Realisation has just hit. Don't know where to begin.

Wonder_Girl

Bankruptcy looks good on paper, but with a monthly surplus like that you would probably have a Income Payment Order attached, also joint debts wouldn’t be included unless you both went bankrupt (currently costs £480 per person in England), so a Debt Management Plan would probably be your better option. Call CCCS today and they will get you booked in for an appointment with a counsellor. They do NOT judge you in any way and it will be a huge weight off your shoulders, I promise.

lynzpower

"PS: Food bill may seem high but that isn't just based on food. I probably should have called it 'housekeeping' or something similar. It includes things like nappies and wipes etc. Even shops own brands work out expensive over time. Oh, and school trips (the school have asked me for another £15 this week). *sigh* I try and get the main bulk of shopping done for £85 a week and shop around to get the best 2 for 1 offers. I luuurve 2 for 1 offers! The rest goes on the above and then things like milk and bread over the week as and when it's required. The kids don't get named brands foods. For example, if they want cheese in their lunchboxes, they get a lump cut off of cheap value Tescos own, not that awful Cheesestring or Dairylea muck, and I try and make cheap meals, like pasta bake, that costs next to nothing. I will certainly have a look around the boards though for some more cheap ideas"

Just to reiterate what others say here, 500 is shed loads a month.

If you ask your local council about reusable nappies they may have a cheapie scheme, as they are of course environmentally freindly. You will have to wash them, but they are very good these days with the velcro in the right places and none of that pins bisiness!! You can sell them on later too, theres a healthy re-sale on ebay.

How many are you feeding, on this money it just seems so much
Its great that you have cheapie options for eating already. Me & OH are doing 25 a week inc cleaning toiletries, so I guess if you double that for your kids it might be more like it. How much are you throwing away?

I recommend, when you have a minute to have a bg purge and go through your whole house and a) work out what you can get rid of and sell on ebay, green metropolis ( books) amazon/ car boot sale etc. You might think you have nothing, but every penny counts, you might make something

Also go through your cupbards, kitchen bathroom and see exactly what you have in. And only buy what you absolutely NEED. I can see you have made good start, but if you only buy cheapie stuff where does the 500 go I would start a spending diary as of right NOW, and account for every penny : ) It also stops spending happening too, if you feel as guilty as I did when I started mine

Good luck, and we are here for you

Sallys_Savings

looks as if moozies made a good start with your soa already

Take everything one step at a time and you'll get through it *super duper big hug*


Remember you're not alone...theres people on here who know exactly how you feel. You sound as if you've got a lovely oh who really cares for you and your children...your family are the most important thing

Like my mother would say "pennies make the pounds" and every little thing really does make a difference.

You mention nappies and wipes..(my children are a wee bit older but I only used cotton wool and water and it works out alot cheaper) ..I also did use terry nappies ...which you could perhaps get from https://www.Freecycle.org (they are in lots of areas..I'm a member of three groups and have seen them on their several times) where you can put a wanted ad up and look through the items offered. You just need to open a yahoo email account which isnt a problem. Even if you just used them for a little while, you're going to save quite a bit of money. If anyone queries you using them just say they're far better for the enviornment
You may find other bits and pieces on Freecyle too..theres always a wide variety......bikes, lawn mowers, bags of clothes, bread machines, cookers, washing machines etc.

Go into the school and have a quiet word about the money they are asking for. I KNOW that the school do not expect everyone to pay this and if their are circumstances that you are finding it difficult they will help. I have been on school boards and they know that it is not always possible. Especially if you have always paid for trips etc in the past. They will have had lots of people going in saying the same in the past so dont be worried about popping in and having a word.

Like another poster wrote...I promise you by making a few phone calls and looking at this now you're going to feel so much better even by this evening

When you've gone through the main points of your soa for everyday living read through all these boards...they are brilliant with little tips etc.
Go through the boards with a note pad and pen to note bits down

Moneysaving old style...including recipes, the magic Stardrops (cleaner for everything and reallyl cheap) etc. etc.
Vouchers and coupons...get money off your shopping bills (or if you're unable to use them collect and sell on ebay)
Freebies...treat yourself to some bits and pieces for FREE
Ebay...sell, sell and sell
Bit on the side thread..on mortgage free board...lots of different ideas on here and definitely worth a try. (not sure how old your children are but over the years I've done a wide variety of jobs in the evenings/weekends...cleaning, carework for the elderly (lots of jobs available at weekends), supermarket shifts, make crafts to sell on, be a party planner? (virgin vie, ann summers etc.), betteware, avon, mysteryshoppers etc. etc.

We're all thinking of you x

Toto

Before I came to these boards no matter how hard I tried I could not get my weekly shop below £100 per week. But I just came out of Tesco with enough food to feed 3 kids and 2 adults (+ 2 hungry cats) for 8 days £57 and that included a lovely joint of finest roast beef (in the reduced section). There are loads of ideas on the OS board so I really recommend it. It has honestly changed my shopping life.

I think once you really have all of your figures right there in front of you it will be much easier to deal with in your own mind. The worry is often much worse than the actual problem. Debtline, CCCs or Payplan will be able to negotiate with all of your creditors for you, so you will be able to stop worrying about that part. I think a DMP would work ok for you. Once that is done, you can concentrate on reducing your monthly expenditure (which isn't hard and if you are anything like me it's almost enjoyable, who doesn't enjoy spending less money in Tesco for all their weekly food?) I am ebaying like crazy, to turn clutter into cash etc.

But do take the pressure of yourself by calling one of the free agencies mentioned (they are really nice and non judgemental, not scary at all and you will feel so much better afterwards).

ismangil

Just zeroing on a small change that can save you £40 a month without too much hassle:

Call Telewest and tell them you want to move to the minimum packages for all three. This should cost only £35 (£11 phone rental, £18 broadband, £6 TV).

Of course there are cheaper broadband if you have a BT line, or go TalkTalk and all those sort of stuff, but for now, all it takes is one phone call. They will pretty much do it instantly and credit you back for pro-rata usage.

Hope this helps.

spud30

Hi wotnext, and welcome to DFW !!!

I haven't anything to add, just wanted to say that you aren't alone. Between us all on here, there isn't much we havent heard before.

We are all here to help each other through our dark days and celebrate when life gets better.


So, big hugs. You have done the hardest bit with your initial post. You are part of the DFW family now, so just yell if you need owt hun !!

:grouphug:

wotnext

Thanks everyone. I feel much better about things. It's a comfort to know we are not alone and everyone has offered such great advice.

I haven't had a chance to look at too much but, with the help of this great site, I have scribbled down the start of a plan:

1. Open a new account with whom I have a card for a Link machine. I currently have a basic Lloyds account, but I can only withdraw money from a Lloyds bank machine or Post Office. This means a car journey - which equals more money in petrol. If I had a link card, I wouldn't have to drive as much and would only need to take out money that I require, rather than take out bulk and keep it with me (which is always a temptation).
2. Phone Telewest and see if I can haggle a reduction off the bill.
3. Open a basic savings account. I will change up all our coppers at the local Sainsburys money counting machine and deposit it on a regular basis. Can be used for Christmas presents.
4. Get my mobile unlocked and changed to 02 so I can take advantage of the free texts. It'd only cost me £10 a month for what I need.
5. I have advised my husband to open a new bank account so he can ditch the cheque book and the overdraft; and because.....
6. I have just been reading up about reclaiming the bank charges! We are both going to go for it. He, in particular, could probably clock up quite a bit if he sat and worked it all out. Last week he was charged £25 for going 79p overdrawn!
7. Continue making the plan........

PS: Husband seems much happier about things. 'Yes Loans' have just called to confirm he received the paperwork and I am pleased to report, with much smug satisfaction, that he told them to take a running jump and explained why. He told them that the person on the phone had led him to believe a credit check had been done, he had been approved and a loan was waiting. He also said that he'd been on a site (here ) which highlighted what con merchants they were. They admitted that it was false information so he told them to get lost!:j

southernscouser

wotnext wrote:

3. I will change up all our coppers at the local Sainsburys money counting machine and deposit it on a regular basis. Can be used for Christmas presents.

4. Get my mobile unlocked and changed to 02 so I can take advantage of the free texts. It'd only cost me £10 a month for what I need.

regarding number 3 by using one of those machines you are going to pay 10% of how ever much you put in! A big rip-off. For hlaf hours work you could save that for yourself. Got to your bank and ask for some money bags. They give them free of charge. Depending on how old your kids are you could even make it a game and get them to do it for you!

And about number 4 there are some threads on here about unlocking your phone for free depending on the model. Do a search for 'unlocking phones/mobiles' and this will save you £10 or £15 rather than taking it to a shop!

southernscouser

wotnext wrote:

PS: Husband seems much happier about things. 'Yes Loans' have just called to confirm he received the paperwork and I am pleased to report, with much smug satisfaction, that he told them to take a running jump and explained why. He told them that the person on the phone had led him to believe a credit check had been done, he had been approved and a loan was waiting. He also said that he'd been on a site (here ) which highlighted what con merchants they were. They admitted that it was false information so he told them to get lost!:j

Brilliant! :rotfl:

Feels great don't it! :j :beer:

moggins

That's the best thing about MSE, once you have all the information, it enables you to feel stronger and more in control of things.

I agree that £500 is an astronomical amount to spend even accounting for nappies and wipes. We used to be a family of 5 (now 4 as DD1 moved out) and only spent £200, DD2 is the youngest at 4 and she was in nappies until she was 3 as she refused to be toilet trained, when she was born I was actually managing on £150. That included all food, laundry, toiletries, pet food etc. I would definitely advise popping over to the Old Style board, you will get so many idea from there and you will find you are eating better too.

Also have you registered with the Pampers and Huggies website, they often send money off vouchers.

Where exactly do you shop? register for every money off coupon you can get and use these to get money off your shopping in Tesco - you don't have to buy the item. Use the Vouchers and Discounts forum and shop online at Tesco, there are always codes around giving you £10 off your shopping, even with the deliver charge you still get £6 worth of free food!!

Also read up on the Tesco Misprice thread - they have the Refund and Retain policy where if you are overcharged for anything they refund you the whole amount and you get to keep the product. You'll be amazed what some people have got.

It's all about changing your outlook, not necessarily changing your way of life, believe me, a good look around these forums and you'll be living better for far less money.