Realisation has just hit. Don't know where to begin.

wotnext

I need help. I can't face it anymore and I don't know what way to turn.

My husband was forced to take 2 weeks unpaid leave from work when I was ill to look after our 3 kids. He hid the fact that he hadn't got paid, got us into a whole heap of debt because he's never been that great with managing money and I only realised when we received a hand-delivered letter from the council some time later telling us we were going to be evicted. Anyway, I spent a lot of last year trying to sort it all out. I went to our local CAB, was referred to a solicitor who, it transpired, was as much help as a chocolate teapot. I was never able to contact her, she promised to assist with companies and didn't. I did the best I could and managed to negotiate a lot of our debts. However, I soon discovered that unless you sort the whole lot out, you are never going to get anywhere. It now feels like I am back to square one. There are debts, there are arrears and the letters and phonecalls are coming thick and fast.

My husband tried to apply for a loan to consolidate our debts and also allow us to buy a larger family car as ours is not big enough. It really would have reduced our outgoings considerably. He, unsurprisingly, was turned down until he finally thought he'd done it - with Yes Loans. I went and got the postal order this morning. But before I did anymore I came on here and realised they are nothing but a big fat con. I am not paying them £50 to turn us down. (Thank god for this site!)

My husband has admitted that he is now finding the situation intolerable and I think he indirectly told me that at times he feels suicidal.

I have tried to sit down and write out a budget sheet, but short of not feeding the family I can see no way of saving money. I don't buy enough food for us all as it is. I am having to take my ex-employers to a tribunal which could take months. I don't know if I'm entitled to anything in the meantime.

I want to be a childminder, which would bring in a much needed second income. Our whole lives would change, and we could more than manage, but because we are currently in temporary accommodation the council have told me I am not allowed to do it until they permanently house us. (We have been in temporary accommodation for 3 YEARS!).

I don't know what to do. I don't know where to turn. I can't do this on my own, yet am frightened of pushing my husband over the edge when he is clearly not coping. I don't know what I'm entitled to or how to take the next step. I'm frightened for my family and I'm frustrated as I feel my hands are tied. I feel like I'm only just holding it together for the sake of my kids. I want to work and I can't so what else can I do?

BlondeHeadOn

Just to say you are in the right place, and there are some wonderful people on here who will be able to help.

Just hang on in there - someone who knows more than me will be along soon to help.

:grouphug:

Surf_Widow

I'm new hear so can't offer much advice but I'm sending you a great big hug and just want to let you know that you're not alone anymore.

Just want to repeat what BlondeHeadOn has said - the people on this site give great advice and have healped many people sort out their finances.

Keep posting - someone will be along soon to help you sort things out.

Wonder_Girl

Please call CCCS on 0800 138 1111 they will sort out everything with you, don't get a loan bit call this number please xxx

Toto

Hi, and welcome. Take a deep breath, there is nothing going on that can't be sorted out with the right help.

First of all look at this thread and post a SOA for us.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=107280

some very helpful people will give you some ideas on how to make your money stretch further.

Also, let us know what debts you have with APRs if possible.

There is a lot of help out there, try reading up on the national debtline, payplan, CCCs websites while the folks here make their suggestions.

Just remember you are not alone.

xx

Emmzi

Huge hugs. This CAN be sorted.

Follow Wonder Girls advice.

xx

Warriorsith

Hello

It seems to be a situation that many on here will relate too, I know others will come to this thread to assist you in more ways than me. You'll need to show them a breakdown of ALL your Debts including the APR's on each and show them your monthly repayments versus your income, this will help others to work out how to reduce your current repayments if possible and to have more food on the table, remember to check out the other forums on how to save money and how to make meals for cheaper for the size of your family etc there are a lot of ideas on this site to help you out.

You have to remember that your life, your OH and your children have to come first more so than debts so don't let this situation start making you feel worst than you lready think it is. Your health and family is the foremost important thing in life, these debts will sort themselves out in time and with our help it will lessen the burden on you and your OH.

lynzpower

Welcome to us here at debt free wanna bee

Have a look at southernscousers first time posters and stick up an SOA, and lets see whats what. We might be able to find some money in your outgoings for getting out of debt with

Also call shelter and speak to one of their caseworkers about becoming homeless, they get the job done and try to sort out situations like this with a lot of skill in my experience.

Well done for not getting that loan

Sallys_Savings

A huge huge hug for you.

If you're able to type out your soa as above poster mentioned it will help people to take a look on where you can save.

Everyone on here are absolutely brilliant and you're sure to get so much help

Theres so many people in the same boat as yourself and are either sorting it out now or have sorted through these problems themselves on these boards.

You've done really well to admit the problem and try to sort it out *an extra hug for that"

You may be entitled to benefits/working tax credit?

It must be a real strain for you, especially as you say your oh is very down about it.

*take a deep breath....smile and say you can do it* This can be sorted out.

Re: Childminding...you may not be able to do childminding, but perhaps you could do childminding in their home?
If you're looking for other ways of making extra money there is a thread on the mortgage free board ...(sorry but I havent a clue how to do the links) but its call "a bit on the side"...honesty it is a working thread There are lots of extra ideas to try.

Once you've sorted the initial paperwork/soa etc out take a look at the other threads that will help with money saving ideas...moneysaving old style...debt free wannabes etc.

Good luck and keep logging on here for help and enthusiasm to get through this.

FRUGAL_4

Wotnext, contact national debtline, payplan or CCS today, you will really start to feel better.

My advice is do not consolidate your debts, sometimes consolidation loans are quick fixes and don't really help you out in the long run.

You also mention that you need a bigger car, my advice is that can wait, don't get deeper into debt than you are just now, you have three kids who need clothing and feeding, and you mention that you don't buy enough food as it is, again don't put more pressure on yourself and your husband by taking out more credit. Have a look at the Old Style Board, they have a thread on food on a budget - see Black Saturn's menu planner in particular.

Post your SOA and you will get some valuable, very useful advise and help.

Remember you are not alone, many of the posters on the DFW board are/where in a similar position to you.

Sit down, have a cup of tea and make the phone call, you are one step away from seeking the help you are desperately needing.

Nothing cannot be sorted, I'm thinking of you.

Frugal

Broken_hearted

Have you offered reduced payments to the companies you owe money too.