PCN-UK Ltd

dacouch

Try reading this from the UKPS website out in a Alexander the Meerkat accent and add "simples" on to the end. If you do that it will sort of make sense...

"OUR HIGHLY VISABLE WHEEL CLAMPING SIGNS ARE MORE THAN A 95% DETTERENT, HOWEVER IF THEY DON'T SOLVE THE PROBLEM WE WILL SEND IN OUR EXPERIENCED AND HIGHLY TRAINED VEHICHLE IMMOBILISERS TO COMBAT THE ISSUE.
AT UKPS WE DEAL WITH ALL TYPES OF ORGANISATIONS FROM SMALL BUSINESSES TO BIG RETAIL OUTLETS, AT UKPS WE CATER FOR ALL BUSINESS NEEDS"

http://www.uk-protectionservices.co.uk/car-park-management.php

I won't point out their spelling mistakes, they can ask around their office until they find someone who can spell or if they are all educationally challenged they should use a spell checker.

dacouch

This page has some even greater spelling mistakes / text speak...

http://www.uk-protectionservices.co.uk/car-park-management-faq.php

P.S I have never heard of an Insurance Company called "Strong Insurance" they must be new.

DO YOU HAVE INSURANCE?

YES WE HOLD A STRONG INSURANCE POLICY 10 MILLION EMPLOYERS LIABILITY AND 5 MILLION PUBLIC LIABILITY

anewman

Insurance cost only £5.99 from top Nigerian insurance company

Coblcris

I was tempted to look.
I see that cheap psychotherapy is also offered:

"WE PROVIDE COST EFFECTIVE SOLUTIONS FOR ALL YOUR PARKING NIGHTMARES"

I hope they do not get SUID.


Utterly appaling content. Shamefully poor.

peter_the_piper

"""NO UKPS DOES NOT CLAMP DISABLED DRIVERS."""
Now their cars, well that's a different matter.

dacouch

You can just imagine the scene in their office when whichever employee who was in charge of the wording on their website showed them his / her work. I bet they were so proud with the management speak they had come up with and the rest of the staff thought the buyers of large companies would be so impressed...

Spelling and lacking plurals or in the circumstaces should I say plural?

P.S They are not very optimistic about the quality of their cleaning in the trial period...

CAN i HAVE A TRIAL PERIOD TO FIND OUT WHAT YOUR SERVICE IS ACTUALLY LIKE?

The first months cleaning is done on a trial basis. If at the end of that period you are happy and wish to proceed then you will be asked to sign a 12 month contract which you can terminate at any time with one months notice. This only applies to commercial customers. Domestic customers do not enter into any form of contract unless they wish to do so.


http://www.uk-protectionservices.co.uk/cleaning-services.php

Kite2010

Is it in caps on the website?

If so, ******* probably put it though Microsoft Word to check for spelling mistakes and because Word ignores words in Upper class it wouldn't have put the little red light underneath.

HO87

I am somewhat confused by the fact that two of "The Team" apparently joined the company in 2008 - one of them in January 2008 - when the company wasn't incorporated until June 2009. Either they are remarkably prescient or perhaps the page has been lifted lock, stock and barrel from some other random website? Personally I go for them being prescient.

dacouch

Kite2010 wrote: »

Is it in caps on the website?

If so, Ashford and Co probably put it though Microsoft Word to check for spelling mistakes

Your probably right, only problem is they will now know why they have so many spelling mistakes when they have spell checked it.

(Any chance you could edit your post so we can still keep having a laugh at their spelling).

P.S Is it me or is everyone who lives in that area bad at spelling?

dacouch

HO87 wrote: »

I am somewhat confused by the fact that two of "The Team" apparently joined the company in 2008 - one of them in January 2008 - when the company wasn't incorporated until June 2009. Either they are remarkably prescient or perhaps the page has been lifted lock, stock and barrel from some other random website? Personally I go for them being prescient.

They have a testimonial from before the limited company started, I suspect they were a trading as business or they got a friend to do it or they have done a testimonial for the boss / senior staff for when they worked for another company there.

My betting is on them being a trading as business, I used to work for a similar company many many years ago. They tend to be door staff that are head doorman. They take on another venue and then another, then they realise they can make more money by having static guards at factories and the like so start on this. They then either find the customers are loath to deal with trading as businesses or their accountant advises them to go limited so their liabilities are restricted.

The security businesses I had dealings with that emerged from door staff were comically badly run