How old does a child have to be before they can come home to an empty house do you th

ruthyjo

I know that in law there is no minimum age at which children can be left alone, although neglecting a child is a crime.

I have two sons aged 10 and 9. Currently on the days I work they are in an Out of School Club after school. They are moving school in September and will be travelling home by a school bus that gets in at 4.45. Generally I am home from work by that time. My husband or I will definitely be home by 5.30 as this is the time I will be paying their younger sister's childminder up until.

I'm finding it impossible to find a childcarer who would accept them from when they get in until I get home. They're too old (turn 11 and 10 both in the Autumn term) and it's for too short a space of time to be worth anyone's while.

I'm beginning to wonder if I'll just have to give them a key each and instructions to let themselves in if I'm not home yet (plus a detailed list of dos and don'ts for once they're in). I have a neighbour with a business five minutes walk away. She would have a spare key and be there for emergencies, as would my daughter's childminder.

Am I mad to be considering this?

AnnieH

There is no law (believe it or not) about what age a child can be left alone in England. In Scotland the law is 12 years.

The thing is, that you can leave your child alone from any age, but if something happens to them (or you get reported to Social Services) you will get prosecuted for neglecting them. Mad eh?

holstar

I was allowed to get home to an empty house from around 10 (for about 15-20 minutes a day), then when I went to secondary school, mums job changed at the same time so I was left for an hour - 90 minutes.

You'll only be leaving for 45 mins max..somedays not at all if you are 'generally home by that time'...so I wouldn't think it would be a problem.

You could try a 'dry run' sometime, like...get them to pretend you aren't there, and do what they would do if it was a proper school day and you weren't in....see how they are with that.

Depending on your job / manager, would it be possible to try and arrange to leave a little earlier for the first month or so, so they alone for a little less while they get used to it?


(and I don't think you're mad at all to consider this!)

skylight

It doesn't matter on the age - it goes on if you would deem them responsible enough.

If they are old enough and responsilbe enough to catch and be on a bus by themselves, they should be responsible enough to be on their own for just over half an hour.

I dont think you are mad for doing this - my brother and I were left too when I was 9 and he was 7 to do the same.

But its not just a list of do's and don'ts - make sure they know their emergency drills; its far more important!

ruthyjo

Thanks AnnieH. As you can see from the first line of my post I have done the research and was aware of that.

I suppose there are two elements to my dilemna

Firstly, how likely am I am to be prosecuted for neglect if I leave them alone if someone just reports me or worse if something does actually happen?

But,much more importantly, are two boys aged 11 and 10 old enough to be left alone safely for up to fourty five minutes. I just want other people's opinions on this as I don't want to put my boys at any serious risk, but also can't from a work point of view guarantee being home for them.

Obviously I have friends I could call upon in an emergency if circumstances arose that meant neither my husband or I could get home for 5.30 (e.g. because of a motorway closure) but have been unable to find a regular arrangement.

skylight

You would not be prosecuted - dont worry about that! Social Services are not going to be banging down your door and dragging you to court if someone complains (unless you have had issues with them in the past).

Would someone complain? And who? Social Services would investigate any complaint made at some point this millennia and would only take it further if they felt the children were in danger - how many kids in this country do you think are left alone after school? Probably tens of thousands and the vast majority are well rounded individuals (like yours!) who are quite capable.

Afterall, Social Services leave 11/12/13+yos to look after alcoholic and drug dependant parents AND expect them to complete their education at the same time - I really don't think they would be too worried about an hour or so after school!!

Bossyboots

My friend spoke to social services about this when she needed to go back to work. She was told that provided nothing went wrong they would not be interested, even if someone reported it. However, she was warned that if something did go wrong she could be in a lot of trouble. However, the children were younger than yours.

Quite honestly, I do not believe your children will be unique. Only you can say whether you can trust them, we don't know them. In theory, I can see nothing wrong with your plan. You seem to have thought it all through thoroughly and that is what social services would be looking for if a problem arose, to see that you had done everything you could to ensure their safety. After all, things go wrong when adults are present. It is not necessarily neglect just because something happens when they are alone.

If it was me, I would want a structure in place to minimise problems. Things like their routine should be to come in get changed, get a cold drink and a pre prepared snack if that is what you would do in your household. Otherwise, to either watch television for rest of the time or read or something. That way you are minimising the things that could go wrong and then as time goes on you will find you can relax your rules a little as well as relaxing yourself as it works out.

One other thing to consider is whether they are likely to squabble/fight while you are not there. You obviously do not want to be reported because someone regularly hears them shouting at each other at the same time every day.

Queenie

ruthyjo wrote:

I know that in law there is no minimum age at which children can be left alone, although neglecting a child is a crime.

I have two sons aged 10 and 9. Currently on the days I work they are in an Out of School Club after school. They are moving school in September and will be travelling home by a school bus that gets in at 4.45. Generally I am home from work by that time. My husband or I will definitely be home by 5.30 as this is the time I will be paying their younger sister's childminder up until. ... I have a neighbour with a business five minutes walk away. She would have a spare key and be there for emergencies, as would my daughter's childminder.

Am I mad to be considering this?

Ask yourself this. What contingency plans will you put in place for the following:-

~ you/dh are involved in a serious accident on your way home? (sound dramatic? nopey! Happened to my dh 2yrs ago - someone else's fault, but it happened!)
~ your children arrive home to find an intruder on premises, with a weapon, burgling your home?
~ one of your children developes epilepsy and has a fit (sound dramatic? Nopey, happened with my eldest when he was 11yo )
~ your two son's (now approaching hormonal adolescence) have a spat, turns nasty and they attack each other w/out thinking through the consequences (sound dramatic? Nopey! My bro attacked me with a knife when we were left alone - ages? 14yrs me 15yrs bro)

I don't want to scare monger, and that certainly isn't my intention, but, I am not unique, nor am I a 'jinxed' individual but the above happened and is real.

~ could your child/ren cope under any of the above circumstances?
~ could you live with your own emotions if, *IF*, any of the above, (or even any not yet mentioned), happened?
~ did you do *everything* your parents told you to, or not to do?
~ could you cope if you were reported to Social Services, who in turn decided you were being neglectful?

The ultimate question you need to ask of yourself is:-

~ are you prepared to take the risk

Only *you* can decide. I wish you well in your decision. I'm not judging you, nor being critical in any way, shape or form. *All* I'm saying is this ... life *never* goes to plan.

Voyager2002

Well, my son is now 13 and has been coming home to an empty house for quite a long time. I actually think that he was/is far more at risk crossing roads than being in the house, so his traffic skills were the critical consideration for me.

I think that many ten-year-olds would be fine in this situation, but some should never be left unsupervised: as a parent you are the best person to judge this.

One critical question: can you make and receive telephone calls at work? Make sure that your children can easily get hold of you and/or your neighbour by telephone -- get a 'phone with a memory and make sure they know which button will dial your number. For most children, that will be fine.

Baileys_Babe

Only you can know your own children. Have you asked your sons how they feel about this?
As has already been said you need to establish what they need to do when they get in, fill their time less chance of things going wrong. I don't think they should be allowed to have friends in when your out. Do they know what to do in an emergency? What happens if the school bus fails to turn up.
I think at this age they should be ok by themselves for upto 45mins but use the time from now to September preparing your family for this change.

AnnieH

Sorry, I didn't read the first nit of your post ruthjo, and missed the bit where you know about what the law states.

I doubt very much if you would get prosecuted as long as your boys aresensible and know EXACTLY what to do if there was an emergency whilst being home alone.

Good luck