Restorative Justice - is it an excuse for the school not to deal with bullies?

tired_mum

Hi Kazi have been there like you with your daughter only it was my son who after years of torment flipped and attacked one of the boys who was tormenting him after this incident the school said it had been dealt with but hadnt as the school seem to have no powers another child threatened him with a metal file in tech when we approached the school and said who it was they just laughed and said oh we know what hes like, a wind up in the end my son had a breakdown as he had to hold his feelings in please please keep a diary of all incidents and what the school have said if you are not happy make an appointment with the governers and take this furthur
There is a good end to my story as DS is now at a new school which i cant praise enough and have gone out of their way to help him and make the transition easy there discipline is second to none and they dont tolerate bullying and other parents praise the school
Hugs to you all its a hard place to be as a mum

onlyroz

My school would get the police involved in cases of violence and theft - and I think that was a pretty effective deterrent on the whole. I think that you should make it clear in your meeting that the police are aware of the matter and will be taking action if the school is unable to deal with the situation.

Bennifred

It may be worth quoting "Safeguarding" as this is the latest buzz word for Ofsted. Every child has a right to be and feel safe in school. School has a duty of care to every pupil. It sounds as though their anti-bullying policy is nowhere near robust enough :mad:- I would contact the Chair of Governors about that. At the very least, the bullies should be kept in at break and lunchtime, if they can't behave themselves.
If the school will not sort this out, then definitely treat each physical incident as assault and insist that the police take it further (tell the school that you intend to do this - might shock them into doing something!)

Good luck - and do keep us informed.

Kazipoo

Thanks once again for all of the replies, no worries to anyone who thinks they are wittering on lol, i've got my level-headed mum head on, not my neurotic worry-wart one on hehehehee!!

It is hard to deal with, I feel like I have to !!!!!foot around the situation, when what I would really love to do is grab the little darlings by the neck and shake it out of them, but that would be very wrong!

Anyhoo, from what I can gather, the two bullies will be going to a different secondary school, so if its not stopped by then, at least it should be over for her.

My daughter already does karate, but they are taught this as self-defence, and something you are not allowed to use in anger, and tbh I don't think it has occured to her anyway lol, and with regard approaching the bullies parents, well I would, but there has been other incidents with these two girls with other children, where the parents of the other victims did just that, and there is a big hoo-har about it all now, so thats a bit of a no-no.

My sister, in her wisdom, bless her, has told my daughter to grab her by the hair and bite her face, a sure fire way to get her to stop bullying her lol. Plus, she wants to come over (she lives over 100 miles away) and give the "chavvy parents" what for too..... awww I do love her!!!

All good ideas I am sure, but for the time being, i will work on making them take some responsibility. I am thinking about printing up a flyer in the hope that other parents come forward, obviously without mentioning any specifics or names. Perhaps we can "bully" the school into getting a decent policy in place?

gingin_2

Well done Kazipoo for being so proactive. I'd keep making a fuss too, if I were in your shoes.

Does the school have a Board of Governers? Mine does, I never really realised until I was looking through the school website - there are two governers, one for student welfare and the other for bullying - yours might have the same - just trying to think of another avenue you can go down.

shays_mum

You can call the local council's safeguarding children's department, they will take you seriously, so sorry to hear about this - i know the feeling with my little one a while back. HTH

Kazipoo

Thanks again for the responses.

So... I have bee working on my list of demands, ideally with my daughter in mind, but obviously works for all children who are being bullied, this is it so far, I am sure I have left stuff off, so more ideas are good:


What do I want the school to do?

1. I want my child to feel like she is safe from harm when she comes to school.
2. I don’t want her to feel that by telling the teacher it is interrupting the teacher. My child should not feel uncomfortable or ashamed to admit this is happening.
3. I want the bullying policy to be clearer, to show the approaches the school takes with regard to bullying and what it is doing to tackle these behaviours.
4. I want the school to inform the parents of the bullies at the earliest convenience that their child is behaving in this manner.
5. I want the school to keep the parents of the victim up-to-date with the situation at regular intervals, and ensure that the parent feels like the school is taking the allegations seriously.
6. I want there to be a zero tolerance policy with regard to bullies who become physical. There must be measures in place that immediately show the bully that this behaviour will not be tolerated. These measures could include removing the offender from classes, for a set period of time to have one to one tuition with a dedicated learning mentor.
7. I want there to be a three strikes and you’re out rule with regard to re-offenders.
8. If measures such as restorative justice are in place, I want assurances that all staff are trained accordingly and have the ability and qualifications to work with children in this way.



And, any suggestions for tweaking the letter would be helpful too....:

Dear Mr xxxxxxx,

As you are very aware, my daughter xxxxxxx has been sporadically bullied by a girl in her class called xxxxxx over the past three years. This has, on several occasions, warranted a visit to the school to chat with the class teachers and on one occasion a meeting with yourself. As the incidents were sporadic and at the time seemed to be dealt with by the school, I took no further action. However, more recently, after much encouragement from xxxxxx, another girl, xxxxx, has been physically abusive toward my daughter.

I would like to inform you that the LEA and the police have been informed about these assaults, and any further incidents of this nature will be pursued by the police as criminal assault by the child involved and negligence by the school by failing in their duty of care.

Your lack of action is no longer acceptable and I now require firm assurances that these bullies will be dealt with immediately and demand immediate measures be implemented to ensure my daughter's safety and well-being whilst in your care.

Although I will be attending the school for a meeting with yourself and the class teacher, I respectfully additionally request this information in writing at your earliest convenience.

Yours sincerely,

Penny_Watcher

If your daughter had been thumped outside school then her attacker could have been arrested for assault. Why should it be different inside school?

My son was beaten up outside school hours about 2 years ago when he was 13. We had the boy who did arrested and prosecuted. (There were witnesses and irrefutable evidence). This gave the power back to my son. The bully learnt that because he hit my boy he ended up in court with a criminal record. My son learnt not to fight back (unless you're in real danger) but let the police deal with it. He made a video statement for the court and the bully was found guilty, ordered to pay my son £10 compensation and write a letter of apology.

It wasn't a 'bad' attack (although any attack is bad) on DS1 - he was cornered by two bullies and thumped once in the jaw hard enough to split his lip. It's the principal of the thing - no-one is allowed to hit my children EVER!

The bully now knows not to go anywhere near my son.

Stick to your guns Kazipoo. You're doing a fantastic job so far in my opinion :T

gingin_2

Kazipoo wrote: »

Thanks again for the responses.

Dear Mr xxxxxxx,

As you are very aware, my daughter xxxxxxx has been sporadically bullied by a girl in her class called xxxxxx over the past three years. This has, on several occasions, warranted a visit to the school to chat with the class teachers and on one occasion a meeting with yourself. As the incidents were sporadic and at the time seemed to be dealt with by the school, I took no further action. However, more recently, after much encouragement from xxxxxx, another girl, xxxxx, has been physically abusive toward my daughter.


Yours sincerely,

Only constructive comment I can make is to take out the word "sporadically", leave it as "is being bullied". She is now being bullied consistently - saying sporadically makes your point a little weaker (purely my opinion).

Otherwise, I think it is excellent.

jamesb1239

Restorative Justice is being brought in across the country by the Police, Fire & Schools to basically nip things in the bud before they develop any further, therefore preventing young people from going through the criminal justice system. It aims to make the wrongdoers realise the effects of their actions and hopefully prevent them from doing it again. It is helpful in approximately 90% of cases but as with any method its not 100% and it is also hindered by the people facilitating those meetings not having the correct training to do so.

If the bullying has escellated after this then please do not hesitate to contact the police, whether this is occuring in or out of school it is still assault.