What to do??

rheme

Debt_Free_Chick wrote: »

I agree with the sentiments of this.

My take on it is this ...

There are two people in a relationship and if one strays, then the other one has played a part in moving the person in to a space whereby they seek or find something in the affair that is lacking in their existing relationship.

Communication with your partner is the only way. There is something lacking in your current relationship and you have to work with your partner to find out what's wrong.

The affair doesn't always have to come about because the other party contributed to it. There are some people who despite being in a happy loving relationship (married or not) feel the need to have affairs,they just can't help themseves. Some are not even happy with one affair at a time but have multiple, so who's to blame there?

Newbegining - Not for one instance suggesting that your other half is or has had multiple affairs.

Minimum_Wage_2

it sounds as if the relationship became stale, that's probably why he done it.
do you believe he is sorry? that's the main question.
you can forgive him but its hard to forget, i know as I've been there a few times.
you need to sit down and talk, if he wont tell you then ask him why he wont tell you!
it will be hard on both parties but it can be done, you'll have to learn to trust him and he'll have to work at getting that trust back.

good luck with what ever you go with.

mandi

Its always a difficult to answer threads like this , but my advice would be to give yourself some time to " think ", dont let him stay at home, and dont whatever you do end up in bed together.

I always believe that in( most cases) people should be given a 2nd chance, but if you do decide to give him the chance , dont make it easy for him .

DeeDee74

((hugs)) only u can decide what u want to do hun.
i'd want to know it all, when, why ,ect. i think that's important for many reason but mainly to hopefully if you were to give him a second chance learn why he did it.

i do believe everyone deserves more than one chance. people do make mistakes.
hope things work out for u hun x

Errata

It's a difficult situation to resolve. Saying sorry and really meaning it and forgiving and really meaning it is important - but they are only words.
Concrete action concentrates the mind, and a suggestion that a trip to the STD clinic will be necessary before lives can be got on with often works wonders.

Mupette

Have you thought about relate.

Pete*G_4

punch him in the balls. tell him not to do it again.

shazrobo

i dont think i'd be ever able to trust him again, if i was in your shoes, i'd concentrate on myself and the kids.

DeeDee74

Seriously are u happy with not knowing?
can u think about forgiving him and movin on and rebuilding your relationship without a proper explaination?

If not tell him there is no chance the relationship will work, give him the chance,choice if he chooses not to tell you then you are much better off without him.
do you not know who the other woman is? hell go talk to her.. i would and have

if you'd rather not know why he did it then you have to think if you can move on from this if you want and can u forgive him and make your relationship work. x

Errata

So he says stupidity is the reason he did it ? No, the reason he did it was because he could and didn't think he'd be found out and now he feels stupid.

Perhaps he needs to realise that actions havre consequences, so a week sleeping in his car might give him the opportunity to consider the future he can look forward to if he's not careful. He'll think that sleeping in his care is awful - tough, it's not as awful as what he's done to his kids and you.