** Weekend 5th/6th Daily Chat** Come on in for a natter

spud30

Buffy, I dont think you sound like a baby at all hun but I DO think you should pick better friends who would help and support you rather than criticise.

bank_of_slate

Right, bedtime for me!
Nighty night
...Linda xx

Buffythedebtslayer

Its just I don't have anyone and I never have and I am so afraid I am going to turn in to some sad single friend that is always needy (which was fine we were all single/having relationship issues) and for !!!!'s sake I have done loads this year on my own.

I think i am just lonely, my melt down today was really on the wrong person she has enough to deal with.

and I am lonely even if it is pathetic.

Ames

Buffy, I feel like that sometimes. Or rather, I feel like I should be wanting my own home and husband and baby and all the rest of it. But actually, I don't want that. It's ok to want something different from everyone around you, and no-one's got the right to judge you for it.

Try and think of the positives: You're not getting further and further in debt to pay the outrageous mortgage like they probably are, you're dealing with what debts you do have by being sensible. In 10 years time you'll be able to go on nice holidays when they're moaning about not being able to afford the latest gadgets for the kids. You don't have to worry about losing your home if interest rates go up. You don't have to compromise on things to make a relationship work - you can be who you are, and do what you want to do. You don't have as much washing/ironing/cleaning as they do. You can always get cuddles from the guinea pigs (and all they'll want in return is food). You don't smell of baby sick.

Sorry if that sounded flippant.

Ames

Cross posted Buffy.

I know what you mean, I've only had one 'relationship' and that was built on convenience not feelings. I worry that I'll never find anyone, in fact I'm kind of building my life and expectations on the assumption that I wont. I do sometimes wish I had someone to give me a hug, and all the rest, but mainly it's just about hugging. Having someone there to cuddle up to and watch TV, and make me a cup of tea after a hospital appointment. I don't know how to deal with all those feelings, I just push them away and try and forget about them.

But you've got so much going for you, I'm sure you will find someone. And it'll be the right person - I wonder how many of your friends have panicked and settled down for the sake of it, just because they ought to. It takes a lot more guts to hang on for the right person and reasons.

Buffythedebtslayer

I sort of wish that was true, I am just rubbish at relaionships and have trained myself to do stuff by myself and not "want" a relationship.

Except its not that I don't want a relationship its that I don't want to be hurt.

Its ALWAYS the same my life and it is stupid. I need to grow up I need to make changes and I do need to stop being a baby. Having a baby is amazing and my life is easy by comparison

I am just rambling now.

Shoe_Gal

scaredy_cat wrote: »

Buffy, i have those thoughts and feelings too. i'm very consious of being in my college class the only single person without kids or a partner. All the others have either one or both.

bank_of_slate wrote: »

I wouldn't be surprised if your friends with babies look at you and say "I'm so jealous that she can go where she wants, when she wants without having to pack 5 tons of poo related stuff into a bag first."

...Linda xx

spud30 wrote: »

Buffy, I dont think you sound like a baby at all hun but I DO think you should pick better friends who would help and support you rather than criticise.

Well said to everybody Buffy - you are a good person, don't let others judge you

And a lot of people feel lonely sometimes - I often do :eek:

Ames

Buffy, that exactly sums it up for me too - I don't want to get hurt.

Buffythedebtslayer

I guess I just want an answer, a full stop an end to this uncertainty,I don't mean this as it sounds but I want a reason to carry on, an aim like my friends have their children

I really don't know what the point is?

I don't mean I am going to top myself I really don't its just before my Dad died I thought i had all this stuff to come but life just seems to be on repeat and I am really unclear as to how........ I dont know fast forward it!!

And it is really annoying me, cos aside from some lovely people on here no one in real life is in a similar position and i feel like a freak (but not here)

Shoe_Gal

Buffy

Please don't take this as criticism but your destiny is in your hands. When we chatted on your diary earlier you said you could be debt free in 2010, then leave your job, move etc. That is only a few months away and totally achievable - you can do it! Your life is not on repeat unless you allow it to be

Take care of you :A