Is there such a thing as a quarter life crisis?

Ali-OK

ti1980 wrote:

This is a great thread and so relevant to a lot of DFWs.

Even being a DFW, I still have quite a carefree attitude towards money, I don't spend a lot in some areas then I spend more than I should in others.

I went to Uni and while I don't regret the experience, as I made a lot of good friends there that I still hope to be in touch with when I'm much much older, sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I had never gone.

Most of my friends who never went to Uni are on higher salaries than those who went. People say that your wages will go up more rapidly if you have Uni qualifications but with my friends that hasnt turned out to be the case at all.
A lot of people end up taking jobs that has nothing to do with their qualifications just to pay the bills as they find that they can't get jobs in what they studied. Uni paints a rosy picture of how life is with qualifications but in reality things are often different.

I decided a while ago that I wasn't going to let my debt rule my head. I used to have sleepless nights about it but the way I see it now is that I will probably be in debt for the next 30 years so I might as well get used to it.

Well, I didn't go to Uni and I joined the workforce when graduates were the people to get on management routes. I started at the bottom, worked hard, moved companies if the promotions weren't there to be had and increased salary as I did it. I even changed career and have now got to the top of that ladder.

I'm glad I didn't go (disappointed the parents, but hey they've gotten over it!) - determination, common sense and "learn something new everyday" have worked for me.

I've friends and rellies who went - some have done well work wise others haven't, but they do admit it was a great experience.

ben500

The biggest problem that younger people tend to suffer from most these days is distinguishing the difference between NEED and WANT.

If you need something then perhaps sometimes it is more prudent to incur debt to obtain it.

If you want something most often it is better to save for it otherwise you will not be able to satisfy your NEEDS!

dinkylou

ben500 wrote:

The biggest problem that younger people tend to suffer from most these days is distinguishing the difference between NEED and WANT.

If you need something then perhaps sometimes it is more prudent to incur debt to obtain it.

If you want something most often it is better to save for it otherwise you will not be able to satisfy your NEEDS!

I disagree with you Ben,

I dont think that its younger people that suffer from this, I think its all people.

That includes the baby boomers trying to keep up with the Jones (and they do) the retired living the life they want with their extra equity (with help from the likes of Saga etc) and everyone in between.

I think that most people are suffering from some degree of greed but it is too easy to blame this just on the young.

I think the pressure from the media and peer pressure (at all ages) has a lot to answer for.

Rant over (but it bugs me when people slate younger people for being greedy etc etc, when many older people are far greedier)

Mirtos

I just wanted to say that YES, going to uni is a drain on the finances (check my sig - i finished my MA 1 year ago.), but I would not exchange my time at Uni for all the money in the world. When I look back on who I was and how I thought before I went, and how Uni pushed me to improve myself both intellectually, socially and physically, I can honestly say that it was worth every penny. I know some people don't have this experience, but I thought there should be a voice cheering for the "uni is worth it" corner!

ms_london

It's interesting to read people's opinions of Uni & whether going or not going makes a difference!

I didnt go & to be honest didnt even do A Levels, but went to college & studied Business Admin (?) for a year & then went on to do level 3 whilst working at the same time. Not sure how useful this course was, but at the time I had no idea what I wanted to study or to do job wise, so I fell into administration and have worked my way up.

Part of me wishes I had gone to Uni & got a degree, more to prove to myself that I could do it more than anything else, and to enjoy the social aspect of things, but as I said, I didnt have a clue what I wanted to do, so how on earth could I decide which course to take? Even now I am not sure what I want to do & am hoping that travelling might give me some ideas!

I do wish I hadnt gotten in to debt as I would have had a head start on my savings, but I dont think I was that way inclined at that age anyway, but I did enjoy the time I was spending the money, so it wasnt all bad.

There is definately a lot of pressure. Even now I want it all & want to go travelling, but at the same time want to get on the property ladder.

I feel as though I'll never be happy & will always be waiting or aiming for something else, which sometimes isnt a bad thing, but too much pressure isnt good!!

Aaarrrrrgghhhhhh !!

Oh well, am going to enjoy my time away & worry about being sensible when I'm back.

xx

raven_3

This thread is such interesting reading. I definitely think there is a quarter life crisis. There's too much pressure on people to have it all these days.

I was looking through some photos from when I was little and my mum and dad had just bought the house we've grown up in and, with grown-up eyes, noticed some interesting things. It is a big house, but the place looked like a wreck. We had ancient naff-looking kitchen appliances and old carpets. There was no 'styling' to the decor and everything was a mishmash. My dad's taken years to get it how it is now...clean, fresh, modern. With new appliances and pricey carpet. It made me think...people my age (23) expect to have the perfect-looking house straightaway, will get into debt to have the latest mod-cons and so on. It's taken my parents years to get where they are now but they are comfortable and can afford most things, plus have a gorgeous house and barely any debt. Young people are being tempted to do things the wrong way round.

My OH got himself into a lot of debt between 18-23 (20k). His job pays well but he pays £250 a month for 5 years to own a BMW Mini - in reality, luxuries like this should be the sorts of things you save for and buy when all's comfortable, not when you're 21. He has a better car than my dad, and my dad's in his 50s and earns over twice as much - how come?!
But he hasn't spent his money on travelling the world. More on a champagne lifestyle that I think he now regrets. I am appalled that he was allowed to borrow so much in the first place.

Myself, I'm only in £600 debt now (It was 1500 but I'm paying it off now)and I've had a lot of holidays since turning 19. But I often think how easy it would be if I decided to go to Australia or somewhere next year...I could just borrow more money. Easy peasy. But that's not my ideal life. I know ultimately I'd be sacrificing my everyday freedom just to have a wild holiday. I have a pension and am saving once the £600 is paid off, plus opening an account for holidays. I think you need a balance - you can't have it all now and later!

Whoever said you won't care later if you wore M&S or Prada now, you'll remember the people and the places. So true - I wish more young people would believe this.

lady_fuschia

Oh wow- thanks everyone for all your posts, its really heart-warming to feel like I'm not alone in feeling so torn!

It was interesting to read the post about young (or any age) people's failure to distinguish between NEED and WANT, as I think this is part of what causes the crisis. A lot of the time I feel guilty and irresponsible if I invest time or money in something I don't need, just because I want it, as I should be being more sensible. But then I have to consider, that if I only did the things I needed to do, would I really be living, or merely surviving? The voice of reason in my head tells me I can have the things I want if only I save up for them, but I know that in the case of many of these things, by the time I save the money, my life will be different and I may not have the freedom I have now. When I'm 35 maybe I'll be able to afford that PHD or the trip to South America or whatever it is, but will I do that, or will I want to start trying to have kids before its too late, and use my hard earned cash to give them more oppurtunities?

I guess this is what they mean when they say youth is wasted on the young!!

Anyway, I had a long think about all this and decided that the only answer (such as it is) is that I need to decide what I want to do in life, whats important to me, then work out how much it will cost, how I'm going to achieve it, timescale etc. And work from that. So I've started writing a list of all the things I want to fit in before I die- its quite ambitious at the moment (190 items, although some are easier than others- "Learn to use a semi-colon correctly" is one of my favorites! Not everything costs money!)but I'm going to use it as a basis for making some kind of plan. So watch this space!
Anyway, I hope you all get through your own crises and emerge as better people!!

lynzpower

ms_london wrote:

It's interesting to read people's opinions of Uni & whether going or not going makes a difference!

I didnt go & to be honest didnt even do A Levels, but went to college & studied Business Admin (?) for a year & then went on to do level 3 whilst working at the same time. Not sure how useful this course was, but at the time I had no idea what I wanted to study or to do job wise, so I fell into administration and have worked my way up.

Part of me wishes I had gone to Uni & got a degree, more to prove to myself that I could do it more than anything else, and to enjoy the social aspect of things, but as I said, I didnt have a clue what I wanted to do, so how on earth could I decide which course to take? Even now I am not sure what I want to do & am hoping that travelling might give me some ideas!

I do wish I hadnt gotten in to debt as I would have had a head start on my savings, but I dont think I was that way inclined at that age anyway, but I did enjoy the time I was spending the money, so it wasnt all bad.

There is definately a lot of pressure. Even now I want it all & want to go travelling, but at the same time want to get on the property ladder.

I feel as though I'll never be happy & will always be waiting or aiming for something else, which sometimes isnt a bad thing, but too much pressure isnt good!!

Aaarrrrrgghhhhhh !!

Oh well, am going to enjoy my time away & worry about being sensible when I'm back.

xx

and just think how much longer it would have been to get out of debt ifd you has student loans and fees added on to it. I think you should consider that when you are stretching out on bondi beach :j

ms_london

lynzpower wrote:

and just think how much longer it would have been to get out of debt ifd you has student loans and fees added on to it. I think you should consider that when you are stretching out on bondi beach :j

But I am not sure I would have gone mental with my spending if I'd gone to Uni - or at least the APR's would have been lower?! (and at least I'd get a degree out of it - I dont think student loans etc should be counted as debt to be honest!!).

Ah yes, Bondi Beach, cant wait!! Hand my notice in on Mon :eek: - it's all starting to feel real now!!

xx

lynzpower

ms_london wrote:

But I am not sure I would have gone mental with my spending if I'd gone to Uni - or at least the APR's would have been lower?! (and at least I'd get a degree out of it - I dont think student loans etc should be counted as debt to be honest!!).

Ah yes, Bondi Beach, cant wait!! Hand my notice in on Mon :eek: - it's all starting to feel real now!!

xx

Well its still debt, still needs paying, sadly.
APRS arnt lower at all, on my grad accout which is meant to be cheaper the rate is 21% on purchases :eek: cant wait to get shot of that!!

Bet you cant wait, IM SO GREEN EYED!