Is there such a thing as a quarter life crisis?

lynzpower

Im considering doing another course I mist be bloody mad! But Im waiting for the premium bonds to pay for it, there is no way I could afford to not work for 4 years!!

I dont regret it per se, but the financial side of it I do. I wish Id saved up for it, and then gone. Mind you by then I would have probably twigged on thatthe course I did isnt really worth the paper its written on . PLus the thing is with it, Ive ended up doing something which I didnt really want to do, just to get the debts paid. Hopefully in time I will be able to find out what I really want to do as my career is in the bog as I just cant get to the office really at the moment

Catseyez

There's definitely such a thing as a quarter-life crisis and I have had one!! Am now 28 and it lasted about two years in total.

The main problem I had was in deciding what to do with my future. I was working in what some people consider to be a 'dream job', yet the reality was far different and financially, I wasn't getting anywhere.

I also felt the urge to travel and see some of the world, so I went away for a few months. I had great fun and I've got the 'travel bug' out of my system (I think!) though I do still hanker after exotic holidays!

Going travelling was as much about getting away from everything and being able to reflect on what I wanted to do, as it was about seeing some of the World.

I'm now settled in my work and have left the 'dream job' behind me. It was the best decision I ever made and I have no regrets. I do still have plans to go to uni and work in social services but one step at a time.

Lady_fuscia: I would say there's no real answer to a quarter-life crisis. But you do have to be honest with yourself and try to establish what it is YOU want out of life. And hardest of all, don't pay any attention to what other people THINK you should do - it's not their life. Happiness counts for more than anything in my opinion. Good luck! x

Kevicho

I dont think courses are a bad thing, but university is too long and also really an excuse for life, so if its education you are after, 9 times out of 10 thats not going to be the main concern of the people around you

Dead_Eye_Jones

well im around that age, and I agree with what my dear ol' Pop always says; life is getting much more complicated. For him it was a case of leave school at 16, train for job, do job for 40 years, get married n raise kids inbetween. No probs.

These days yep I agree there are very mixed messages, many forced upon us thanks to the media and advertising and big budgets. 1st off realise that much of the source of the 'live life now' chool of thought originates from people wanting your money. There is a clear message being hammered into us through commercial sources that we must do this, have that, etc or we are failures.

Tke control of your life and realise what is really important. Several myths need to be exploded. You dont need any material goods to be complete, sure luxury items are nice, but you dont need them. You dont have to travel the world to have lived. Ive been here and there and the key memories always come from experiences with people. And contrary to the latest round of rum adverts, you dont have to drink to have fun!

You DO NOT need to spend money to LIVE. If you think it is the case you are a victim of modern marketing. Maybe this is a lesson you only learn by the time you are 25, and those debts are already in place by that time. You cant buy friendship. In 50 years time you wont care about whether you wore M&S or Prada, you'll just remember the friends you spent you time with.

Ive always been a saver, and of course I treat myself to things, but I realise what I can afford and dont throw money aways. Have I 'lived' any less than my 'care free' friends - not at all!

Take it easy peeps.

dudleyboy

A good idea for a thread, lady_fuschia! I've recently turned 28 and advise throughout my 20s has been contradictory at best: "travel the world / live for today while you're still young and have no responsibility" while simultaneously "invest in your future with education, savings, pension", "get on the property ladder" and "try to stay out of debt".

How on earth do you travel the world AND make monthly mortgage repayments? How do you live just for today AND invest in the future??

It's impossible... unless you took every correct turning on the path at every junction you encountered... or you have wealthy parents to help you out... because I'm sure it's almost impossible to do that between the age of 20 and 30... and if "young people" do it, no wonder so many of us are in debt or burnt out!

I think it's important that when listening to "advise" from others, we learn to distinguish between their wisdom and their regrets.

Essentially, I think everyone needs to do what they feel is best for them and do it for their own reasons. Then whatever one decides... it's the right decision.

PeachPickle

I'm 26 now, and have finally gotten on track( I think!). I went to uni, and looking back I don't really know *why*. There was the school pressure, friends pressure, family pressure (first in the family and all that) but I wasn't actually that bothered. I had a brilliant first year, then everything went completely wrong in the second (people dying all around, breaking bones, operations) and I had to drop out. Then I ran down my path to debt and spent 3 years berating myself for being a failure. Then I applied randomly for a job I didn't know anything about, turns out I love it and am good at it and I'm now studying in relation to that. Uni - PAH!

Of course, now all my friends are buying houses and I'm back home with the parents and there's a whole new kind of pressure...

Peppa_Pig_5

Hi lady fuschia, I haven't posted on here for a while, not been as committed as I should be. But hoping to get back on track very soon. Your post was so inspiring that I wanted to add my point of view. I was only saying to my sister in law today that if I had known what I know now at 20 then I wouldn't have kept getting into debt. I would have paid off my mortgage as soon as possible and overpaid as much as I could. I am 34 today and have enjoyed my life, but it would be lovely to have some savings and some financial security. I do not regret all the holidays we had before the children came along as they are lovely memories that I can treasure. I think that has been my downfall as far as debt goes, we love our time away together as a couple and as a family, and it has not been cheap.

Enough of this rambling and back to your discussion, I think you need to live life to the full whatever age you are, but it is getting the balance right and saving a bit too.

Peppa
x

Dr.Lou

Glad I'm not the only one with this confusion then! Don't regret going to uni, I did enjoy my course and the subject, and met loads of great people...but don't feel like I have a particular 'calling' in life. I wish I did, most of my friends seem to and I don't think they entirely understand yet that some people don't.

I think I'd rather live a simple, happy life with my family and sacrifice some of the so called 'luxury' items in order to gain a little bit of financial security, than have fancy cars, big houses, posh TV's but be stressed out getting them all and never having the time to spend with those I care for. But in this day and age it seems that to admit this is difficult.

ti1980

This is a great thread and so relevant to a lot of DFWs.

Even being a DFW, I still have quite a carefree attitude towards money, I don't spend a lot in some areas then I spend more than I should in others.

I went to Uni and while I don't regret the experience, as I made a lot of good friends there that I still hope to be in touch with when I'm much much older, sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I had never gone.

Most of my friends who never went to Uni are on higher salaries than those who went. People say that your wages will go up more rapidly if you have Uni qualifications but with my friends that hasnt turned out to be the case at all.
A lot of people end up taking jobs that has nothing to do with their qualifications just to pay the bills as they find that they can't get jobs in what they studied. Uni paints a rosy picture of how life is with qualifications but in reality things are often different.

I decided a while ago that I wasn't going to let my debt rule my head. I used to have sleepless nights about it but the way I see it now is that I will probably be in debt for the next 30 years so I might as well get used to it.

Ali-OK

I think nowadays (ooh I sound old..well I'm late 30's!!) yes, there's much more wanting and having everything than when I was younger and so many more items to want/have.

I bought a house at 18 and got the preverbial "you want a new sofa, we had orange boxes to sit on when we first got a house" from my parents. Took it on board and it took several years to furnish the house - table and chairs didn't exist for 4 years, portable tv and little table to put it on borrowed from parents (and had to give back!), rack not wardrobes for a few years too.

Now, new home owners seem to want (and often get) everything as soon as they move in - peer pressure and what's seen as the norm.

Eating out was not a common occurrence, but a treat - mobiles weren't around, video machines were like £600 a go, computers weren't in the home (well ZX Spectrum maybe!), nor microwaves, dishwashers, tumble dryers and items like fridges/tv's/washing machines/hoovers lasted 10-15 years, not 5 maximum if you're lucky!

All that stuff is "the norm" now and certainly I didn't feel the pressure of friends/colleagues/neighbours to have everything or what I had got, wasn't a talking point if it wasn't new.

Plus the Uni debts that so many are now accummulating - it's no wonder people in their 20's get in this position.

And it's getting worse - parents never bought cars for kids, nor helped with deposits for a house - and now so many do or their child can't have a car or get on the housing ladder.

I do think we have to work harder, faster than 20 years ago and that has translated into "I deserve it" and the situation that we're now in.

Whilst I'm teaching my 5 year DS about money, I've no doubt he'll be in a minority of save first, spend later when he reaches adulthood, if he chooses to follow MSE ways. We'll have to wait and see on that front!