Is there such a thing as a quarter life crisis?

annie-c

I don't have very much more to add than others, but thought I could share a few thoughts from my 'third-life' crisis (I am in my 30s and on a steep learning curve with money!)

I think that the biggest lesson I have learned is that it is important to PLAN - to think hard and make decisions about what I want from life and, consequently, how I'll need to manage my money in order to do that. I've learned that it doesn't matter what others think I should or shouldn't do - I'm the one that has to live with the consequences and as long as I realise that and am prepared to deal in an adult way with the consequences of my behaviour then I can choose to do whatever I want with my money.

Since starting work about 12 years ago, I have gone through phases with money. After a relatively strapped-for-cash childhood, I had a little 'wahey' time where I spent everything on CDs and clothes etc -I didn't join a pension scheme for a couple of years, which hasn't done me too much harm, but was an unwise choice, in retrospect. Then I got into debt and spent a miserable few years losing giant chunks of my earnings on penalty charges and interest rates. Now I'm on a more even keel and have a mortgage and pension and a decent career ahead of me. At this stage in my life I wish I had been a bit more responsible earlier because I am a bit 'behind' other friends etc who already have paid off good chunks of their mortgages and who have bigger cars, better holidays as a consequence. But I still have a reasonable amount of control over my future, and time to build up a pension fund, so I am choosing to make a balance between starting a savings accounts and putting money into 'real' (value-adding) structural home improvements rather than expensive cosmetic decorating etc. And at the same time I am setting aside a reasonable amount of cash to take a nice holiday each year, because I want to enjoy life now as well as preparing for the fuure.

MinnieSpender

When I hit my "quarter-life" crisis I decided to do what I'd always wanted to do - I went to university. I can honestly say this was the best experience of my life and the fact that I was a few years older, I threw myself into the study side. Sure, I left in debt, but I'll carry that experience with me throughout my life and I consider it the gift (to myself) that just keeps giving. Not financially, but there is more to life! I paid off my debts but then following an illness in my 30s, found myself back in debt.

I'm back at "school" again - while working full-time - because I fancied a change of work. My "third-life" crisis perhaps? Eventually it will all pay off, but it's uphill at the moment.

I suppose I can only say that crisis can hit at any age. I'm particularly looking forward to the one arriving at around 50! I've come to the conclusion that I may never be wealthy in financial terms, but I'll never be bored either. I may never have the "normal" stuff like my own home and a family, but I don't necessarily think of that being a bad thing. It's just a different way of experiencing life.

lady_fuschia

Its really re-assuring to hear that I'm not the only one that feels confused by conflicting demands and expectations. Sometimes I can't even tell which "need to do"s are things I want and which are things I just feel like I should do! I guess its the same at any age, but it can be so difficult to get a balance between being sensible, and being so sensible that you don't get to enjoy life.

Kevicho

lynzpower wrote:

I certainly regret going to uni, what a waste of money.

Thats is my viewpoint and I couldnt agree more, education, especially university is becomming so expensive to the point were only the rich will be able to afford it.

Its a new capitalist trap, the poor will be straddled with debts for years to come, compound interest working against them, and also portions of the wages taken away to repay it.

Also take into account that there arent that many well paid jobs available in the first place.
Plus employers want experience as well mean its uphill struggle to get the job & paycheck that you think you deserve after getting the degree.

Ember999

Things have changed for the twenty-somethings nowadays. I see the pressure on them all around me. When I hit 18 all I was expected to do was get married, get a mortgage and have a baby, and yes, I did that, in that order bang on my 18th birthday. The fact that I was divorced by my 21st birthday says a lot about my choice in men back then LOL :rotfl: But, I was back married again by the age of 23 - no more kids though, been there, done that!

I didn't go on my first flight to anywhere until my 30th birthday. My entire 20's were spent in the 15% interest era and we lived pretty much hand-to-mouth just to get by. We didn't get into debt but we had no spare money. When I was a teenager growing up, thats what girls did where I came from. You got married and had a baby - luckily I came from an area where you got married before having a baby

My first flight anywhere, as I said earlier was to California...and I went mental. First time I had left this country, first time I had money to blow. I blew £3,500 in 3 weeks on having fun! flitting between Los Angeles and San Francisco - I showed them how the English have fun big style......

I never wanted to or saw the need to waste money or time going to University, non of my friends did either. That was for intellectuals who weren't interested in the delights of men. Back then (not that long ago really, but things have changed so much since then!) girls were either into marrying or having a career, few seemed to do both. Women today are pressured into doing it all - the relationship, the university, the career, the 2.5 kids etc. and they are knackered and miserable with stress a lot of them. I don't know how or why they do it.

I haven't done too bad out of not going to university - I now own 2 homes, (small mortgage on one) have every technological advance a girl could want and have been happily married 19 years. I can travel where I like and buy what I like - I do have a 'life crisis' every ten years though....my last one entailed a day trip to Scotland which started a love affair that has lasted 5 years and resulted in us buying a home in Scotland. So if you don't go to university, life can still be fun and good. But you get a 'life crisis' whoever you are and where you are - constantly searching for answers about life and where we are going with it is part of human nature. It's what makes us tick and keeps us getting up in a morning.

JAMIEDODGER

inspiring ember, thanks for sharing your story!

lynzpower

Kevicho wrote:

Thats is my viewpoint and I couldnt agree more, education, especially university is becomming so expensive to the point were only the rich will be able to afford it.

Its a new capitalist trap, the poor will be straddled with debts for years to come, compound interest working against them, and also portions of the wages taken away to repay it.

Also take into account that there arent that many well paid jobs available in the first place.
Plus employers want experience as well mean its uphill struggle to get the job & paycheck that you think you deserve after getting the degree.

you are not wrong there Kev.

The funny thing is that my part time job was at tescos while I was at college, and in the summer hols before I started in uni ( ooh god that was ten years ago now) I was made a supervisor for the summer. My manager asked to to sack off uni to work there full time I was like :rotfl: youve gotta be joking. Wish I had now, I certiainly woudlnt have had most of the debt and Ive even considered applying to do that job again now, but I cant as it wont pay enough for me to service the debt

Kevicho

lynzpower wrote:

you are not wrong there Kev.

The funny thing is that my part time job was at tescos while I was at college, and in the summer hols before I started in uni ( ooh god that was ten years ago now) I was made a supervisor for the summer. My manager asked to to sack off uni to work there full time I was like :rotfl: youve gotta be joking. Wish I had now, I certiainly woudlnt have had most of the debt and Ive even considered applying to do that job again now, but I cant as it wont pay enough for me to service the debt

Am i ever wrong

We cant change the past though, ive given up on regrets, for me uni was a waste of time, i learned very little, wasted 2 years of income and got absolutely trashed most nights

So i suppose it wasnt that bad then

lynzpower

I dont regret it that much in all fairness, at least I wasnt stung for fees!! :eek: God knows how those younger than me cope with that much debt- its literally hairraising

well, on the sunny side only 6 more months of paying back the student loan. in which case it will be about 10 years since taking it out.

lady_fuschia

I dunno, sometimes I think uni was a waste of time- it certainly wasn't worth the money, considering I don't earn much more than I would if I hadn't gone. But then again, if I hadn't gone there's a lot of good friends I would never have met, I probably would never have met my OH, there's a lot of good things that came out of it, its just that education wasn't one of them! If I could turn back the clock I think I would still go.