unwritten law!!!!!!

jennyo

Before reading through the thread I was with Bizzyizzy on this one, I too thought of it as an unwritten rule, but obviously it varies from family to family.
Infact I would even go one further once they are working full time,they would get less for Christmas. My adult children I feel would feel obliged to return the favour by spending as much on us.

maman

Up until last year, we had always bought a Christmas sack full of gifts for our 2 DDs as well as our two DGDs for much the same reason as other posters have said - they're still our children. Fortunately cost isn't an issue. Last year (at DD1's suggestion) we stopped buying for the DDs because there is a tendency to buy 'stuff'. Both girls have birthdays close to Christmas so we treat them then or go shopping with them during the year and pick up bill or give them currency to go on holiday etc etc

What I'm trying to say is there are lots of things bought at this time of the year which can be a pointless waste of money. I don't mean to sound like Scrooge but whoever you choose to buy for make sure it's not 'stuff'.

laurarobby

i agree its just the way it is, im 21 and my ds is 14months now last year my mum told me that it would be the last xmas that i get a big (expentive) present as she would rather spend the money on DS. i knew that it would happen as its happened with her and my aunty, i dont mind she has bought us (me & oh) presents still but just doesnt spend as much.

our present spend went down once we reached 18 anyways as we was adult fair enough i would rather my folks keep it for them selfs!

JayneC

Hi,

Families eh?

Agree Christmas is really difficult and we tend to have different 'rules' for my side of family and OH side of family. we always buy for my brother and wife and his 2 kids, OH has 2 brothers and 2 sisters we all apart from 1 sister have kids and decided when the kids were little that we would stop buying for adults and have a 'draw' to buy for the kids. WE had 10 between us (5 are ours!!) so each couple would 'draw' 2 kids to buy for with a higher budget, so they would get one decent present rather than several 'cheap' ones. This worked ok although having a large family meant we often struggled at Christmsa and there were actually times we spent more on the other 2 kids per child than our own to keep up with the 'deal'. we never made an issue just got on with it and when the kids turned 18 they stopped being included (with 2 of ours being the eldest 2). However last year OH 2 sisters decided they were struggling with the recession and they wouldn't be doing the draw but would still buy for the 'little ones' which were supposedly my youngest (11) and DGS (1st xmas) however my 11 YO was compltely missed out and don't think it's too much of a coincidence that the youngest of the other kids turned 18 this year - or that just me being bitter . Anyway I have to say I was distinctly unimpressed especially as we'd really struggled and already feel sorry for my youngest - he's 6 years younger than the next youngest of mine and all the cousins and we moved away when he was 4 so feel he's missed out on a lot growing up and now he's just being ignored.

Sorry to have a whinge feeling a bit sorry for myself!!

We just try to make things nice for him here.

Re the kids I still buy DD same as her siblings even though she has a little one but have reduced amount per person to include him and also DD1's husband and have actually reduced budget quite substantially this year anyway cos I'm sick of all the 'stuff' they accumulate. I'm trying to 'do' things instead.

Anyway rant over:D

emmell

I still treat my son at christmas (and birthday) exactly as I always have and he's 26. I have never cut him down because, especially now he's older, he only costs money at christmas and his birthday.
ML.

cat4772

It's never bothered me how much my parents spend on me (and my husband), or my Brother (and his girlfriend) or my sister (her husband and their two children); however I did think that they budgeted and spent about £100 per family unit.

This year we have our daughter (who'll be 8 1/2 months) and I'd suggested my parents get her a trike (£60) and suggested a couple of luxuries at £20 for me and my husband. I saw them this afternoon and I'm really :eek::o that they've spent far more than £40 on me and my husband which kinda blows my amount per family unit out the window... (and I don't know that I like it):o:o

Zoelikesjam

every year as i was growing up i got about a £100worth of pressies off my mum and step dad and another £100 offa my daddy. When i had my first DD it decreased slightly on my dads side, but not mums. When i had DS nothing really changed! When i had my DD2 dad sat me down and said to me you know you wont get as much for xmas now dont you?!
My mum and step dad now buy us a joint present.
I am totally fine with this! Christmas is all about the children! Without children, christmas isnt magical, and too be honest if mum and dad still wanted to spend that sort of money ontop of buying my little ones stuff i would ask for cash and then put it towards clothes/dance classes etc.
Dad now spends about £30 on me and hubby, plus a few little stocking fillers and the rest on the kids.
Mum buys us a joint pressie, this year we have all had a wii to enjoy, last year we had flights to australia to visit them! year before we had tickets to thepantomine.