unwritten law!!!!!!

Saving_spree

With a big family comes a big cost.

If I were you I would first think of my grand children and then my children.
Would look at in-expensive ideas for my children (whether they are my own or step)

Zazen999

Christmas is for kids, present-wise. I don't have any, but have a SD and 2 nieces. I'd be horrified if anyone thought I expected the same amount of money spent on me as on the kids. Adults exchange token pressies but it's mainly the kids. Isn't that part of growing up? As soon as there is a next generation in the family, they become the focus.

jetty

My mum and dad spend the same amount on everyone - grandkids, us and partners, whereas my mil spends the most on my partner and less on me and the kids. I think it's just different families traditions and there are no unwritten laws, just laws made amongst different families. I think you should talk to everyone and see how they feel about it all

sylphraven

My Mom has limited funds so spends a little more on the grandkids (as she believes its all about the children) than on us (supposedly) more understanding adults, plus my little sister gets a little extra as she lives at home and hasnt an OH to treat her.

My MIL spends the same amount on everyone, myself, her children and her grand children.

Different famillies, different rituals, I hope you get a compromise going with your OH

dazzle21

There is an unwritten rule in our family that parents get just a token gift, and the children get the main gifts. If we have a bit extra money or someone has had a very tough year then we flex this a bit, i.e. a bottle of wine might become a small (homemade!) hamper. Otherwise it gets silly!

Dave101t

why do you HAVE to buy them anything, a token voucher is all i would expect, as a child or adult. i wasnt disappointed.

JMW77

Christmas presents are just for kids ,in our immediate family its just buy for the kids ,don't adults buy for themselves anything they want ,grandparents many of them living on pensions can do without the pressure ,my grandma has about 10 grandchildren and about 12 great grandchildren she buys for all of us and we all wish she would just buy for the great grandchildren instead of worrying about the money.

craftygranny

I have 5 children ( ages range from 18 to 28 ) and 5 grandchildren ( aged between 1 and 8 )plus 2 of them have a partner and i spend £100 each on them all. Reason being they are my children i chose to have them so why not . My grandchildren get lots of money spent on them by everyone my children only get from us and each other. The grandchildren don't miss out and they love to see their parents get something too.
I also buy for my sons ex partner as she is still the mother of my grandsons and she has a child from her new relationship and we spend £100 on her too my son and his new partner buy for both of them too.

jetty

craftygranny wrote: »

I have 5 children ( ages range from 18 to 28 ) and 5 grandchildren ( aged between 1 and 8 )plus 2 of them have a partner and i spend £100 each on them all. Reason being they are my children i chose to have them so why not . My grandchildren get lots of money spent on them by everyone my children only get from us and each other. The grandchildren don't miss out and they love to see their parents get something too.
I also buy for my sons ex partner as she is still the mother of my grandsons and she has a child from her new relationship and we spend £100 on her too my son and his new partner buy for both of them too.

That's so nice It's horrible for children when their parents relationships break down but makes it so much easier when people are grown up about it and still get on

Caroline73_2

My mum and step dad have a family budget.

Me and my 2 step sisters are married with two children each. My mum spends £100 on each family. It doesn't mean £25 each as the children will usually get more than the parents.

My brother lives with his GF, they have no children so get £100 spent between the two of them. When they have a child, the £100 will get split 3 ways.