grandchildren living with you

evermore

i was replying to catch22
not the situation catch 22

Errata

evermore wrote: »

i was replying to catch22
not the situation catch 22

My apologies, I misread.

evermore

no problem Errata.
i dont really want to get s s involved bcause the reasons they live with us are comlex and the children arent at risk with their mum it just i feel they are better off living with us and they both want to.

Savvy_Sue

Just a thought, but when I get my Child Benefit notifications there's always been a bit about informing them if the child is no longer living with you. And if her other benefits are being paid on the basis that she has 3 children living with her, I am not sure that your daughter isn't committing benefit fraud. Is she aware of that?

evermore

thanks for pointing this out,

sheeps68

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Just a thought, but when I get my Child Benefit notifications there's always been a bit about informing them if the child is no longer living with you. And if her other benefits are being paid on the basis that she has 3 children living with her, I am not sure that your daughter isn't committing benefit fraud. Is she aware of that?

Was about to say the same. Maybe you can at least use the argument of keeping daughter out of trouble for wrongly claiming the child benefits. Do you get residence payment for the children. This may be possible but think you need to assessed as family carer via SS. They are not that bad honest, as you've come to a amicable safe arrangement for the children regardless of reasons.

sagalout1954

I was about to mention the benefit fraud angle, it seems a distinct possibility that she may well be making fraudulant claims based on 3 children 'at home' ........2 of whom actually aren't! (But I hope not for her sake.)

However, sounds like Evermore still has (and wants to maintain) a decent relationship with her daughter. I wonder if it might be possible to arrange a joint shopping trip to the supermarket, buying all the food purely for the 2 kids (and a bit for the youngest one), plus a few items of clothing, so that daughter can get a better picture of the actual costs involved?

Perhaps she simply doesn't appreciate that you've had to tighten your belts in order to support your grandchildren and, although happy to do that you now need her to tighten hers a bit too and give you a few quid more each week.

The bigger they get, the more expensive it gets. You'll have to tackle it Evermore, carefully I would say.

craftygranny

my grandaughter is 4 and has lived with me since birth for much the same reasons. Her mum claimed the benefits for the first 12 months then moved away with yet another unsuitable b/f and left her behind and carried on claiming.
I found out from the health visitor i could apply for the child benefit and tax credits without even telling her mum. Obviously her money went down and she wasn't happy but when she threatened to take her away i had the backing of the health visitor and applied succesfully for a residency order. So nothing she could do anyway as she didn't even bother to turn up at court.
If you push things too far you may be forced to do similar and risk offending your daughter . In my case i didn't care the kids welfare came first but i was 99 % certain i would win. Otherwise i may have kept quiet for their sake but you do start to feel resentful towards your daughter i did. I had the children and she spent their money on dubious guys who would beat her up and leave her with nothing.

Good luck i hope evrything goes well . Your grandchildren are very lucky to have you.

Chicco

I had my grandchilden living with me for about 6 months, you are entiltled to the child benifit for the children, plus you are also entileted to family tax credit, It took me ages to find this out and no one tells you.. you can go to welfare rights officer and he will do a benfit check to see what your entitled to, hope that helps you a little

Shelldean

From the other side of the coin, I was left my my grandparents when my Mum had a better offer... a bloke wanted her to move in with him and I wasn't part of the deal. Mum did sign the CB over to Nan, and paid her something, not a lot tho She worked so wasn't on benefits and paid once a mth when she visited us ( my sis was also left with granparents)
As we'd always lived with Nan life continued as normal except Mum wasn't there. Looking back it was the BEST and probably the only thing Mum ever did for me. I was brought up with more love and care than I ever needed and whilst we never had loads I don't think I ever missed out. My Nan was my world I say was because she passed 2 yrs ago. My Nan supported me thru everything, She was my emotional, my physical and my finanical support. As for my Mum I send her cards for birthday and xmas ( i refuse mothers day) and thats the ony contact I have with her now.


Edited to add, I'm now 40 so this was a few yrs ago. To the OP if you can cope then please try to, as the rewards in terms of relationship with your grandchildren will be worth it