Guest wants to bring boyfriend

Sarahsaver

They should not have asked unless the invite were for them 'plus one' in which case no need to ask IYSWIM. People have little concept of etiquette nowadays. someone asked me if their neighbour, who i do not even KNOW could tag along to our wedding!!!

superfran_uk

Sarahsaver wrote: »

someone asked me if their neighbour, who i do not even KNOW could tag along to our wedding!!!

I assume your response was "Sure, the more the merrier! Let's throw it open to anyone!" :rotfl:

joolesw1972

It's a difficult one, we decided early on that we were only going to invite people that we knew, however we've changed our minds a little since then as we are inviting three friends from different parts of the country who may not know anyone else there except us and for those people we are going to do a plus one.

Charliezoo

I wouldn't be offended if my partner wasn't invited but would personally turn down an invite to a wedding that wasn't a +1. This is simply because guests often only know the bride and/or groom at the wedding and rarely get to say more than 'congratulations' to them the whole night.

I would feel very uncomfortable knowing that I might end up spending most of the night on my own which realistically could happen as I'm not really confident enough to approach people I don't know and striking up converstaion.

Rosie75

I still haven't fully made my mind up about this, but think that the numbers issue will take things out of our hands when we speak to the venue next week to check what the limit is. This guest does have a good friend who lives near her and who is also invited to the evening do. They could easily travel together, so being on her own (or just with her children) isn't an issue. And she will know several other people there. I'm also worried that, if we tell her she can bring her boyfriend, this other friend will also want to bring someone.

Charliezoo

In that case I would be totally honest with her and explain that you just can't go over on the guest numbers. I'm sure she'll understand if you tell her why. At least she should still have a good time if she knows other people there.

superfran_uk

I've been to a "wedding" which was strictly no guests as there was a very small limit. I didn't know anyone but I still had a great night, but then it was a flamboyant gay wedding with a drag queen...so difficult not to have fun!

pinkie_pie

When I got married, we specifically said for single/'dating' guests they could bring a partner as in our minds we felt this would make our guests more comfortable.

When I was chief bridesmaid at my own chief bridesmaids wedding recently, I didn't get a +one! (obviously split up with husband lol)

I really struggled with this, as my children were expected to attend - and as there was only the wedding party that I knew, I had noone to watch over my two littlies during the day (who are the bride and grooms godchildren). When I eventually mentioned this to the bride (I had decided to follow etiquette and not ask, but could not see a way around it) she agreed I could bring someone, but I felt it was a bit begrudgingly although I may have just been being sensitive. I gave up in the end and went by myself, with no children, and I do feel a bit saddened as my children missed out on their godparents wedding (and there were 100s of children there) which would have been avoided had initially a +one been offered.

I'm not saying I hold it against her, as the bride she had every right to pick her guests and such. But a little consideration would have really, really helped in that situation.

raspabarbas

I'm having a similar dilemma about two of our guests. One is a friend of my FH who lives in Panama and wants to invite his gf who lives in Singapore, who neither of us have met, because it would be 'easier' for them to meet up at our wedding before going on holiday together. Not keen!

The other is one of my BMs who wants to bring her boyfriend. I'm only having two BMs, my two best buds (twin sisters), they both live down in London so I hardly see them anymore and I've never met the bf. My MoH doesn't have a bf and the only person he would know would be the two of them, and until the party wouldn't be able to spend that much time with her. I've told her I'd rather he didn't come.

Unreasonable?

flea72

raspabarbas wrote: »

The other is one of my BMs who wants to bring her boyfriend. I'm only having two BMs, my two best buds (twin sisters), they both live down in London so I hardly see them anymore and I've never met the bf.

how well acquainted is your OH with your BMs, who you rarely see, seeing as they are playing a really big part in your day?

also, im sure if your friend was getting married next week, and thus far you havent met their OH (due to them living in london), you would still go to the wedding - thats what happens when people dont live near each other, but have little idea, or interest in what goes on in each others lives. perhaps your friend saw this as a chance for you all to meet - weddings are social occasions

F