Guest wants to bring boyfriend

Rosie75

Just wanted to get your thoughts on this.
We invited a friend of my fiance's to the evening part of our wedding, along with her children. She has RSVP'd saying they'd love to come, and asking if she could bring her boyfriend. We've not met her boyfriend (and in fact, didn't know she was seeing anyone), but the main issue is that we are really restricted with space. We are going to have more evening guests than we expected anyway (mainly because no one has declined invitations) and this is already stressing me out, without having to accommodate an additional person as well.
What should we do? On the one hand I think one person can't really make that much difference, but I also personally can't imagine asking a bride if I could bring a guest to a wedding if the invitatation didn't specify this (this person will know several of the other guests, so won't really be on her own). We also deliberately planned a small-scale wedding (from which we had to exclude some of our own family and friends), so the idea of having someone we don't know there doesn't seem right. But, on the other hand, I don't want to offend this guest and don't relish the prospect of saying no to her request.

Mme.Hibou

Ha ha ha, I was going to start a thread about the very same thing. My friend has no children and would have to make her way an hour on her own (or catch a lift with one of our other friends), but we're only having 60 people there and don't fancy inviting someone who "isn't a real boyfriend" to my wedding whom I've never even met.

I'm just going to tell her no.

Dr_DiNg_DoNg

Say he can come to the evening , but due to the venue restricting the amount of covers in the day you cant accommodate any extra.

madmumof2

I personally wouldn't invite people we didn't know well to the actual wedding, but for the evening I would.

Would you have to pay extra for their meal? Or change seating plans or anything?

If not I would let them come to avoid any bad feeling. If you do have to shell out more money or effort I would just explain that to her, maybe she'll offer to pay the extra?

I understand you don't know them though, and it is your wedding, for one day only. If you're not happy with someone being there it's your decision,

talulahbeige_2

Explain to her that you have a limit to numbers and you are currently at that limit but if anyone drops out then you will let her know.

Rosie75

Thanks for the replies. This guest is only invited to the evening reception, not the day so I wouldn't need to redo seating plans. It would just mean factoring in another person for the drinks and buffet costs, which I'm not bothered about at all. The issue is really space (we're already over the numbers the venue are expecting) and the fact that we wanted a small, intimate wedding, just with people we know well.
To add to the guilt, I've just opened a lovely card from my OH's aunt in Ireland (we hadn't invited any of that side of the family), with 20 euros inside as a present. I just don't feel comfortable not having invited other friends, and some actual family members, and then having someone we don't know there, even if it is just for the evening.

beverleyhills

She may feel uncomfortable without an adult partner.

butterfly2001

If it is the additional cost just dont add on to that theres always food left over any how. I think beverly is right about wanting an adult partner. I know someone who was really offended because they couldnt have their partner at the evening do with them

cte1111

I think you should say he can come. What difference does one more person make?

ETA: Please don't feel guilty about the gift from your auntie. I'm sure she would be upset if she thought her gift had made you feel guilty that you hadn't invited them. People want to wish you well, not cause stress and upset to you, so try and relax and enjoy your day.

flea72

i would let them come - even though everyone has accepted your invitations, that doesnt mean come the day, there wont be people dropping out due to illness, etc.

tbh, ive always worded invites so they include a plus one. big parties can be awful for singletons, so giving them the option to bring an adult for company, is the polite thing to do. i know i wouldnt want to walk into a room on my own, even if i had kids in tow

Rosie75

Thanks for the replies - they have been really helpful. I think I will just say that he can come.