advice needed about schools

Rachel83

I definatly think the pull ups might be the best way to go, not sure about the showering situation but if she's sore I guess it would be better than having dried urine all over you all day. I'm they would be better for the school too as they don't have to worry about her sitting on soft furnishings, so not only have to be worrying about keeping her clean and dry but also keeping everywhere else clean so the other children arn't effected by it too much.

My friends sister used to wet herself and soil herself right up to the age of 15 maybe even does it now, she also used to hide her soiled pants in alsorts of strange places. I guess she just got used to doing it, nothing was ever found wrong with her. The only difference was she used to also wet in her sleep. She was bullied at school but still went and wet herself daily also walked round wet all day, even in high school I could never understand it, she never took in clean clothes or anything, it was sad tbh.

Torndao01

Hi dbj

I have had the same problem and went a whole year without knowing what was going on. My DD was wetting herself regularly without reason (or so I thought). We have since discovered the same as mrsbez my DD suffers from regular urine infections, lots of tests and scans no real problem. These infections cause her to wee herself and dribble lots. Infections dont always sting a child she may still have one without complaining it hurts. The wee smelling (sweet usually) is a sign. Even if she hasnt had treatment and infection can clear itself up (so this might be why its not shown in a test). When I say regualar infections its once to twice a month. My DD is now on a daily dose of antibiotics. I really think your DD systoms sound just like my DDs. If you want to know anymore just drop me a line. Also if you want to test you DDs wee yourself you can buy the kits for chemists.

Good luck.

LondonDiva

HRV wrote: »

Firstly they can't exclude her from school for wetting (it's discrimination)

At present, the child doesn't have a medical (or otherwise) diagnosis for the condition, that would require 'reasonable' adjustments, so the DDA does not apply.

It also sounds as though the school are going above and beyond what is 'reasonable' and are being proactive and supportive - the DDA does not call for inclusion at all costs, it asks that the school / oranisation take steps to support / include that can be considered 'reasonable' and proportionate.

OP - sorry to digress, but it's really important that if (as it appears) the school are being cooperative and actively looking to see what more they can do to support you & DD, that you don't unintentionally put their backs up with a dodgy interpretation of the law.


I would also second advise to go back to your GP with a diary of the last few weeks so s/he has a beter idea of what's going on. Then you also need to give the details of which referral has been made & where to.

Until the first appointment, the referrer (or your GP once they know about it) is responsible for chasing up the referral. Please make them chase up the hospital & any other referrals made.

Most PCTs will have enuresis clinics (for children who aren't dry yet) the GP can make a referral and again, gentle persistence will be best here.

In the meantime, please urgently invest in a load of pull ups for your daughter and some spare sets in the school - you probably also need to meet with the teacher to give them a chance to raise any concerns etc and to come up with a plan to tackle this together and minimise the impact on your DD and the rest of the class.

Good luck & don't panic - this is more common than you think

Janepig

Sarah-Jane wrote: »

Unless you have given permission to the TA to strip your child and shower them, then she shouldn't be doing it. You can clean up a child and get them dry without stripping her off and attempting to shower her. I would be livid about that tbh.
You need to get a copy of their guidelines on cleansing of children. Have you given permission for your child to be cleaned in this way by a member of staff? If you haven't, then take it further.
If your child was that smelly she should have been cleaned, dried and then you called to either come and shower/wash her yourself so she can return to class, or take her home.
I don't see the need for a TA to strip her completely and try to shower her. You aren't even allowed to offer comfort in the form of hugs etc to children in some schools these days, never mind shower them :eek:

I would also go down the pulls ups route until you have seen the urologist. Although if this is psychological or laziness on her part it could add to the problem

Not entirely sure why you would be "livid" at the school evidently trying to do their best for the child, apparently unaware that she doesn't like showers. And besides, there are other parents who would complain (there was a thread on this previously) at being called into school to change their child - schools can't do right for doing wrong sometimes. I work half an hour's drive away from the school my two are in so it would be a major inconvenience to be called in for a change of underwear. Luckily the school my children go to have no qualms about changing them, and are also more than willing to offer comfort in the form of hugs and kisses and it's lovely to see the affection the staff have for the nursery children.

Jxx

Mips

I find it hard to see how any Teacher/Teaching assistant could get annoyed with a 5y old child who has toilet problems

I can understand your upset and frustration but I am sure your little girl is equally as upset and frustrated as you are about this.

Why does she have a shower phobia? I have to admit my sons would scream blue murder when put in the shower (had to use Shower as no cold water running to bath since the pipe was slashed by the tiler when tiling the walls) and you would think we were killing them.. but after a bit of coaxing and cajoling (and a week of hsyteria) they now love the shower and like getting in it in the morning before Nursery.


Also, your daughter is 5 and in a reception class I presume - there will be 4/5 year olds in the class and going off my daughter, I would find it hard to believe she could be picked on or bullied. I am sure the 4/5 year olds don't bat an eyelid .. or at least I would hope so.

My 4 year old daughter reports things to me matter of factly and if one of her younger brothers wets/poos himself just tells me ... she couldn't care less about it, and certainly isn't mean to them

Janepig

Dippychick wrote: »

Why does she have a shower phobia? I have to admit my sons would scream blue murder when put in the shower (had to use Shower as no cold water running to bath since the pipe was slashed by the tiler when tiling the walls) and you would think we were killing them.. but after a bit of coaxing and cajoling (and a week of hsyteria) they now love the shower and like getting in it in the morning before Nursery.


Also, your daughter is 5 and in a reception class I presume - there will be 4/5 year olds in the class and going off my daughter, I would find it hard to believe she could be picked on or bullied. I am sure the 4/5 year olds don't bat an eyelid .. or at least I would hope so.

My 4 year old daughter reports things to me matter of factly and if one of her younger brothers wets/poos himself just tells me ... she couldn't care less about it, and certainly isn't mean to them

I wondered about the shower too. I remember DS's first shower, when we were on holiday when he was about 18 months. He screamed the place down and I have a hilarious picture of him squashed up against the glass* (he was in the shower with DH). He loves to have a shower now, it was just that he was little and it was a strange experience for him.

DD and DS are just as you describe though Dippy - when someone has peed, pooed, been sick, etc... in school during the day, it's sometimes reported back, but never in a nasty way. It's just "news".

Jxx

* I realise this makes me sound terribly cruel .

Mips

Janepig wrote: »

I wondered about the shower too. I remember DS's first shower, when we were on holiday when he was about 18 months. He screamed the place down and I have a hilarious picture of him squashed up against the glass* (he was in the shower with DH). He loves to have a shower now, it was just that he was little and it was a strange experience for him.

DD and DS are just as you describe though Dippy - when someone has peed, pooed, been sick, etc... in school during the day, it's sometimes reported back, but never in a nasty way. It's just "news".

Jxx

* I realise this makes me sound terribly cruel .

Awww bless him

But little ones at that age aren't mean - well none I have come across. Pooing/weeing is just something that happens..


.. now 10/11 year olds.. well that would be a different story :eek: