Desperately need help

CSA_Help

Maybe you should get another job then if your struggling to pay bills now as the money you get is for the child .Stop going out as much then you won't have babysitters to pay and have your friends round .Sorry to sound harsh but that's what other parents do

DX2

pd001 wrote: »

imho...it's a wind up!
The original post has everything in it that none of us want to hear. And I do mean just about everything.
Gotta be a wind up......surely?

I don't get that impression you would be surprised...

CSA_Help wrote: »

Maybe you should get a job then if your struggling to pay bills now as the money you get is for the child .Stop going out as much then you won't have babysitters to pay and have your friends round .Sorry to sound harsh but that's what other parents do

I take it you missed the part where she stated she worked all week

CSA_Help

I take it you missed the part where she stated she worked all week [/QUOTE]

Ammended lol well spotted

Fridge3

Desperatemum wrote: »

I split with my ex 7 years ago and things were fine, he saw his daughter regularly and paid maintenance towards her each month too. 5 years ago he met someone else and had another child. This wasn't an issue at first as he still saw his daughter regularly and still paid me every month.

The problem started last year when he separated from his partner and told me he would have to reduce my payments in order to support his other daughter. Naturally I was annoyed at this so turned to CSA to support me. They did just that and as a result I still carried on getting my money. Turns out his ex didn't have a claim in herself so she didn't count. It now turns out that his other ex has put in a claim too and that's where I have a huge problem. While things have been good since November, my money is about to be cut and I find that very unfair.

Another problem I am having is when he actually sees our daughter. Before, he would have her on a weekend so I could go out with my friends but now he tells me he is working 2 jobs, including working all weekend so he can give money to his other child and can only see my child through the week. The money I will soon be getting doesn't cover babysitting costs so it means I can't see my friends as much. Again, this is very unfair because he can do whatever he wants at a weekend and I have to suffer.
I am so angry right now that I told him if he doesn't see his daughter on a weekend then he doesn't see her at all. I don't care that he is working because like I say, his other daughter is not my concern. I have a responsibility to my child and shouldn't be taking payment cuts just to suit him.

I wondered if anyone could offer me some advice on how I could get back to the amount of money I was getting from him before all this started. Without it I can consider my life almost over and my social life totally out of the window. I just feel like I'm about to lose my boyfriend because while he is out with friends on a weekend, I'm sat at home doing my ex's job and babysitting.

Is there really any justice out there because I certainly can't see any?

In view of a new CSA payment to ex number 2, I would have thought it entirely fair your ex's means were re evaluated and the payments adjusted according to his new situation.

Sounds to me like your ex is trying to do the right thing by both his ex's children. If he now has 2 CSA payments to make, why do you think yours should have priority over the other.

Using your daughter as a pawn to blackmail the ex is a slippery slope. Imagine how hard you work all week to and how you look forward to your social life, then consider the situation with your ex who does the same and then, er works at the weekend as well. He should not be funding your social life.

As I said it sounds like he's been more than fair, you went to CSA for support and they are doing just that, along with many other cases, one of which happens to impact on your situation.

Perhaps when you reflect on your post you'll realise it's not actually your ex's job to babysit (I assume he's not paid for it).

To answer you question, it would appear there is some justice out there, you just need help in seeing it. As the responsible parent you claim to be I'm sure the social life is a small sacrifice to make and has the added bonus of allowing you more quality time with your daughter.

frugallass

Desperatemum wrote: »

the weekend was the only time I could really get out and let my hair down.

My boyfriend is on the verge of being made redundant and unless he finds another job it means I have to support the family. I have a mortgage, a car to run and bills. I can't do all of that and support 2 children with the money I will be getting which is why I thought my ex would pay more to support me through these tough times.

The money he used to pay went some way to paying the bills. I offered to have my CSA case closed and go back to how things were but my ex said if I did that he would only pay the amount CSA would take off him and put any money into an account for when our daughter goes to uni. It's not then when I will need the money, but now so that would be no good.

If money is so tight is it really important to go out every weekend?

How much maintenance do you get from your ex?

Fridge3

frugallass wrote: »

How much maintenance do you get from your ex?

More than she should according to the CSA.

Fridge3

speedster wrote: »

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

i would like to HOPE it's a wind up, but unfortunately the OP's attitude isn't that uncommon. there's a fair few members here that will get on fine with her. :D

gold digging, selfish morons are everywhere, dont' ya know.......:rolleyes:

11pm saturday....probably out on the town as we speak.

DUTR

I can only echo some of the repsonses to the original post, I cannot help but think it is more a troll post than seeking assistance and advice.

romanempire

I notice she hasn't dare come back. :rotfl:

Fridge3

romanempire wrote: »

I notice she hasn't dare come back. :rotfl:

She's probably been spending CSA money socialising since the last post.