Peoples acceptance of disability/illness

sandy71

This may just be me but why do some disabilities/ illnesses seem more socially acceptable than others. I dont tell people what is wrong with me very often as some people have recoilled or started avoiding me, I know someone else with the same condition and she finds the same thing, I don't even see it mentioned on here much.

When my friend had breast cancer everyone rallied round and couldn't do enough for her, another friend of ours was recently diagnosed with bowel cancer and no one wants to talk about it and will avoid the subject at all costs

Is it just ignorance, embarrasment or are some disabilities just "cooler" than others :rolleyes:

jazabelle

I very much agree - I would imagine it's a mixture of all three.

I’ve found people don’t really talk to me about it at all – they might ask once what I have, and then never mention it again. Not that I’d want people to go on about it all the time, but when I’m sitting there feeling like death, it would be nice if someone for once just asked if I was okay! I have a chronic pain illness, that a lot of people haven't heard of - so I would imagine it's ignorance in my case.

And also people don't realise how bad some illnesses are. For example IBS can be awful, but people wouldn't really want to ask about it, as I guess they see it as private.

Indie_Kid

Well, some illnese are seen as an older person's problem. I had the disability support people at college tell me "Nystagmus doesn't exist and you can't possibly have it; infact, you have a learning disability". That was before they sent me for dyslexia screening, which came back as "impossible to test".

Some of it may be that some people just can't understand certain disabilities at all.

I do believe ignorance does come into it.

Fen1

I've been in and out of a wheelchair with chronic pain problems, and I also suffer from depression and exhaustion.


Some people don't believe in metal health problems ("pull youself together"); others view it as moral weakness (an attitude that should have died out with the Victorians).
Bowel/intestinal problems are regarded as 'icky', and cannot be thought about, let alone discussed. Ditto skin dieases : 'eugh, scaggy'.
There is always the fear of catching it.

I tried to view it as funny that strangers regarded me as mentally incompetent when I was in the wheelchair, when all the matter was my feet.:rolleyes:

LameWolf

sandy71 wrote: »

Is it just ignorance, embarrasment or are some disabilities just "cooler" than others :rolleyes:

Probably a bit of each, and also our society is now so "politically correct" that some people maybe don't feel they can be seen to notice that there's anything wrong, iyswim.

Where I live, in the town centre there are little "kiosks" where traders sometimes accost members of the public to try and sell them something (usually overpriced); I've noticed that I don't get pestered by these bods so much since I've had the wheelchair; I assume it's the chair that puts them off. It's a good thing for me, as I'm pathologically shy, and I dread being approached in this way.

Prinzessilein

I am High-Funbctioning Autistic. (I have Asperger's, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia). I am on Incapacity Benefit and in the (olng, drawn-out) process of claiming DLA.

Even members of my own family refuse to accept that I have problems. I don't 'look' ill, and if I would just 'pull myself together' and if mum would stop 'mollycoddling' me then I could get out more and get a job and just stop being a burden on the family and on society!

I am not averse to working! I have worked in the past. My doctor and specialist at the moment agree that even looking for work is beyond me.

Sometimes I feel that if I had my leg in a cast I'd get more understanding! (Not sympathy...I don't want sympathy!...This is how I am, accept it and understand it please!)

LadyMorticia

Prinzessilein wrote: »

I am High-Funbctioning Autistic. (I have Asperger's, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia). I am on Incapacity Benefit and in the (olng, drawn-out) process of claiming DLA.

Even members of my own family refuse to accept that I have problems. I don't 'look' ill, and if I would just 'pull myself together' and if mum would stop 'mollycoddling' me then I could get out more and get a job and just stop being a burden on the family and on society!

I am not averse to working! I have worked in the past. My doctor and specialist at the moment agree that even looking for work is beyond me.

Sometimes I feel that if I had my leg in a cast I'd get more understanding! (Not sympathy...I don't want sympathy!...This is how I am, accept it and understand it please!)

Gosh hun, I know what you mean!

I have a personality disorder. I don't look ill. There are no physical illnesses attached to my diagnosis but the lack of support from friends and family is unbelievable. Just because an illness cannot be seen, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

My OH is my carer, yet anyone other than my CPN won't accept that I need care because I don't need someone to literally put food in my mouth or take me to the loo etc.
The care I need is guidance when out and about as I get confused. I need meals made for me because I get impulsive and want to burn myself on things etc. I need looking after during the day and night as I have "episodes".

People tell me to "pull myself together" and that my disorder doesn't exist. That upsets me. Mental health disorders are very real. Just because a person cannot see them, it doesn't mean they are not there.

UnluckyT

oh gawd why are some people so ruddy awfull?
im tryin to get the doctors to help find out what wrong with me and it been hard, esp as some dont seem interested.
ive too experienced family and people in general bein awfull, esp as i find working in a shop joe public can and will do what they can to be more so.
ive even had a so called frind say i not got asthma, that doctors in the last few years give out inhalers like sweets. you should have seen the look on her face when i explained she should be more wary of what she claims ets its a long couple of years as i was diagnosed when i was only just 6 years old - some 22 years ago.

witchwoopiggy

it can be so hard to get people to understand any illness, i have emotionally unstable personality disorder, recurrent depressive disorder, converson disorder with suicidal thoughts , try saying that lot when you have had a few pints lol i too have so called family members whom have told me to pull myself together and get a job, i wish i could be ''normal'' but this is who i am, i have also been known as the 'nutter on the courner' thanks to my ex, but now im with a fantastic man my hubby who accepts me for who i am, he looks after me and i look after him as sadly he has a nerloical condition which they dont even seem to have a name for

crazy_girl

I totally agree with all that has been said here.

Mental health problems are so taboo, you're either seen as a complete loon who is possibly dangerous or someone who should just pull themself together or someone who has come up with a cunning way to fool the benefits system.

IBS is seen as just a tummy ache or too minging to contemplate.

Dyslexia and Dyspraxia are seen as stupidity and an unwillingness to learn.

My own family members have some of these attitudes I'm sad to say.

I'm lucky to have the support of my hubby/ carer and a wonderful doctor.

willa

sh1305 wrote: »

Well, some illnese are seen as an older person's problem. I had the disability support people at college tell me "Nystagmus doesn't exist and you can't possibly have it; infact, you have a learning disability". That was before they sent me for dyslexia screening, which came back as "impossible to test".

Some of it may be that some people just can't understand certain disabilities at all.

I do believe ignorance does come into it.

If someone actually said 'nystagmus doesn't exist', then that person is an ignorant idiot because it very definitely does exist.