Disability

Oldernotwiser

hopless wrote: »

Not after a council house, but my gf has been offered one that is where the subject of moving in together came from. We didnt want that, but if she takes council house she recieves an extra £600 a month, whereas if she moves in with me she loses £400 a month. Go figure.
!

As your girlfriend has been living with her parents up to now, might it not be a good idea for her to settle into her own home and live independently before rushing into a live in relationship with you?

At the same time, you could concentrate on repaying your debts so that you could start your life together without having them hanging round your neck.

Vader123

removed.................

Bogof_Babe

I'm curious as to what these "disability related expenses" are, that she needs to spend her DLA on. I don't imagine depression and agoraphobia involve a lot of extra costs.

Indie_Kid

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

I'm curious as to what these "disability related expenses" are, that she needs to spend her DLA on. I don't imagine depression and agoraphobia involve a lot of extra costs.

Medication, taxis, someone to be out with her?

Bogof_Babe

hopless wrote: »

...when i am not at work she needs my support to get her out as she is unable to do this on her own, and can see the only way she will get better is by getting out and about with me, albeit to the shops etc.

Doesn't sound like taxis or companions for going out (other than the OP) are a consideration, and £140 a month is a heck of a lot of medication!

System

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

I'm curious as to what these "disability related expenses" are, that she needs to spend her DLA on. I don't imagine depression and agoraphobia involve a lot of extra costs.

With that attitude lets hope you never have to find out

Oldernotwiser

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

With that attitude lets hope you never have to find out

To be fair, I've suffered from depression myself and can't think of any extra expenses I've had.

seven-day-weekend

The only extra expense I can think of when my husband was first ill with depression was a telephone answering machine as he could not answer the phone.

However, different people have different needs, this is irrelevant here, this young woman has been awarded her DLA so presumably is entitled to it.

There seem to be a lot of people these days who appear to think it unreasonable that they should support each other as a couple. My husband and I have supposrted each other for 38 years, sometimes he has supported me because I have not been working many hours due to family commitments, other times I have supported him because he has been on long-term sickness leave . We have lived on 'his' Teachers' Pension this last five years and I have had NO income. Although we do not have any debts now, when we did, they were our responsibility, not the Government's.

I thought that was what couples did, quite gladly, and if there is not enough money/too many outgoings in the couple's personal finance,it's up to them to sort it out. Claiming some State Benefits may be part of this, but to expect the State to support your partner because you have debts is unrealistic and unreasonable.

Bogof_Babe

I was not suggesting that the OP's girlfriend is not entitled to her DLA, just saying that I would imagine she will be able to contribute a good proportion of it to the running of their household if they do decide to live together.

I wasn't taking an "attitude" as *messedup* seems to imply, just making an observation. People are so touchy on here aren't they? :rolleyes:

Paparika

OP

There is going to be a time when your partner needs to learn to leave the house without support, she can't depend of you forever.

She should be receiving help from medical staff (not sure who) who will be able to help her with her depression and agoraphobia, it may take time but she will be able to live a better life than she is now.

I personally think she needs to learn to live on her own first getting used to that will make her more independent, and help her. Which in the long run will be beneficial to you both, she will no longer need to rely on you, which can only make your relationship stronger.

Perhaps hold off the moving in together for the time being, this will help her to get better.