Overpayers beware!!!

Bil2

jackieblue wrote:

Bil2 - I'm with you and nobody should rely on love and promises (been married 19 years). Could you not become tenants in common with the percentage split based on what additional percentage your overpayments entitle you to. This would change over time obviously but room for some growth could be built into the split. Not sure how viable it is. Years ago I had a friend who paid all the household bills while he paid the mortgage. Guess who the house belonged to when it came to dividing up. Admittedly it was a long time ago and in Belgium, but it definitely wasn't fair and fairness is the most important point - even more important than love and promises as far as I'm concerned.

Again, another sane poster (so far and few between...)!

He is adamant that he doesn't want to join the mortgage, so your 'T in C' suggestion won't work in this case.

I've been meaning to call my lender all day to take out the overpayments but I haven't worked up the courage yet. Will definately do it though! Just really sad, that's all.

Penelope_Penguin

Just re-read OP. It's a shame that you call everyone who agrees with you sane, and anyone who disagrees with your rather jaundiced (imho) opinion is criticised, bil2.

Suppose those of us who feel that relationships are worth working at, and certainly worth more than £££££, will just have to agree to differ - don't see you even considering that another point of view might be equally valid, any time soon.

Will now unsubscribe from this thread, the sun is shining, I have a solid, loving releationship, and am looking forward to spending a lovely weekend with my close family and several close friends. Life is too short to waste in this way.

Best of luck in whatever you decide to do, bil2

Penny.

Rimo2021

You are doing the right thing to consider your financial liability to your husband in event of divorce. When I bought my current property I asked my solicitor what would happen to my equity (which is fairly substantial) in the event my bf and I married and then divorced. He said good question and gave me a contact to check out (I never did because we split up) I was concerned more about the equity I would have pre-owned before a marriage rather than any equity built up as a married couple but I do believe everyone should know where they stand financially.

I honestly don't want to cast any aspersions on your marriage, as someone else said no-one outside a relationship can truly understand it and because you are investigating the financial implications does not in any way mean it is not a good marriage.

I think what partly inspired my remarks was that i know of at least one couple (in an older generation than myself when it was more common to have a stay at home wife) where the man earns the money and considers it his money entirely and his wife has no say in how it is spent. in my view this is unfair and despicable behaviour.

Bil2

I'm not getting divorced and I have lots of love in my life!

Jeez, get off your high horses people!

I've worked hard (through education and through my career) to ensure that no matter what happens I will always be able to look after myself financially. I've been brought up not to depend on others for financial stability.

If I were to have left the overpayments in the mortgage, this financial security would be gone because on the event of a divorce I could have quite literally lost the roof over my head (a roof that I've scrimped, saved and worked my fingers to the bone for- my husband has just tagged along for the ride! I've let him do this up until now, but no more!).

If my husband had been taking money out of my purse without my permission, would that be OK? If my husband was running up huge debts in my name, would that be OK? If he were to clear out all my savings accounts and spend the money on a flashy sports car, would that be OK? I'm sure that none of you would answer 'yes' to these questions, yet you keep harping on about sharing!

People keep saying marriage is 50-50. By removing my overpayments (I've now started the process- took two minutes and the mortgage woman understood my predicament straightaway- unlike some of the people on this board!), I've now made the mortgage completely 50-50. What exactly am I supposed to have done wrong?

Bil2

Gingham_Ribbon

I think the OP has given us some useful information and I am grateful for the post. However, since I think her point has been made, as has the argument against, I am going to close the thread for now.