Overpayers beware!!!

claz

oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cannot believe people are talking about saving up ready for a divorce

that sounds so absurd!!

bil2, i think you really need to think how committed your husnad is to your marriage and then discuss it with him,

if you think you are gonna split up hide all your money whereever you can and get out of there as fast as you can, why waste preious time with someone who you can't live with or the other way round

it seems to me like you are getting ready for a battle why would you think that you are going to split up? okay a bit to personal

but really you need to think about the reasons why you are thinking like this because from what i have read in this thread most people seem to be saying that it sounds like you want to divorce him!

good luck with whatever happens

Bil2

claz wrote:

from what i have read in this thread most people seem to be saying that it sounds like you want to divorce him! good luck with whatever happens

Have you not read my posts? I'm not intending on divorcing him, I'm worried about what happens if one day he decides to walk out on me! There's nothing to stop him from doing this (he's not on the mortgage) and as I currently have more wealth than him, he's legally welcome to half of it!

This is what I'm worried about! I'm not being conniving, I'm just trying to protect myself and warn others who may be in a similar situation because no one warned me about any of this!

Bil2

liney

I think my husband should throw me out. I work part time so i can be at home with our children, so i cannot afford to pay half of the mortgage payment anymore *sniff.

Seriously though. When you are married surely the money that WE earn is OURS? Therefore he wont be taking half of your overpayments, he will be taking half of 'the marriages'' overpayments.

Bil2

Hester wrote:

Loving someone means making yourself vulnerable. Even if the worst (divorce) was to happen, and 'happily' you had been savvy about money and 'got your money back', would that cure a broken heart? Your insecurity about money seems to speak of a deeper insecrutiy about the reliability of relationships in general. Maybe you'd feel more confident and optimistic about life if you had some counselling to work out why you feel you have to keep yourself so 'safe'?

So, in addition to a broken heart, you think I should do nothing to protect myself financially in the event of a break-up and end up (potentially) off the housing ladder???

...and YOU'RE recommending psychiatric help to ME??? Sounds like you're the one who needs help, lady!

I'm not insecure, I'm just trying to be sensible! Why is this so impossible for you to understand? Have you not heard any divorce horror stories before?

This is madness! If I were to have posted a message saying something along the lines of 'I have a full-time, well paid job which is permanent, should I save some of my earnings- just in case I a. lose my job or b. get ill?', everyone would have posted back saying to me 'Of course you should make savings!'. The situations are not exactly the same, but they're both based on trying to protect myself financially in case something bad happens.

matto

Maybe you should get one of those offest mortgages.

I wouldn't be too bothered he's not on the mortgage. Joint mortgages only work in the lender's favour.

Debt_Free_Chick

Bil2 wrote:

Ignoring savings and other assets for the moment- lets just concentrate on the property issue...

If it turns out that he is innocent and he agrees to join the mortgage 50/50 (after I've taken out the overpayments that is!), then on divorce he's liable for 50% of the equity in the property (fair and square- I've got no objections to this).

However, if he is scheming, then purely based on the fact that we're married, he's still able to claim 50% of the equity in the property whether he agrees to join the mortgage or not, so basically I'm screwed aren't I?

Bil2

Not necessarily ... as he would also be responsible for 50% of the (mortgage) debt

On divorce, the assets are "assets, less liabilities (debts)"

Food for thought?

(In fact, the mortgage might well be deemed to be half his, anyway. But I have absolutely no experience with this situation and cannot be sure).

I wonder if you should pay a local solicitor £200 to give you some very specific advice. Find a local matrimonial law solicitor .. Choose "Family Law" from this link or ask for recommendations from trusted friends/associates.

Bil2

Debt_Free_Chick wrote:

Not necessarily ... as he would also be responsible for 50% of the (mortgage) debt

On divorce, the assets are "assets, less liabilities (debts)"

Food for thought?

(In fact, the mortgage might well be deemed to be half his, anyway. But I have absolutely no experience with this situation and cannot be sure).

I wonder if you should pay a local solicitor £200 to give you some very specific advice. Find a local matrimonial law solicitor .. Choose "Family Law" from this link or ask for recommendations from trusted friends/associates.

So he could be liable to making payments towards the mortgage after a divorce. I never thought of it that way... hmmm... Would he be able to force a sale (or could the courts order a sale) to get rid of the mortgage debt? I've put my blood, sweat and tears (literally) into the home and I'll be damned if I see it sold without my consent!

For all the criticism that I've received, no one seems to have picked up oin the fact that I've repeatedly said that I will pay him off in cash if needs be. My concerns have always centred on being forced to sell the home or having to increase the mortgage.

I spoke to a family law solicitor for free by phone (she never mentioned anything about him being potentially liable for mortgage payments). In summary, she basically said that I'm screwed! I asked about making a legal agreement, similar to a post-nupial agreement and she said we could do this, but it probably won't be counted in divorce proceededs, so again I'm screwed!

One thing that I should say (in hubby's defense!) is that he genuinely thought that signing the "deed of consent" meant that he was giving up his rights to the property and he was happy to sign this document after getting legal advice. I think he would be more comfortable with making a legal agreement rather than being added to the mortgage (for reasons only known to himself), but as a legal agreement would most likely be worthless when it mattered most, there's no point in doing this.

Before you all rush to my husband's defense and start saying that I'm just being paranoid, a close friend of ours recently went through a divorce. Her husband had always seemed really sweet and kind, but when he broke up with her he was really bitter and mean.

If we ever divorce, my husband might be reasonable and fair about the whole thing (i.e. take what's his and leave what's mine), but then again he might try and totally clean me out. I can't predict the future, all I can do is protect myself as best as I can.

Debt_Free_Chick

Debt-free-chick, you said "On divorce, the assets are "assets, less liabilities (debts)"... are you suggesting that I should get myself into masses of debt before he divorces me...? ;-)

Nah Just that the mortgage will probably be counted as a joint debt. So whilst it's currently in your name only, on divorce half of it would probably be treated as his You need confirmation of this, but that's my understanding.

Bil2

Hi Debt-Free-Chick- I realised my error and edited my post- please re-read my post again.

Debt_Free_Chick

Bil2 wrote:

So he could be liable to making payments towards the mortgage after a divorce. I never thought of it that way... hmmm... Would he be able to force a sale (or could the courts order a sale) to get rid of the mortgage debt? I've put my blood, sweat and tears (literally) into the home and I'll be damned if I see it sold without my consent!

Divorce aims for a clean break (more so, if there are no children) - so it's unlikely he would contribute to the mortgage after divorce. Instead, the Courts would likely look to your joint net worth - total of your assets, his assets, joint assets... less your debts, his debts, joint debts.

Take the result - split it 50:50. If you are prepared to give some assets to him (e.g. cash) you might get to keep the house (would you want it?).

If you could not resolve all this (via the Financial Dispute Resolution process) then the Courts would probably arrive at this split. Either way, you get a Court Order stating what you've agreed. If he then refused to agree to the sale of the house, you will probably need to return to Court to have the Order enforced (as it will have stated that the matrimonial home is to be sold and the proceeds to be split x, y & z). So .. in conclusion, I really don't think he could block the sale of the house. And I think there's every chance you could stay there, but you'll probably have to part with some cash

Regards