Newbie, sad and lonely

dotstar24

gien wrote: »

Skintbutsolvent,

I'd echo what's been said already. there's a very supportive group of people over on the debtfreewannabees dairy section in the cutting down/giving up alcohol thread - come over and join us. Lots of advice and support to cut out the drink because it is a very strong depressant.

I can also recommend a book by Susan Jeffers called 'feel the fear and do it anyway'. It really does help you to focus on areas of your life you wish to improve with practical steps to go about it. Also works on self image.

I actually think you're rather a success - you made some hard choices about your job/bankruptcy acing up to a difficult situation and now you go out and do a good day's work for a (small) wage, making a difference where you work. Also you have the courage to look at difficult emotions, face up and ask for help and advice. To stand up, even in a forum, and do that is really quite admirable.

The AFW thread helped me cut down before i got pregnant...give them a try xxx

katebl

Hi skintbutsolvent, I have been reading your thread and didn't really know what to say, but here's my (probably useless) suggestions! You say you're just treading water in your new thread, you sound like you need something to look forward to. Now you have comparably less work pressure and more disposable income, could you not perhaps book yourself a little holiday? Maybe get away and decide what you want to do next in life? A change of scenery may help you feel a bit better. Otherwise yoga sounds quite expensive, and I'd imagine you don't really get a chance to chat to people - could you not see if there's anything more sociable such as running clubs, dancing, any evening classes even perhaps to learn something at a college? You seem really nice and I'm sure if you were doing something you enjoyed in the company of others you could form a bond with people there. I'm certainly no expert but just wanted to try and help. Hope you're okay as your last post was quite worrying.

Freebie_Hunter_2

Ther has been a time in my life where i have done pretty much the same.

Think of it as a clean slate. You have wiped out your debts, you're in your 'starter home'. There's a big wide World out there waiting for you.
As others have mentioned, think of an interest and perhaps do a night class. Would you like to learn another language? Maybe brush up on your culinary skills? Martial arts anyone? A night class will get you out when you NEED to get out....when you're most likely to drink.
You'll meet new people and gain a new skill.
Look for a new job. Onwards and upwards. Once you have a good job, think of the good salary and how you'll be able to afford a better place. You can then invite your friends from your nightclass round!

Don't see it as the end of the road......see it as the BEGINNING.

Post-it notes. Write some nice things on post-it notes and stick them in random places. Listen to music that cheers you up. This is your World. Build your dreams, you have the foundations already set.

Things will get better I promise......but only if you put down the booze and ditch the tablets. You need a clear head to think straight. If you find yourself feeling negative, recognise it and turn it into a positive. Give yourself tough love!

Not sure if that has helped, I hope it has. This is the start of your life......time to drive that open road!

rachelhen

Hey skintbutsolvent you need some protective factors ( people who appreciate you) in your life. The first thing, from an outside point of view, that I know is important, is having some meaningful social contacts. The advice that most people are giving you is to find a way of getting out that may not be paid work because then you will become part of a group.

You come across as resourceful and strong person.

If we can see that just by your presentation through on line conversation then others will too.

your life will get better and better

katebl

Skintbutsolvent, you haven't been online for 3 days now, where are you?! Hope you are okay x

Shoe_Gal

me too, talk to us :A

MyRubyRed

Any one heard anything???

BitterAndTwisted

No. No response to pm either

Shoe_Gal

No, nothing - could it be 'no news is good news'

BitterAndTwisted

I dearly hope so. I know Skinty is very busy holding down several different jobs, so I'm praying that's the reason.