Mending my life ... did I do the right thing?

dizzy2274

nm123 wrote: »

Well done Dizzy - you sound so much better off without him. :T

I'm afraid I don't have any words of wisdom for you, but didn't want to read and run.

Can you get by without his contribution or is it more for the principal? Does he want to see the boys?

Hi

I think i have mentioned in one of my other replies that some of the messages that I have received this forum are really boosting my self esteem and giving me strength.

To answer your questions, even when he lived with us we lived on my salary, so yes it is more about the principle. I just want him to provide towards the kids not me and I think £200 pcm in not unreasonable, plus the fact that he has convinced his friends and some of his family that he provided for us and continues to do so. Incidently, I forgot to mention that his own mother is fully supporting me, saying that her son is no good and he needs to appreciate his kids and me. Totally amazed by that!

As for seeing the boys, he has to collect my eldest from school every day because I work full time and I refuse to put my son in after school club till 6pm. So I've insisted he picks up our eldest son and drops him off at my mothers who collects the youngest from pre school. So he sees the boys mon-fri for a few minutes apart from that he hasn't actually asked to see them.

Dizzy

dizzy2274

ZarZar1990 wrote: »

Hi Dizzy, hope you're okay :hello:
Just wanted to say: Well done! for kicking the loser out, seems to me like you definitely did the right thing by all accounts, so don't feel bad!

I'd probably say to him, that if he doesn't cough up for his sons, that you will grass him up to the tax man, you're not to blame with his taxes, as you pay income tax and always have done!

Nothing grinds my gears more than people who don't pay tax, apart from people who don't pay tax and claim JSA on top of that :eek:
I know someone doing it too, and I've told him I'm not impressed and warned him he will get caught.

Just say to him, you don't want to mess up his happy little life, so if he pays the agreed amount to you each month, the tax man wont come knocking, CSA probably won't be able to do anything as he's not legally employed.
(My friends dad constantly made himself jobless whenever CSA came knocking)

Hope you're okay, and good luck, it sounds like you're all your sons need anyway!
xxxXxxx

Hi ZarZar1990

Thank you for your very supportive message. Keeping strong, seems alot easier during the week, actually glad that I am busy with work and then being with the boys in the evening. Last weekend was a tough one though, so I am planning to do lots of things this weekend to keep mine and boys mind off the situation.

i have worked my whole life and i could have so easily quit work and sat at home claiming benefits but I just can't do that. I need to know that I have worked for every penny I that I have. Not declaring earnings in one thing but then on top to claim JSA, really made me so mad. Don't get me wrong I did used to tell him to sort himself out regarding the tax issue, as its only a matter of time before the taxman catches up with you, but like everything else it fell on deaf ears. Alas, not my problem anymore.

ZarZar1990

Definitely not!
Its always hard to leave someone you've been with for a long time, even if you know in the bottom of your heart its the right thing to do.
Your sons will be fine, because it seems as though they have a very strong mother
Yeah good plan, keep busy with the boys!
xxx