Showing 18 films to underage children at school

Spendless

florence321 wrote: »

However, a few days later it emerged that the teacher concerned had gone into another class with older pupils after the event and been annoyed and told the pupils that a parent had complained about him showing ****** and that they had no right to complain because he could show exactly what he liked in his classes.

My child was mortified because they had told no one that we had called the school and they found this out by a fellow pupil asking her if we had complained, because although we were not named there were only 3 pupils who stood at the back and did not watch so they had obviously assumed it was us that had complained.

I am very angry that this teacher has gone into class and discussed a parental complaint with a group of pupils in any manor at all but i'm even crosser that he has clearly been moaning about it and shouting about his right to show whatever he likes. Totally unprofessional?

I feel we were extremely pleasant with the way we brought the issue up, we did not make a big fuss or shout about it even though i think his showing of the material is a very serious matter. I pride myself on my good relationship with the school and consequently handled the issue very sensitively. I now feel quite angry that this teacher has innappropraitely discussed this with a group of students thus allowing my child to be identified and showing a great deal of disrespect to us and to the rights of parents and children.

So my question....whilst i really dislike conflict and was pleased that the matter had, I thought, been settled I feel I need to go back to the school. I am unsure as to whether i should go to the head this time or back to the Hof D. Any advice much appreciated or anyone who has any knowledge of whether there are guidelines governing what is shown to children in school, film wise.

Many thanks for your help.

How do you know? I mean I'm pretty sure your child has told you and I'm not saying they're making it up, but how does your child know? If they say cos a group of friends/a reliable source who were in that class all said same thing/told them that's one thing but if it's child A told child B who told child C who told your child, then it might be chinese whispers.

If you are sure that what you've been told is correct then I'd go back to the HofD in the 1st instance as you were happy with how the matter was handled last time.

florence321

Ruby_Moon wrote: »

It doesn't sound quite right to me, this story. The OP wasn't given any forms to sign giving permission to allow her child to watch it but yet knows all about it, which film it was and which bit of the film was shown etc etc.
That information can only have come from the child and I know what children's factual event relaying is like.....not usually how it happened.
So, the OP asked the head what was happening and the head went to the teacher, Well, if I were that teacher I would be thinking, "am I in trouble here?" and I would say to the head "Sure, it was that film but only that bit".
No matter what was said to the teacher by the head, I am sure the head would just tell the parent, "Sorry, its been dealt with".
As for the rest of it...what? Child gets accused of this and teacher says that and everyone thinks what? and blah blah blah. Is that something else that comes from child?
Like Judge Judy says It doesn't make sense!

You are certainly right that something here doesn't make sense. It is unfortunately your post.

I cant actually fathom what you're trying to say??

"I did not receive permission slips yet i know all about what was watched"?
Yes, of course in the first instance this information came from my child. They are 12 not 4 so their recall of events is very reliable as is their maturity and honesty.
But I am not stupid. When I first called the school I stated that I was still kind of hoping that it was a misunderstanding and perhaps it was A that was shown not B , A being a film with a similar story but not rated an 18 or with graphic content even though the teacher had told them what it was and used a you tube clip of the event with a specific title which we were able to find on you tube.
The HoD was initially unaware of anything being shown at all, this I felt was in itself wrong.

So HoD went to the teacher concerned before contacting me again discussed the matter with him, watched the specific clip of the film with him and then agreed it was totally unsuitable thus apologised to me and assured me it would not be shown again. The film was mentioned by name numerous times and the fact that it was an 18, the nature of the children being allowed to opt out by standing at the back etc.

Are you actually suggesting that the teacher concerned did not show the aforementioned inappropriate clip of an 18 film but decided to just pretend to the HoD that they had!????????!!!! Because they were under pressure or in trouble??

Or are you suggesting that the HoD and teacher decided to just admit to showing the aforementioned clip (a gross and serious error of judgement which reflects extremely badly on both of them) because they had to apologise to me, just to shut me up and were confirming to me what my child had told me for this reason??

That makes no sense at all. If you knew my child, or even the school concerned, you would know of them and how offensive your suggesting that they exaggerated, lied, pushed boundaries etc is. They were absolutely horrified that i decided to complain, were desperate for me not to because they didnt want to cause any trouble for this popular teacher who they, and I up to this point, had really liked.

In any case, it matters not whether we accept my version of my child or yours or anywhere in between. All of the facts about this film which part was shown and the circumstances around it were confirmed to me in discussion with the HoD.

The more recent events (passed on conversations) are obviously more difficult to substantiate and that matter needs to be handled even more carefully, See my post below.

mintymoneysaver

I would have been complaining too! I'm a real stickler for film certificates, I always think they're there for a reason and my daughters never saw a 12 in the cinema until they were ( probably saw loads at friend's houses though!:rotfl:). My almost 16 year old did watch some 15s in school when she was 14 in history, english lit and I can understand why these were shown. However I have a 12 year old and would be appalled and straight on the phone if I thought she had watched some of an 18 film ( which obviously was inappropriate otherwise he wouldn't have given them the opportunity not to watch!

Doom_and_Gloom

They should have sent forms home saying that they would be showing the film to 12 year olds and if parents would or would not be okay with this.

During my GCSE year I took AS Film Studies so watched loads of 18 films even though I was 15 and even had to write essays about film certifications and why (which is funny when you are supposed to be to young to veiw it in the first place :rotfl:). However my parents knew that when I decided to take the class that watching 18 films would be a part of the syllabus no matter what (not that they cared much as I'd been watching 18's since I was at least 13 with them knowing :rolleyes:). I have to say though that for parents to know that their 15 year old is watching 18 films in classes (and taking them home on occasion) is vastly different than the OP's situation of 12 year olds watching an 18 without parents being told before hand that they will be in classes.

I have to say personally the film in question doesn't disturb me in anyway as I'm not religious so to me it is only a film - if you understand my point. I say this but I realise that a lot of adults, religious or otherwise, have found this film to be disturbing so to show this film to 12 year olds knowing this fact is astounding.

You had every right to complain that they showed the film without first contacting parents which is unprofessional of them. I feel you also have the right to complain about how the teacher took the news that someone wasn't happy with him showing it. It's difficult enough going through school as it is. A child doesn't then need a teacher blowing off steam to a classroom and make it rather obvious who could be to blame for what they are saying. It was very unprofessional of him as a teacher to do this and he needs to be questioned about this behaviour by his higher ups.

florence321

Spendless wrote: »

How do you know? I mean I'm pretty sure your child has told you and I'm not saying they're making it up, but how does your child know? If they say cos a group of friends/a reliable source who were in that class all said same thing/told them that's one thing but if it's child A told child B who told child C who told your child, then it might be chinese whispers.

If you are sure that what you've been told is correct then I'd go back to the HofD in the 1st instance as you were happy with how the matter was handled last time.

You are absolutely right about this and I am very aware of the difficulties here.

All I can be 100% certain of in my mind is the fact that the teacher did mention the complaint and subsequent banning of the film in some way because my child had told no one that we had complained.

I know the 2 children concerned well (her friend and the friends older sibling well) they are not the sort of children I would tend to doubt. There are children from 2 different families also who have relayed this info. but I am concerned because essentially this is a family conversation passed on from my childs friend to my child to me so I cannot be certain at all how or in what way the teacher mentioned the complaint.

This is complicated further by my wish to not alarm my child further to the fact that i am considering going to the school again I have had a few casual, do you think that really happened like that conversations and my child has replied "well, I guess so, I'm pretty sure x wouldn't lie?" but of course these are still handed on conversations.

It would obviously be ideal for me to speak to the mother involved (and I do know her) but again I dont want my child to be aware that i am looking into this further and i dont want to implicate by name any other children or parents.

All I believe I can do is to tell the school that I have been led to believe that things may have been said, tell them what i have heard and assert that clearly this is not a factual account of events and I am aware that things may not be as they have been reported.

The bottom line is that I am certain that he mentioned the complaint and banning of the film, I dont know in which way, but I feel that just the mention of the incident to other children is inappropriate and unprofessional. I agree with many posters, have a good moan about me in the staff room but the incident should not be referred to at all with other children.

Thanks for your post, it raised a good point which i hadnt made clear originally.

florence321

I would just like to say thank you sooooo much to everyone who has posted with advice, opinions and information.

I am extremely keen to have good relationships with my childrens school and I dislike conflict or complaining per se but you have made me feel much better about the way i have reacted to this incident.

Thanks so much.

wendywitch

Florence, please let us know how your meeting goes and what the final out come is.

skint_flint_2

Im so nosey especially about what film it is, I can only presume its about animal or human cruelty or perhaps an abortion documentary??

florence321

wendywitch wrote: »

Florence, please let us know how your meeting goes and what the final out come is.

I will. Thanks again to everyone for your help and support.:A

rev_henry

skint_flint wrote: »

Im so nosey especially about what film it is, I can only presume its about animal or human cruelty or perhaps an abortion documentary??

Look back through the posts, I'm sure you can work it out.
Good luck OP.