Help please. Feeling really fed up about how I look

funky_snow

some great idea onthis thread...

Tips from me - do a declutter of what you currently have - clothes, shoes, jewellery and accessories.

If you've not worn it for a year chuck it, don't keep stuff that you might 'slim' into because when (not if!) you are successful it will be good to treat yourself to new stuff. Appraise your stuff critically and if its shapeless, makes you feel down, colours that don't suit also throw it out (or pass onto charity shop if quality is still good)
Then try to do a Gok Wan style capsule wardrobe which boils down to 2 things - having key pieces and all in colours/shades that can be mixed. If there is something missing e.g. a warm cardigan to link different bits then maybe you can treat yourself to just that item or hunt around charity shops.
Whats left get organised - pack away summer things and have your winter clothes and shoes accessible. This includes organising accessories like bags, belts, jewellery etc so they're easy to see and pick up.
The act of organising is massively therapeutic to making a fresh start. (I often find if I do 1 'sorting' out activity like my paperwork it then spurs me onto sorting out the next 'thing' that needs organising)

aliadds

Isklar...I can so relate to this as I am in a similar situation to you! I was lucky in that when my husband left me 2 1/2 years ago, I got a fantastic new job at the same time. The job and people there have kept me going in my darkest times.
Also like you money is extremely tight and I have had to become an avid MSE'er in order to survive.
I'm fortunate that I work 6 days a week and have to go out. The rest of the time I'm a bit of a recluse. It's easier to stay in and comfort eat.
What I would say is that although I haven't got a good figure or amazing looks, I try and do the best with what I have. I make sure when I buy clothes these days that it's something I'll wear to death. I recently sold some mis buys and 'too smalls' on Ebay for £80 which I put towards some new pieces.
I always make sure I'm made up and hair washed and looking good. It's true...just defuzzing and painting your nails can make you feel better!
My luxury is a hair cut in a good salon every 2 months...but maybe you have a college near you where you could get it done for a minimum charge! I also colour mine myself and recently used the Superdrug version of the 10 minute dye for £4.99. It gave me a lovely colour with multi tones.
Most importantly I would say make an effort to look good, and feel good for yourself. Positive thinking and a better life comes from you and no one else.
I feel that the difficult time I've been through has ultimately made me a stronger, better person.

tara747

This is such a lovely thread, great tips ladies!!! You've inspired me to pluck my eyebrows and have a mini clear out :rotfl:

Isklar - I have a few tips too, hope they help.

1. Spend some time looking in the mirror. Massage a little olive oil into your skin, watch it redden and glow. Make faces at yourself and laugh!!! Get a cheap but decent moisturiser - Tesco currently have 'miracle cream' Simple replenishing moisturiser for £2 and it will last ages. A cheap eye cream will help soothe the skin around your eyes.

2. Focus on and highlight your good bits. Try on everything in your wardrobe, mixing and matching and experimenting. Make a wish list of things that would complement existing garments and go browsing around Primark and charity shops. Try on things you wouldn't normally consider - you never know, you might like them! Go for fitted and flattering rather than loose and baggy.

3. Buy 2 good (but not too dear) bras that fit you now. Even though you will lose weight, you want to feel comfy and look good right now, and a good bra will transform your posture.

4. Put a little makeup on EVERY DAY even when not leaving the house.

5. Treat yourself to something tasty and healthy at the supermarket - maybe natural yogurt and some fruit, meringue nests, oatcakes, natural popcorn etc. Sit down and enjoy them.

6. Get your hair cut, there are plenty of training nights and offers at most hairdressers so it can be quite cheap. A wet cut is cheaper than a wash, cut and blow dry. You will instantly feel better.

7. In the shops, hold some garments up to your face to see what colours really suit you. For example, black might wash you out but that doesn't mean you have to stop wearing it. Just make sure you accessorise with a red/white/orange/silver etc scarf or vest next to your face.

8. Stick some of the 'old you' photos in a prominent place to inspire you! I do this to help me try to lose weight.

9. Be kind to yourself.

I will post more later. In the meantime, take care xoxoxo

Zozo1985

If you are looking for exercise at a cheap price I would reccomend the following if a full gym membership is not an option.

Try finding out if there are any womens running clubs in your area. I don't mean professional running groups but there are groups out there in all areas where people of mixed abilties go running together certain times a week. Its not just good for improving fitness and weight loss, but its a great way to meet people and get a good social group aswell and can be very motivating when training with other people.

Alternatively if you want a good workout dvd try the latest 'Biggest Loser' workout dvd, I have it for those days when I can't make it to the gym but still need that workout. Costs less than a tenner an you can do it as and when you please in your own home. It is done by 2 fully qualifed personal trainers rather than these faddy celeb ones that come out just after xmas. The only celeb ones I would recommend are Davina Macalls and Nell McAndrews.

My mum put on a lot of weight after quitting smoking and substituting it with food and was finding it difficult to lose weight and getting upset about it. She went to her GP about it who put her an a GP referal to and Exercise referal officer and she got cut price gym membership and personal training at a gym and didn't have a contract to commit to being a member there for a certain time.

Also try Rosemary connelly for good tips on diet and exercise. If classes arent an option pick up her magazines. They have great advice on nutrition and recipes for those healthier meals.

Looking after your body and gaining more knowledge on food will give you more energy, confidence and happiness and will provide you with life changing knowledge to curb the bad habits

Ill leave the beauty tips to the others, Diet and Fitness is more my expertise I can offer )

lostinrates

We haven't heard back from the OP. I hope this is the sort of thing they were after! If not come back and tell us and lets see if we can get it even better for you

Isklar

lostinrates wrote: »

We haven't heard back from the OP. I hope this is the sort of thing they were after! If not come back and tell us and lets see if we can get it even better for you

It is exactly what I was after! I'm so happy with the suggestions here I've got a little notebook and been making notes as I read the posts. There's been so many great ideas. :j
I wanted to wait to come back with a first positive update and now I have one. Since I wrote my post I've been out for a walk every day (only short but better than nothing) and I had my hair cut and coloured yesterday. I decided the easiest thing to make a big change was my hair so I had it done and it looks great.
I've also made a point of doing a cleanse and moisturise for my face morning and night - I'd slipped into some very bad habits there.
This is a work in progress so I'll keep updating as I try the ideas I'm reading here.
Thanks so much to everyone who's responded

lostinrates

Isklar wrote: »

It is exactly what I was after! I'm so happy with the suggestions here I've got a little notebook and been making notes as I read the posts. There's been so many great ideas. :j
I wanted to wait to come back with a first positive update and now I have one. Since I wrote my post I've been out for a walk every day (only short but better than nothing) and I had my hair cut and coloured yesterday. I decided the easiest thing to make a big change was my hair so I had it done and it looks great.
I've also made a point of doing a cleanse and moisturise for my face morning and night - I'd slipped into some very bad habits there.
This is a work in progress so I'll keep updating as I try the ideas I'm reading here.
Thanks so much to everyone who's responded

I'm so glad!

Well done you!

Fwiw it can be ..exhausting..at first, getting into the swing of ''life'' again, be nice to your self.

Caroline73_2

When I get up in the mornings I get ready as if I was going out, hair done and make up and clean tidy clothes. I work on the principle that if anyone came to the front door I wouldn't be ashamed of what I had on. I really wrks wonders.

I have old jeans that I wear for doing the house work but that's it. If I spill something on what I'm wearing then I will change, even if I know I'm not seeing anyone all day.

tara747

Isklar wrote: »

It is exactly what I was after! I'm so happy with the suggestions here I've got a little notebook and been making notes as I read the posts. There's been so many great ideas. :j
I wanted to wait to come back with a first positive update and now I have one. Since I wrote my post I've been out for a walk every day (only short but better than nothing) and I had my hair cut and coloured yesterday. I decided the easiest thing to make a big change was my hair so I had it done and it looks great.
I've also made a point of doing a cleanse and moisturise for my face morning and night - I'd slipped into some very bad habits there.
This is a work in progress so I'll keep updating as I try the ideas I'm reading here.
Thanks so much to everyone who's responded

OMG that's great!!! Well done you! How did you feel upon seeing your new hair? A great new haircut always makes me giggle with pleasure.

Well done on the cleansing routine, your skin will thank you!

Baby steps is all it takes. I'm so pleased for you! I'm loving these tips too, the ladies on this forum really are the best.

miamoo

Another thing thats really helped me get more confidence is Mystery shopping, it sounds scary but its not its alot of fun and you get abit of extra money!
Have a look on the Mystery shopping thread there's lots of tips and if I can help at all PM me x

Edited to add: I know your post is about how you look, but if you feel confident you shuld feel happier xx