Vasectomy reversal

MrsTinks

On the positive side... my father had a vasectomy and a successful reversal - I have a 6 year old half brother to prove it...
And that is why I know very few are successfully reversed because dad felt it was easier to discuss it with me than his wife - he didn't want to upset her by telling her the true numbers of successful reversals - as happens they were lucky and it worked.

bevanuk

If he actually went through with the procedure and had nothing frozen then it appears to me that he doesn't want children.

Talking to him is the best way, but I would think you need to give better reason than you want "the experience of a happy supported pregnancy" - that is 9 months, theres a whole persons life at the end of it.

JAM1376

My OH had a reversal approx 5 years after his original op. The first reversal was on the NHS and didn't work. The second time (the poor bloke did it twice!) was private and MICRO surgery. We now have a beautiful 9 week old girl! After you have had the chat, if you do decide to go ahead, make sure you have micro surgery, the sucess rate is much higher.

Good luck whatever happens xxx

JimmyTheWig

Have you thought about alternatives - sperm donation, adoption, etc?

pinksleepybear

There are also methods of retrieving sperm (basically via needle) that don't require the vasectomy reversal...but this would require IVF.

rachnbri

Thanks for the replies (and sorry MrCow - didn't mean to get you in trouble!:eek:)
I've been thinking about this a lot over the last few days and I think I'm just going to have to accept that it's not going to happen. I think I'm just having a bit of an emotional blip at the moment because my sister has just had a baby.

Although, as I said before, the primary reason we decided not to have more children was financial, to be honest there were other reasons as well which are still valid. DH didn't want to be an ancient dad (he's got a few years on me!) and other factors also such as the impact on the two children we already have.

I'll always feel a bit sad that DH and I will never have babies together, and he is aware of how I feel about that because we spoke about that even before he had the vasectomy. However we can't always have everything that we want and I am lucky enough to have two fantastic boys who make me proud every day. I've decided not to discuss it further with DH at the moment - mainly because he's lovely and if I asked him to have a reversal he probably would because he'd do pretty much anything to make me happy. I don't want to put him in that position - especially if I'm going to get over this in a few months time.

I shall just concentrate on having 2 great boys who I can have a conversation with and who don't keep me awake at night!

JimmyTheWig

What's your thinking on adoption? You could adopt a child of, say, five which wouldn't make your OH so old, if that makes sense.

rachnbri

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

What's your thinking on adoption? You could adopt a child of, say, five which wouldn't make your OH so old, if that makes sense.

Adoption isn't something which we've considered.

MaximumImpact

It may not be reversible... I'm not sure of the percentages but I think rather a large amount are not possible to reverse even if you can find the £3k and he agrees...

I just flat out asked my hubby 2 and a half years ago. He had had the snip 15 years ago and we were given 15% success rate. I now have one DS aged 14 months and another due in 3 months!!

All credit to our surgeon and clinic, they did a cracking job!!! I am happy to let ou know the name of the group of clinics and the surgeon if he agrees to the reversal and I couldn't recommend them more with the treatment and aftercare being second to none.

mrcow

rachnbri wrote: »

I'll always feel a bit sad that DH and I will never have babies together, and he is aware of how I feel about that because we spoke about that even before he had the vasectomy. However we can't always have everything that we want and I am lucky enough to have two fantastic boys who make me proud every day. I've decided not to discuss it further with DH at the moment - mainly because he's lovely and if I asked him to have a reversal he probably would because he'd do pretty much anything to make me happy. I don't want to put him in that position - especially if I'm going to get over this in a few months time.

You don't have to bottle up your feelings though. To do so is really sad for you. You can just say to your OH that you've been thinking about it a lot.....no pressure or anything, but at least you're letting him know how you feel.

In my heart, I desperately want more children. In my head though I know it's never going to happen - and I'm so, so lucky to have the three that I do who are all healthy and happy. I know in my head that having another child wouldn't be the right thing as:

(a) we couldn't realisitcally afford the vastectomy reversal (and it may not work)
(b) I know I wouldn't be able to be as attentive a parent to my existing children if I had another baby right now - we're so busy as it is. It's not just about what I want, but about what's right for the family.
(c) I'm getting on a bit now and I think the pregnancy/birth would be tough as previous ones have been
(d) there are other dreams and ambitions that I have that I know I'll never fufill if I have more children

But that doesn't mean that I can't talk about my feelings. In a way, being open about my desire to have another baby has made me more focussed on point (d) recently and what it is that I'd really like to do with my life to fufill it in other ways that I long for.

My OH is a bit like yours I guess, he'd do it if he thought it would be what I truely wanted. When we discussed it, we both agreed to "never say never" about it - and just knowing that has made me feel so much more comfortable about it (I think if he had just said "no" then it would have been so much harder to take).

The nice thing is that because we've had the conversation, I don't feel like I have to hide my feelings (which initially I was a bit and it was hard) and so when I'm feeling low about it all, he's always there to talk it though with me.