Vasectomy reversal

rachnbri

Myself and DH got married just over 2 years ago. I already have 2 children aged 13 and 9. DH has no children however has a great relationship with my kids and loves them as his own. We decided when we got married that we didn't want any more children and DH had a vasectomy. The thing is that our decision was made for practical reasons - primarily that we couldn't afford another child. Well now things have changed - we are now more financially secure than either of us have ever been in our lives. When I had my babies I had nothing but I managed.

Well now I'm absolutely desperate to have another baby. Part of it is that I had my children pretty much on my own - my ex was abusive and I've never had the experience of a happy supported pregnancy. I want to have a baby and have people being happy for me rather than pitying me.

I know that my DH would be such a lovely dad however I haven't even broached the subject with him. It was a joint decision for him to have a vasectomy, although he was all for it, so I'm struggling to find the best way to ask him to go under the knife again and pay 3 grand for the privilidge!

MrsTinks

It may not be reversible... I'm not sure of the percentages but I think rather a large amount are not possible to reverse even if you can find the £3k and he agrees...

I guess the best thing to do is just sit down with him and be honest...

verysillyguy06

The longer you wait, the less likely it will be successful. Google it and read thought the info. Its its only 50% after 1/2 years and after 10 I think its 20%......

kittiej

The poor bloke.

If it was a success and you did have another child would you then want him to have a vasectomy done again?

mrcow

All you can do is tell him how you feel and then have the conversation that then follows. See how he feels about things and take it from there.

McKneff

So its actually you who wants another baby, he is blissfully in total ignorance of the fact. As far as he's concerned he probably hasnt even given a second thought to it because he has had a vasectomy. He may still be of the mind pre vasectomy that he doesnt want children.

The best way forward is to talk to him. But as someone else said, will you be expecting him to go through another vasectomy. It needs mentioning when you get talking about it all.

DKLS

Ouch poor bloke, I suggest you google the reversal video and see exactly what is involved, its a much more involved procedure, with higher risks, longer recovery times, and no guarantees of success.

Couldnt you get a kitten or a guinea pig instead?

katieclampet

Just tell him how you feel. At least once you discuss it you can find out how he feels, then think about taking it forward, if he's keen. However, as several ops have said, it might not be successful, even if he does agree.

katiex

mrcow

Can I just add that this thread very nearly got me in trouble.

My b/f saw that I had a page up about vasectomy reversal costs and I don't think he was impressed

I had to do some quick explaining.

foxy-roxy

My dad had a vasectomy after i was born as my mum didn't want anymore children (i was the 2nd), so my dad got it done, however, a few years down the line they got divorced, my dad met someone else who didn't have children, so he got it reversed and it didn't work, my dad is now single and his OH went on to have 2 kids with someone else.
So the success rate is very low, although i think my dad had waited a fair few years before having the reversal, and anyway he is glad now that it didn't work as he says he would rather have grandchildren than more kids:eek:
I think you should ask you husband what he wants and go from there.

Good Luck

Silverbird

I would just like to point out that this situation occurred between a friend of mine and her husband. Friend wanted kids all of a sudden and asked husband to have vasectomy reversed. Husband said OK. Day of the operation he chickened out and said he couldn't do it. 1 year later friend left her husband and they're now getting divorced. Her reason - she couldn't forgive him for not having gone ahead and still wants kids.

Please, please, please be prepared that he might not want children and do not hold it against him if he doesn't.

It's such a shame when a relationship falls apart due to circumstances such as these, especially when that relationship was entered into with both people wanting the same things and being happy with that.