problems with inlaws

Penny-Pincher!!

Steel wrote: »

You don't have to have a big blazing row - if you do, the family may very well outcast you and hold you up as the troublemaker.

Simply reduce all contact with them to nothing - no big announcements, just slowly drift away.
Don't return emails, phonecalls, cards and stop going to family events where they will be there.

I've had to do this with some of my own immediate family as they have been so wickedly nasty and unpleasant. There are some people out there who exist to lie, make trouble, buck responsibility for their actions, create drama and be the centre of attention. You cannot fight them. If you do, they morph into victims and you look like the bully. You just have to take away their source of ammunition. Like a fire without oxygen they eventually burn themselves out after a few years.

If you're going to be "dammed if you do or dammned if you don't" you might as well not bother putting in any effort for the same unpleasant result.

If SIL is like this at all, take the high road. I did and I haven't enjoyed this kind of peace for years!

Steel....I just wanted to say "thanks" for ALL the above!

I have had problems with my immediate family and inlaws for years and am currently having problems with a SIL who I used to be best friends with. Your post has made me realise that I will never make them happy as their expectations are ridiculous!

Thanks so much.

PP
xx

Steel_2

red_devil wrote: »

thats true about families treated strangers with more respect. For anyone who dosent speak to their family what happens if you come face to face for example when out shopping.

What do you tell other people if they mention or ask after your family?

I've never bumped into them while out and about so I don't know. If someone else asks me, I say they're fine and turn the conversation back to the other person's family or start complimenting them like mad on their clothing, hairdo etc. I don't go into it.

To be honest, many people already know there's something not quite right - the family members in question have no friends and five brothers and sisters who refuse to speak to them because of their behaviour.

Doesn't take a genius to figure out it's not "everyone else being mean for no good reason!"

Minimum_Wage_2

Their lives most be so boring to be talking about your and they must be very boring themselves to make up lies for others to listen too.

I'd just tell them straight.

Steel_2

Penny-Pincher!! wrote: »

Steel....I just wanted to say "thanks" for ALL the above!

I have had problems with my immediate family and inlaws for years and am currently having problems with a SIL who I used to be best friends with. Your post has made me realise that I will never make them happy as their expectations are ridiculous!

:blushing:

How about this for an unreasonable expectation - one family member told me I was the biggest disappointment of his life because.....wait for it...I didn't marry a solicitor or a consultant.

:doh:

Anyway, Threebabes good luck with whatever action you decide to take. Stay strong!!