Is it time to ban Christmas presents? Blog and poll discussion

melbury

Bravo Martin for saying what so many people really think.

It is time that Christmas was taken back to basics, the whole thing has got completely out of hand and causes so much stress.

Can't the shops be persuaded not to put out any Christmas goods until 1st December? Who wants to start eating mince pies in mid-November?

All that was special about Christmas when I was a child has been just about destroyed - nothing is special or a treat anymore, and kids are so totally spoilt, they have everything and value nothing. Give them an annual and a satsuma:D and make a donation to a good cause!

cmn374

We have a rule in our family that gifts for anyone, other than parents or siblings, must not cost more than £5 if they are bought, or they must be homemade.
This works really well for us as my Mum & I, and my aunts & female cousin all enjoy crafts & sewing so we always make gifts for each other - bags, quilts, jams etc & enjoy doing it. The uncles & male cousins usually stick to buying each other a drink in the pub. Stereotypical I know, but it works for us!

Caroline

iyhow

I always used to buy presents for my cousins and their children -ever expanding circle. Never more than £5-10 but more a token than anything. But last year we all decided to change this to a secret santa style for the adults, with everyone buying just one present. We could all up the budget a little, still save money, and have more time to choose a gift that would be more appreciated. We all felt it worked well and this year we plan to do the same but also include the kids.

Quality rather than quantity

Cocoroco

Excellent Post.

For last few years I have given one gift to Mum, one to Dad, one to my brother, one to whomever I am dating, and one each to my 2 God children. That's it. I don't give gifts to friends (but we meet up for drinks etc) and would rather buy friends nice birthday presents which can be spread out through the course of the year. One year when my family and I spent Christmas abroad we waived gifts, as the holiday had cost so much, and we were just so happy being abroad together. I also like participating in 'Secret Santa' for office gift obligations...in the past most offices I worked in agreed a limit of £5 or less and usually it's fun gifts that are given so there is no pressure. It's amazing what you can get for £5 if you look.

ditsydoris_2

I absolutely agree with Martin. I have told both my children ( 3 & 8 ) that they can have 1 main present and then the rest is left to Father Christmas. I save all year to spend about £200 per child BUT, all through the year they have charity shop clothes and I make everything else. They have 4 uncles between them and 3 aunts who all buy them presents along with 2 grandma's and a grandad. They also have at least 5 good family friends ( " aunts and uncles " ) that buy them presents. That is enough for anyone. If the worst thing that ever happens to them in life is that they don't get what they want for christmas then they are not doing too bad!!

dean19_66

dean19_66 wrote: »

we have had the **** taken out of us for years. ive spent £30 on each of my nephew and neice and its not a joke but got 50p toys back, my sister said she cant afford it but spent a lot of time down the pub.

i should have also mentioned that what you have said has happened to us. whats strange is that we spent £30 on catologue toys to get a 50p toy for my daughter whose the youngest (a keyring bear ) and my son a pen.we spent what we couldnt afford at the time because my sister was single and kids didnt get much and also did the pub thing when we couldnt afford to go out.this was a few yrs ago now but youve read my thread and now see the comparison. i am standing by my guns . thankyou for your reply'

dean19_66

drivebyargument wrote: »

The part about buying presents that are never used is spot on.

I tell people not to buy me anything because I WORK and anything that I don't have I probably don't want, unless you're prepared to buy me expensive clothes which are a luxury that I clearly don't need. Even then, I'd rather choose for myself thanks.
Therefore basically any present is just CLUTTER, things that get in the way and serve no purpose. Space is a premium and when you clutter your house with things you don't want, you have no space.

Ban it. Say no to clutter.

my son at 22yrs is the same.the wife and daughter at 19yrs both prefer presents. i would give my son and girlfriend money but know they would buy for the home (in my opinion a good thing )but the wife still remembers the £15 coffee table i bought her for christmas about 20yrs ago. my daughter likes presents. my son is the most level headed but wife and daughter not so.(for info. i dont earn loadsa money for presents , the wife makes me )but i will always buy for them.

Jacks_xxx

I don't agree with your simplistic "We all get gifts as dewy eyed newlyweds to help us set up and then in our turn pay back the system by buying other newlyweds gifts when we're older." theory, because it patently doesn't work that way for massive swathes of the population Mr Lewis. :rolleyes::D

However, I would be only too happy if it became socially acceptable to stop buying expensive gifts for teenage relatives who don't like me much, whom I rarely see, and who have more disposable income than I have! (and if they don't have more money than me then they can blummen well get a p/t job! They can have one of mine! )

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: @ the Times readers though, who evidently don't have the reading comprehension skills necessary to realise that you weren't advocating giving up present buying for our nearest and dearest - just all the extra "social" presents outside the imediate family. Bless 'em.

Love Jacks xxx

tealady

I agree that a lot of present buying is a waste of time and money. Very often I have been given expensive items which I loathe and cannot return to the shop.
Its immediate family and friends only as far as I am concerned, with a small budget for each, however they all gave me a list of things they would like so that I could hunt around for the best prices.
Then I make sure I buy myself what I wan't!

ceridwen

Another vote for I dont agree with all this gift-giving spree.

Actually - its pretty much a nonsense whatever way you look at it. Sometimes presents from parents to children even arent presents at all - but clothes or something they needed to have and the parent would have had to buy them anyway.

I also agree with the earlier comment about wedding presents - all well and good when everyone takes an equal turn. At one point in their lives they give wedding presents - at another point in their life they receive wedding presents back. But - for those who never get married - then they give, but do not receive back and its a one-sided "transaction".

Re presents being given for children - at their birth or subsequently - its another one-sided "transaction" if the givers never have children of their own.

Personally - I keep gift-giving at "statutory" times down to a bare minimum number of people - because I think thats best all round.

I think the type of gift-giving that counts is where people give of their time - rather than their money - anyway:
eg doing shopping or housework for someone who cant manage it themselves for some reason
- cooking a meal to leave for them to enjoy at their leisure

or some other thoughtful gesture that probably doesnt cost any money - but shows you are genuinely thinking of their welfare as a person and giving a bit of your time to help them out in some way.