Is it time to ban Christmas presents? Blog and poll discussion

RC_46

At last - some sense in this celebrity obsessed and materialistic world!! This is the first year my husband and I have said "no presents apart from the kids". We don't have many to buy for anyway, just immediate family, but this year it's just the two nieces and one nephew.

I hate the fact that we are a nation of shoppers, that people go out every weekend and buy a load of tat that they don't want, need or can't afford - just becase it's what everyone does. People who get into debt for Christmas - what's that all about??!!!

I haven't bought for friends since I was in school. Every year gets increasingly harder to decide on gifts. Most people have the means to buy things they want and need for themselves now, and this is what happens. I am not bothered about receiving presents either. My parents usually give me cash and my sisters ask what I want. My husband buys whatever I ask for, all stuff I can quite easily buy myself and save others the bother! Christmas to us is cooking lots of fab food, having family drop in, visiting and watching a tonne of dvd's! I detest the commercialism of it and long for society to get back to good old fashioned values. God help our kids when we have them, they will be social outcasts cos we won't be spending £1k on them for Christmas!!

I am far from mean, I would spend my last £1 on someone else and very often pick up things for my mum or sisters that I know they need, they appreciate the thoughtfullnes. It's the unnecessary spending that gets to me. Why do people feel the need to impress by buying extravagent gifts and by owning lots of unneccesary tat to clutter up their home?!! I will still be appreciated by my family this year as I am hand-making chocolates and and have vowed to spend more time with them over Christmas. It's never about the money - it's the principle!

Sorry for the rant, but I have been thinking this way for years and it's carthartic to get it off my chest!! One thing I am doing this year though (and will carry on doing from now on) is a local 'operation Santa', where children are nominated by social workers to go on a list for the public to buy them a Christmas present, as otherwise they may not receive anything. This year I am buying for two ten year old girls, and am spending £25 each on them. Now that, to me, is money well spent and more than worthy - it breaks my heart to think of children waking up on Christmas day with not one present.

Frozenace

I've already pre-bought my girlfriend's present, 550 quid on a mulberry bag. I got my mum one too...

My b-day is Dec 20th and I plan to go cold turkey.

clairehi

N1AK wrote: »

...Resisting the urge to buy novelty/duff presents in that situation is something I wish more people could do!

I totally agree with this poster.

All the rows and rows of "342" gift sets of things like jam, "designer" bubble bath, Simpsons socks in the shops make me want to scream, it is such a load of pointless tat that no-one in their right mind would ever want it for themselves. And judging by the leftovers in the Jan sales, most people wouldnt buy it for anyone else either.

Various members of the extended family buy me and OH a tin of biscuits/choc each Christmas. The last thing we need in the house at Xmas is more fattening food! They clearly feel under some self-imposed obligation to "tick the box" of having got us something, but I think they just bulk buy the same thing for all nieces/nephews.

[Deleted User]

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=2076155

The above was posted in the Grabbit board today - it's half price and now costs £7.50.

For that you get -

Strawberry Extra Jam Conserve 42.5g.
Thick Cut Orange Marmalade 42.5g
Raspberry Extra Jam Conserve 42.5g
Apricot Jam Extra Conserve 42.5g
Walkers® Double Chocolate Chip Biscuits 100g e
Walkers® Fruit & Lemon Biscuits 100g e
English Breakfast Teabags 10g
Rich Roast Coffee 24g

I sourced all these items for less than that and in full sized jars and in the case of the biscuits, 200g packs, and also much larger quantities for the tea and coffee.

So this gift set was originally £15 and now it's though of as a bargain at £7.50

It's not even worth half that.

pie81

Hear hear Martin!

Our family has no young kids at all (the youngest is 23!), all of us have most things we need or want already, and so we stopped buying each other Christmas presents a couple of years ago.

Instead we give charity donations ("give a goat" or "plant a hedge" or "save someone's sight" etc). Still gives us something to unwrap, doesn't clutter up the house with tat, saves us all from the horror of christmas shopping, nobody knows how much we spent, and there's a nice warm glow from giving to charity at a time which can seem sickeningly selfish otherwise. Works brilliantly.

To those who say "I love giving presents"... ask yourself, does the recipient truly enjoy receiving your presents? are you sure? personally I often don't enjoy receiving presents... either because I have to pretend I like the gift, or because I feel guilty about not having reciprocated... sounds ungrateful I know!

KayMM

20 years ago my husband and I got married on Nov18th, two weeks afer my husband's brother. As you can imagine it was a very expensive run up to Christmas in 1989!
Luckily common sense prevailed and we all decided not to spend too much over the Christmas period, just enjoyed a lovely dinner, some drinks (ok lots of drinks!) and good company.

Over the years I have been given some dreadful, thoughtless and useless presents by members of my own family - they display a complete lack of thought, imagination and effort. Despite my agonising over their gifts I quickly realised that this gift giving was tokenism of the worst kind. Most of these gifts I have given to school fetes/charity shops/sold at car boot sales.

Being measured with your spending over Christmas and getting friends and family to agree to spend just on their own children takes the pressure off everyone. :xmassmile

tingly

I tried the 'no presents for adults, only for the kids ' thing last year. After pre warning the adults that we weren't buying, and also didnt expect anything (to which we got a mixed reception), a strange thing happened. although the first half hour of christmas itself seemed a bit weird without opening anything, by the evening time, most people we know had also decided it was a good idea, that the whole thing is an anti climax even if you DO buy presents, and to save themselves the hassle and stress this year. Hope that helps someone make the decision. The decision was not based on affordability, but to be honest, if i want to buy someone something, i just buy it, I dont wait until i am 'told' to do so by a calendar.!! I fully agree with what Martin wrote, but have never known how to articulate those sentiments properly-and invariably get thought of as a miserable 'christmatarianist!!'

candice56

This year I have been surprised at the peer pressure on me to buy for my (now) 5 and half month old son, 5 MONTHS!!! I said from the start I wouldnt gt him anything because he doesn't know any better and call it tight, call it careful, call it what you will. Having a baby is expensive, I just bought a high chair and new clothes - why should I be pressured into gifts for him too -I being made to feel like a bad mummy but I know he already has sooo much and isn't aware enough to even appreciate that.

I love to give to my Mam and this year my aunty also as a way of passing on financial help that they otherwise wouldn't accept so I'm with you Martin, all the way to the Christmas bank!

tiamaria

pie81 wrote: »

Hear hear Martin!

To those who say "I love giving presents"... ask yourself, does the recipient truly enjoy receiving your presents? are you sure? personally I often don't enjoy receiving presents... either because I have to pretend I like the gift, or because I feel guilty about not having reciprocated... sounds ungrateful I know!

I'm pretty sure my family enjoys the presents i buy them - this is because we have a "Xmas list" which goes up a couple of months before Xmas and we put on it all the "ideas" of what we would like, it's still a surprise as they don't know what they'll get but they will like it because it's on their list;)

as for the few other friends i buy for I pick them something I know they will like - a perfume they always wear, another friend loves body shop coconut body butter so I will get that for her, another friend collects cats designed by a certain artist, I try to buy a present specific to them that they've said they like, so yes, i think they enjoy receiving them.

I wouldn't just pick up a pair of socks:p

Darkspoon

passatrider wrote: »

Here Here!:j

It's "hear hear", not "here here" but I do agree with you.

Darkspoon