insincere apologies - acceptable?

Tom1234

Running_Horse wrote: »

You sound like a bunch of drama queens. Seriously.

Unfortunately I have to agree. No one's going to die from an arguement over a dirty plate. Just move on. If you feel you have a friendship worth working on with them, then work on it. Otherwise move on, and either move out, or just treat them like flatmates, rather than mates.

It's not rocket science.

WolfSong2000

Well, I apologised to friend I exploded at, and tried to explain why I was getting frustrated...went in one ear and out the other, but at least I tried.

To explain things a little better, we need BT line for broadband - that's the only reason it's there. Have spent over a year chasing them up for bills, chargeable calls, etc. And it's not just once - I have to remind them at least 5 times. This month I've told them verbally at least 4 times, then left a note on communal noticeboard in flat, then highlighted note...still nothing. And then they wonder why I get furstrated?

I am, honest to God, one of the most laid back people you were ever meet...was in a car crash a few years back that could have killed me, and I was totally calm, throughout, making sure the driver was okay, waiting for police to show, etc, but even I have my limits and they're being stretched to breaking point.

I even got told off for "leaving notes around the flat"...I've left 2 in the past 2 weeks, and they were just to let everyone know about the internet situation. One other flatmate (who shall remain nameless) leaves notes everywhere about stupid things. I guess it's just the hypocrisy, on top of everything else...I've sat and sucked it up for over 2 years and I've just hit my breaking point.

Mentioned in another thread one flatmate who I went on holiday with over the summer to Nashville...biggest mistake of my life as all she did was whinge and complain. I know Nashville well, while she'd never been, so took her out every evening, we went to a musicn festival, etc, but she still complained we never did anything, I never took her out anywhere, and even complained about having to tip a taxi driver. At that point I just gave up and walked away. lol. Has been playing on my mind ever since, though, and while I've tried to patch things up, I've realised I no longer want to be her friend, which is sad, but her attitude just...well, it's awful.

As for the stress...yes I know I don't know what others are going through totally, but until recently I was the "go-to" person in the flat. Some of the stuff they got worked up over...one, for instance complains to everyone every time she has an essay due in. We all have essays to do, but she will actively seek people out and complain to them about how much she is panicking...this has been going on for 4 years. Another used to come to my room at all hours in tears at least one every 6-8 weeks for various reasons. I cry on average once a year so maybe I'm not the most sympathetic, but this girl also regularly puts me down (I'm rather scatty) yet ignores the fact that academically, I'm way ahead of her. (I'm not nasty enough to bring that up).

Anyhow, I keep telling myself that I just have to get through the next few months...once my exams are over with next year I can just leave. I have no intention of attending my graduation and just want out as quickly as possible.

Tom1234

You have the right idea there. You seem to place a lot of emphasis on whether or not these idiots like you. I think you're pretty clear on the fact you don't actually like them, so what does it matter?

At uni, I was blamed for a grill pan being burnt to a crisp as it was 'mine'. It wasn't, but no one wanted to hear it. So I threw it away. Next day, someone is moaning 'where the hell is my grill pan'. Que reply 'I assumed you had given it to me, as you were insisting it was mine when it was all burnt and horrible - I threw it away.'

They had a strop, and I think eventually they fished their pan out of the bin, and scrubbed it. Needless to say no one tried to pin their un-done washing up on me again.

Bottom line in situations like these are that if you don't like it, tell them where to go. You don't have to like these people, just live with them for the next 12 weeks or so

minerva_windsong

I haven't read the whole thread, but having been in the position where I didn't really get on with my housemates for religious reasons, I would say that your best bet is to use your house purely for sleeping and eating, and to spend the rest of your time either at other friends' houses or in the library.

As I've said before, just because they're your housemates doesn't mean they have to be your friends.

melancholly

yeah, asking £2 for your time isn't going to go down well..... it only inflames the situation. yes, they're rubbish, but you're always sorting things out in the end so you're kind of enabling them!

you have to decide if getting stressed where you are is going to be more of a problem than moving.... your call, but make the decision and if you stay, try to clear the air and not get bogged down in details. we've all had rubbish housemates (or in my case, thieving ones!), but you need to find a way to cope - getting really angry all the time and chronically stressed about it is bad for you.