Positive vibes please - finally bitting the bullet

kate1976

Sending lots of positive vibes your way, good luck and even though he may be angry at first give him a bit of space and time and he'll hopefully get his head round it!

scw1

Your all being so nice! A big thanks. I dont know whats happened but something has really clicked today and this is it - I am going to sort my life out once and for all and do something positive about these debts. The most important thing in my life is my hubby and unborn child and these debts hanging over my head is damaging that. I am going to sort myself out I have to for all our sakes.

tesuhoha

Its a good thing to do it now because once your child gets older it becomes more difficult; you will want to buy him/her lots of things. A baby doesnt need so much so pleased dont be tempted to spend too much. Hope you will come back tomorrow and let us know how you got on.

lynzpower

My opinion is "dont let him take control". You can do it. I promise you.

I was absolutely shambolic until I came here, when I was doing mental stuff like bouncing all my accounts all the time and out of cash a week after payday. I blew a whole months wages at glastonbury, then bounced the mortgage to booze on. Im now reformed :A and you can be too.

Dont let it scare you. I didnt know the APRS either, or how much was owed where but the more you know the more control you have. Look at is as your project. If you were building a house you couldnt afford to balls it up. building your future is the same. Now you are here with us as moneysavingexperts, you will be one too soon, as long as you throw yourself into it with the enthusiasm for change that it needs.

first step - whats owed where & snowball calc to get a debt free date
second step - smile, it could be worse
third step - cut back as much as you can - this is what your SOAs for
fourth step with your proceeds of cutbacks pay off as much debt as quickly as you can while keeping the wolf from the door
5th step - carry on for the long haul
and then plan for your future

Honestly, dont panic, It could be worse.

Welcome!!

scw1

I will come on tomorrow, hopefully I wont be in tears or anything. Have confessed to the lady in work that I am telling hubby about a debt I am in (havent gone into details) so she is aware that I may be upset coming into work. Hopefully though it should be a weight lifted off my shoulders and I might get more than 3 hours of sleep tonight.

scw1

lynzpower wrote:

My opinion is "dont let him take control". You can do it. I promise you.

I was absolutely shambolic until I came here, when I was doing mental stuff like bouncing all my accounts all the time and out of cash a week after payday. I blew a whole months wages at glastonbury, then bounced the mortgage to booze on. Im now reformed :A and you can be too.

Dont let it scare you. I didnt know the APRS either, or how much was owed where but the more you know the more control you have. Look at is as your project. If you were building a house you couldnt afford to balls it up. building your future is the same. Now you are here with us as moneysavingexperts, you will be one too soon, as long as you throw yourself into it with the enthusiasm for change that it needs.

first step - whats owed where & snowball calc to get a debt free date
second step - smile, it could be worse
third step - cut back as much as you can - this is what your SOAs for
fourth step with your proceeds of cutbacks pay off as much debt as quickly as you can while keeping the wolf from the door
5th step - carry on for the long haul
and then plan for your future

Honestly, dont panic, It could be worse.

Welcome!!

Whats the snowball calc? seen it in a couple of posts but not sure what it is! Still working on the SOA between that and work. Will get there eventually by 5pm

Loopy_Laura_2

Wishing you the best of luck....he will still love you no matter what and will appreciate your honesty. My OH took it well when I told him, he just wished I'd told him sooner so he could have helped me sooner!

dinkylou

There are many stories on here about people in a similar position to you and were very scared of telling their partners for fear of losing them etc.

Have a look at Moozie's thread or any of the others.

I'm sure you'll find as others have, that when it is not just on your shoulders your OH wont react as badly as you think and you can face and beat this together.

Some people even think it has brought them closer together by overcoming problems.

Just try not to get upset, give him a bit of time to get his head round it and then come on here for more help and support.

TerryB_3

Good luck for tonight. Don't chicken out, because you have to do it sometime.

A friend of mine was in the same situation except they have four kids. He came home and his missus was crying. She told him everything. He said that he just couldn't get mad at her. They worked it out together and are back on track.

Good luck. Sometimes the fear of something is worse than the actual something.

lynzpower

here it is http://www.whatsthecost.co.uk/snowball.aspx

basically the premise is you pay the minimum payments on the cheapest debt & the highest payments you can on the higest APR debt. Once youve got rid of the highest one, you then give the majority to the next highest debt and so on, it gathers speed until BAM! you are throwing all of your money at free or low interest debt. HAve a nose at it!