I'm pregnant

Sidekick2

shopsalot - to be honest i'm already sacrificing my social life..and i only found out i was pregnant last saturday! i had two parties tonight and i'm at neither, i have a few social events tomorrow night and i don't plan on going to any...mainly because i won't be able to drink. i used to be a big social drinker and the fact that i can't do it now means that i won't have fun. it's a very sad fact :-( i don't miss booze - and i really thought i would but i'm sad that all my other mates are out there having a ball and i will have to cut that out.
i don't mind though it just gets me down a little - completely normal. i'm only 26 and i live in a very studenty town with fantastic friends. i'm looking forward to going out to dinner and a movie with my OH rather than out clubbing.

tandraig

thats normal sidekick - also your priorities change almost the moment you know you are pregnant!!! suddenly getting ratfaced and clubbing seem absurd when you know that at nine o clock you are going to be dead tired and will fall asleep anywhere (happened to me in local very lively pub and i havent lived it down yet).
lol - be prepared - you will become intensely interested in anything to do with pregnancy and birth! oh - must warn you - all the mums you meet will regale you with stories of THEIR pregnancy and birth experiences!!! ignore them - yours will be different!!!
get the feeling that you are over the shock now - and into pleased and proud stage! once again - congratulations.

redstararnie76

Hi Sidekick,
Most things seem to have been said, but thought I would add my twopenny's worth!
When I got pregnant with my daughter, it wasn't planned. I was on about £17k at the time, and my husband a bit less. He then got made redundant while I was still on maternity leave. At the time I was terrified because everyone kept telling me how expensive children were, but we managed without really going without. I got most things I needed off Ebay (cot was a fiver, buggy £30 etc). Also, when I told people at work and family etc, we were overwhelmed with bags of hand me down clothes (in great condition) and equipment. People want to help when there's a baby (I didn't really tell people about our financial difficulties).
When I went back to work, I did find the childcare terrifying - our nursery charged £37 a day and I work full-time, but there is help available - you already know about the vouchers, but also you may find additional support towards childcare. It doesn't tend to be forever, in most areas you are entitled to between 12 and 15 hours free childcare after your child turns 3 (and there was talk about making this 2, but I think that might be on hold now?) which now saves me around £150 a month in childcare costs. The other thing you find is that you normally end up saving money in other areas, like socialising as you don't go out as much.
Basically, these things tend to work themselves out, so don't panic. You'll have plenty of time while you're on maternity leave to plan whether you want/can afford to go back to work on the same terms as you are on now, and also to look at the various childcare options.
(sorry for mega post!)

Sidekick2

tandraig - your post couldnt be more right. it's so amazing how much my priorities have changed you know. two weeks ago i would be the first down the pub on a friday arvo after work...this friday i stayed late and met my colleagues at the pub, had a softdrink then left. i didn't mind! shocking! usually i'm the last one there. (They don't know i'm pregnant but i fear they may know now due to my lack of drinking)
I'm also obsessed with looking at pregnancy info! There's so much I didn't know - like you can't eat brie or camembert (my favourite cheeses!). I know it's really early days in my pregnancy and who knows when i'll get a scan but i'm excited now! I'm over the scared phase. and it's mostly because of all the lovely people on this forum

nikki2804

MrsTine wrote: »

I haven't read all the replies but just a few things:

CHILDREN ARE NOT CHEAP! Sorry to burst your illusions here LOL

Children may not be cheap but they do not need to be mega expensive either. I fell pregnant at 20. Both me and the OH are in good jobs (over 30k a year between us) but my OH had some debt. I really worried how we were going to afford anything, even though I hate myself for this, I considered a termination as it didn't think it was fair to bring a child into the world at this point. In the end after hours of sitting down with my OH and considering things we realised that in the end we both loved the baby (even though it wasn't born) and we would just make it work.

From 12 weeks pregnant I just picked things up bit by bit while my OH paid of his debt. Asda, Matalan and Primark are excellent for baby clothes (Asda baby sales are especially good) I got some lovely clothes off ebay (most are brand new due to the baby growing so fast)

I was lucky enough that my parents were in the position to stand up and say we'll buy your cot, pram etc. Even then they went to a shop and paid for it bit by bit.

In the end my baby ended up with more than he needed.

I couldn't breastfeed (i did try) and yes I do find baby milk is expensive but if you have a Costco near by they do it a little bit cheaper. Lewis weaned from 14 weeks so his milk intake is going down.

Nappies are normally on offer in most places at some point. Bit hard to bulk buy though as you do not know what size they will be born at (eg my small 5lb baby came out at 7lb7)

You may need to cut out some luxuries i.e. nights out, shopping spree's etc but when you look into your babies eyes its all worth it.

At the end of the day as long as the baby is loved and has a roof over his head (and food and nappies lol) they will be happy. I don't have a lot to spend on Lewis but I spend time with him, I play with him, and every person who see's him comments on how good a baby he is, how content and how happy.

Also you will be surprised how many people will want to help you out. I was given gifts by people that I had only met once!

PS. Thought I would add, We are on just over 32k a year and we get £88 every 4 weeks CTC, although if your circumstances are different they will be too. £20 p/w CHB and I got my Health in Pregnancy grant (£190)

Sorry for the long post but I am a reasonably new mummy too and know exactly how you feel. But you can be parents on a budget. You'll find a way to make it work.

And congratulations

Sidekick2

thank you for your very helpful post nikki. how's it all going with lewis? you're lucky he is happy and content..i've been on the bus and seen some shocker children screaming their heads off. oh dear

pisces_cat

Don't think I have much to add to all the other yseful posts - just wanted to say congratulations:T and add my reassurance that babies do not need to be expensive!

I would encourage you to put money towards taking as much maternity leave as you can rather than buying fancy stuff - baby wants you not designer clthes and its heartbreaking if you have to return to work before you feel ready.
Pregnancy is soo exciting.... it can feel hard to miss out on the socialising etc but in the end it is so worth it

Good luck!

nikki2804

Sidekick2 wrote: »

thank you for your very helpful post nikki. how's it all going with lewis? you're lucky he is happy and content..i've been on the bus and seen some shocker children screaming their heads off. oh dear

Hi, Lewis is great He's just such a good baby. I keep getting told its because I had a 'calm' labour. 10 hours without swearing - hardest thing I've ever had to do (the not swearing not the labour:rotfl:)

Don't get me wrong, he has his moments, but he can't be good all the time.

Just wait until you get your scan! I bet your all excited

Yes, unfortunately there are some shocker children, its when there parents just sit and watch them blatantly mis behave - that really annoys me!

jcr16

Hiya, congrats on your pregnancy. i had a daughter at 22, a son at 23 and another son at 26. and it is wonderful. Enjoy every minute as it does go so fast.

I'm not they still do it, but when my son was born in 2008 i was able to apply for the £500 maternity grant. you don't need to pay it back. you get a form which your midwife needs to sign, if it is your first child it is best to wait until child is born .once you have sent it in they then send you either a giro slip or pay it into your back. i had mine paid out within a week.

It was a great help i used it to buy my big purchases ie pram.

not sure of the name, but if your search maternity grant hopefully something will come up.

dizzybuff

Side kick , not read the whole thread, but I work for local government as well , get the same package as you . It is well worth looking at salery sacrifice dependant on what grade you are on . Can save you a packet . Im back at work full time now and have a childminder , shes fab and does so much with my son. Childminders tend to be flexible and less expensive than a nursery. But first things first , have the baby , go to mother and baby groups and playgroups get to know some local mums , you will find childminders go to these as well so you can see them in action. Also have a look and see if theres a sure start near you and visit that too for some advise. BF is easy once you get used to it . Ask to see a NCT support worker or midwife for a few tips or pop along to a support group, your hv will advise you were they are..

At the end of the day congrats and welcome to the wonderful yet challenging world of being a mummy.