Confused

jellyhead

It may be that his wife's family have decided between them not to bother with gifts anymore, and perhaps his wife assumes that he has talked to you, but he is assuming that his wife has done it. I don't mean to generalise but presents etc. are often left to the female, or perhaps I just know lots of lazy men lol!

Errata

The OP says she gets on well with her brother, so why not have a converstion with him about it ?

Savvy_Sue

Maybe, the wife decided that if her husband wanted to give gifts, he could buy them himself. Which, as we all know, is beyond the capability of some men.

We don't get birthday cards for the boys from one of my brothers, because his wife says "he's got so many nephews and neices", which is true if you count hers in as well as his. But HE has fewer than 10 on our side of the family, which is not so many to my way of thinking. However it's clearly up to him to buy them, and he chooses not to do so.

UKTigerlily

I'd personally keep buying for his kids, you don't give to recieve & it's not their fault if their parents no longer buy for yours, though I can understand how you must feel. My Mum & her Sister always got for each others kids & my Mum still buys for her Sisters two girls, now aged 33 & 30, but her Sister doesn't get anything for my bro (26) & I now, understandably as we're getting older, but she stopped years ago. I don't blame her for still buying for her nieces at all though. I wouldn't ask him tbh as he doesn't need to give a reason, though it'd be nice if he did.

gothic_girl

I'm currently facing this, all one side of family ( who shall remain nameless!) are to tight or lazy to buy presents or cards or even fiver in a card from the lot of em (7 adults one kid). Yet expect a present! I have been good natured for 5 years now and buying pressies for everyone, believe me the approach for me didn't work so last year my mum saw how upset I was at the previous years so even asked them are they going to which they replied 'no, what is she getting us this year'.

Last year they each got a bottle of wine free from my then work, wrapped up as i could not face not giving them anything. I would rather pay when they apprieciate the effort only one I will buy for now is my 12 year old cousin as I have always done, as he is a child and cannot make the decision. Why should he suffer when all that side are pr*ts?

Stephb1986_2

I think you should ask if your buying gift for eachother this year as he never bought anything for your lot last year. Just so you know where you stand instead of him taking the mick.

Steph xx

shellsuit

When you gave the gifts and cards last year, did you get a thank you from him and his wife?

I'd ask him ~ just say that you were wondering if they are buying gifts this year as they didn't bother last year and see what he says x

JammyDodger

Thanks everyone. We didn't get any thank yous last year which does make the whole thing a lot worse. I'm so upset as up until now things have been good between us but this has soured everything - it shouldn't but it has.

As lots of you have said it's not the childrens fault though so I am just going to buy things for the kids, the adults can get stuffed lol. Things are tighter for us this year so the gifts will be smaller but given with love and thought as always.

My husband is not happy, his family are good as gold and have been bombarding us with requests for Argos numbers for pressies for our kids for weeks now. It's caused some tension between us, he things I'm too soft which is very true. I'd really be soft than hard hearted though.

Thanks again xxx

LJM

i agree the children shouldnt have to suffer for their ignorance but i would ask them why,i cant believe they have avoided explaining this to you for so many months but sort it out now before xmas as you dont want a big showdown xmas day in front of the kids

liuhut

Can I ask, how do you know for a FACT that they have no money worries?? Just because they go on two holidays etc, they might be struggling with all the presents? I'd ring and speak to him, might be on of those times when you have been making yourself sick over something and the other person has as well??