pls help, what can we do???

amandalovesbargains

my fiance works full time. he gets around £23k a year.
we have been having problems with our 5 year old son since he was 2. so far he has been diagnosed with delayed development, behavioural problems, and hyperactive problems, not yet has he been diagnosed with what they think he may have (ADD,ADHD) OR BORDER LINE. i am on antidepressants and quite ill and been assedded by the mental health team, mainly due to not baan able to cope with my son, i have gone mad|!!
anyway, its got that bad fiance marc has almost lost his job so many times due to having to come home to help me with our son when he gets one of his bad days. today is one of them, again..he is on his way home!! well his work have now tolf them all they are making redundancies and the ones who dont work as hard/attandance ect will be the first to go. his boss has been very helpful so far, but now its gone to the directors, so his boss can no longer help.
we wondered if he gave his job up what could we get? if anything.
whjat i want to know is.
will he be out on job seakers, cause they wont see any reason why he cant work. and what will that mean? does he have to go for numerous interviews and just say 'no' to all, but then will our benefits be stopped due to him saying no to the jobs just so he can be at home to help?
how to i get letters ect to say i need the help and he has to be here? or will they make him get a hjob between the hours of 10-2, when our son is in school? we also have a 9 yr old and a 2 yr old.
we pay alot in rent £600 per month, and will the benefit agency pay for all of this for our 3 bedroom house? plus there is a 3 month waiting liust for benefits to be paid in our town, so how do we pay it in them 3 months?
i am really loosing the plot here, at drs every few weeks, begging them to get us help, they say they will make enquiries but we dont hear anything.
i am on different medication now stronger ones, sleeping pills and cant even focus during the day, fall asleep alot.
please help, what can we do?

karenx

If he gave up his job he may be sanctioned for up to 26 weeks for JSA. Ie no money. Once on JSA though he will have to be activly seeking work and accept a job that comes up. You cant just sign on and not want to take a job.

dmg24

Are you and/ or your child in receipt of DLA? If so, at what level?

In the interim, I would contact social services today for some practical support.

amandalovesbargains

no, we dont get dla, we applied a year ago, for it to be declined as he can walk ect ect.
now been told we need to get medium dla in order to get income support. so now we need to go down that road. its so hard when the illness is mental rather then psysical to prove either way.
we are going to speak to the dr we dont know what to do.

amandalovesbargains

could he get dla for me? i clearly cant work because of my mental problems, my medication is that strong, i have been advised not to drive??

dmg24

You could both be eligible for DLA, but for the conditions described you may only get a lower rate award, and therefore no eligibility for Carers Allowance. Also, a straightforward DLA application could take several months - a more complex case, or a need to appeal could mean that you may not get an award for up to a year (or longer).

You need help now. Please call social services. You can do this yourself.

itsnotfair_2

Dla is notoriously hard to get. if you want to apply for you you will need mental health workers on side who can honestly give an account of your condition ie are you a danger to yourself or other are you safe to be out alone.
I have not ever known a person to need medium dla to get income support.
As for housing benefit mostly people are on LHA and this is based upon the number of bedrooms you need. In your case you would need only 2 so that is all the allowance would cover.

Oldernotwiser

If your husband's company see that you're getting all the practical help available through social services and your own efforts, perhaps they might consider giving him another chance. It can be a tough life on benefits.

merlin68

What she means is not the dla but the fact that you need to get middle rate dla to claim carers allowance, then you claim income support as a carer instead of jsa.

MissMoneypenny

amandalovesbargains wrote: »

we have been having problems with our 5 year old son since he was 2. so far he has been diagnosed with delayed development, behavioural problems, and hyperactive problems, not yet has he been diagnosed with what they think he may have (ADD,ADHD) OR BORDER LINE. i am on antidepressants and quite ill and been assedded by the mental health team, mainly due to not baan able to cope with my son, i have gone mad|!!

Does you son go to a special school? If he does, can you ask the teachers there about getting more respite?

exitroute?

Our area has a Homestart scheme in which volunteers come and help in the house with chidren and whatever else is needed. I assume this is done through Social Services.