Feel job is not safe but want to start TTC next month - applying for jobs

MrsTinks

carolineb23 wrote: »

Catzpaws you sound exactly like me!! I really want to start TTC but am worried about my job. My head is saying wait until middle of next year to get some more money saved, and my heart is saying I can't wait any longer!! I think what MrsTine was saying about company maternity pay is that in some companies you have to have been there for a certain period of time before you get their 'enhanced' mat leave package. The NHS works like this I believe. If you've been there less than a year I think it's just SMP.
I haven't much in the way of advice I'm afraid, as I feel the same as you, but I hope you make the best decision to make you happy.

Correct - where I work forexample you have to have been continually employed for over a year before you qualify for the company maternity "package"... you'd get SMP (which is not much let me tell you!!!) but it's something to bear in mind in your maths before deciding.
I know in a way we were lucky... we were anticapating a long wait to fall pregnant... little did we expect it to happen first try! I know you're worried about only having one ovarie etc... but if you fell quickly first time then there is nothing to say you won't again... you sound as much of a control freak as me and that's why I'm saying - be debt free first I wouldn't swap my beautiful baby for anything, but if we could have been debt free first or had more savings in the bank then that would be the only things I'd change
If we were debt free I could easily afford to stay home longer

MrsTinks

Catzpaws wrote: »

If still job around, my current employers would probably be flexible with part-time hours/job share/working from home.

Sorry to hear your employers have not been accomodating. Stress you don't need. Will you only stay if they agree to flexible working?

It's not a matter of if I will only stay if they agree - I CAN'T stay if they don't... my job would take me to sites up to 3 hours from home - I can't be that far from my daughters daycare in case she's taken ill. We have no relatives that could provide the "in case" cover as they all live abroad. My "flexibility" isn't my hours - it's staying "fixed" for 3-4 days a week - my husband would then do 1-2 days "cover" meaning my daughter is in care 5 days a week. This isn't what I wanted but what we need to do
I'd still be incredibly flexible in my hours as customers can call any time of day - 10pm, 5am... you name it.

And there was no indication that my employer wouldn't be flexible before I fell pregnant either... little did I know we'd be bought out and our department change greatly - but hohum

I am certainly not saying that you should let it be a reason to not TTC! But because like you I'm a total control freak then it's something that I know really threw me because I suddenly couldn't plan for everything etc... and I guess like me you want to plan as much as possible to avoid the unknown At least if you know about it then you can sort of plan for things...

as for maternity policies for companies... you could always post on here asking if anyone works for xyz and could they let you know what the policy is

Catzpaws

carolineb23 wrote: »

Catzpaws you sound exactly like me!! I really want to start TTC but am worried about my job. My head is saying wait until middle of next year to get some more money saved, and my heart is saying I can't wait any longer!! I think what MrsTine was saying about company maternity pay is that in some companies you have to have been there for a certain period of time before you get their 'enhanced' mat leave package. The NHS works like this I believe. If you've been there less than a year I think it's just SMP.
I haven't much in the way of advice I'm afraid, as I feel the same as you, but I hope you make the best decision to make you happy.

Thanks carolineb23, it's definitely a tough set of decisions. I do feel in limbo at the moment... it's rubbish! I swing between one viewpoint one day and then the other another. Problem is, there is no 'right' or 'wrong' decision...

Hope you make the right decision too - whatever that is!

Catzpaws

MrsTine wrote: »

Correct - where I work forexample you have to have been continually employed for over a year before you qualify for the company maternity "package"... you'd get SMP (which is not much let me tell you!!!) but it's something to bear in mind in your maths before deciding.
I know in a way we were lucky... we were anticapating a long wait to fall pregnant... little did we expect it to happen first try! I know you're worried about only having one ovarie etc... but if you fell quickly first time then there is nothing to say you won't again... you sound as much of a control freak as me and that's why I'm saying - be debt free first I wouldn't swap my beautiful baby for anything, but if we could have been debt free first or had more savings in the bank then that would be the only things I'd change
If we were debt free I could easily afford to stay home longer

Oh, I know it's a big drop isn't it, SMP is next to nothing! But, I guess some provision is better than nil (i.e. if I didn't qualify...).

I know I can be a bit of a control freak. I like to think about it as risk minimisation to get the best outcome (sounds like I should be in insurance - tho I'm not!)....

I think I'll carry on 'casually' looking for alternative work - just in case I am made redundant. If I happen to fall pregnant before I find something, then that's that decision sorted. If I find another job, then I'll wait for a bit.

Mely

I understand when some women have to return to work after having a baby,due to money issues. Perhaps their situation has changed since becoming pregnant,so they have no choice! But to become pregnant already knowing that you will have to return to work..well i dont understand it! Whatis the point in having a baby when you have to put it into a nursery? And dont say about the time you actually manage to spend with the baby/child is quality time...thats nonsense! Also career women that have babies knowing full well that they will pop one out then put it into a nursery and then they go straight back to work! Its just ridiculously selfish,and 'want your cake and eat it!' At the babys expense. A baby needs to be nurtured by its mother and not a nursery nurse or palmed off to someone else! And its all so acceptable these days. Whats the point in all this?

Catzpaws

Mely wrote: »

I understand when some women have to return to work after having a baby,due to money issues. Perhaps their situation has changed since becoming pregnant,so they have no choice! But to become pregnant already knowing that you will have to return to work..well i dont understand it! Whatis the point in having a baby when you have to put it into a nursery? And dont say about the time you actually manage to spend with the baby/child is quality time...thats nonsense! Also career women that have babies knowing full well that they will pop one out then put it into a nursery and then they go straight back to work! Its just ridiculously selfish,and 'want your cake and eat it!' At the babys expense. A baby needs to be nurtured by its mother and not a nursery nurse or palmed off to someone else! And its all so acceptable these days. Whats the point in all this?

Mely, I think every woman is different in terms of how they balance work and family-life. Today, women have far greater opportunities. We get educated, carve out a career, etc. etc. before we get to the baby stage - women like me. By this stage, we're in our late 20s or early-mid 30s, and then certain factors might then come into play that means a woman might then go choose to return back to work - e.g. to sustain a professional career (this is hardly a crime!), for mental stimulation and challenge, etc.

I don't think it's 'ridiculously selfish'. I think mums/families need to do what suits their circumstances. You may not understand it, but, trust me, other people may not understand your choices either. Everyone is different.

Anyway, not that I think you're having a stab at me or anyone specifically, but I'm not exactly planning to return to work full time after having children. This is why I'm working on becoming debt-free - to give me freedom of choice.

And, ultimately, this is what it's down to: choice.

MrsTinks

Mely wrote: »

I understand when some women have to return to work after having a baby,due to money issues. Perhaps their situation has changed since becoming pregnant,so they have no choice! But to become pregnant already knowing that you will have to return to work..well i dont understand it! Whatis the point in having a baby when you have to put it into a nursery? And dont say about the time you actually manage to spend with the baby/child is quality time...thats nonsense! Also career women that have babies knowing full well that they will pop one out then put it into a nursery and then they go straight back to work! Its just ridiculously selfish,and 'want your cake and eat it!' At the babys expense. A baby needs to be nurtured by its mother and not a nursery nurse or palmed off to someone else! And its all so acceptable these days. Whats the point in all this?

And I think everyone is certainly entitled to their views but please don't have a pop at women who wish to continue to be contributing members of society just because you don't

Mrs.D

Mely wrote: »

But to become pregnant already knowing that you will have to return to work..well i dont understand it! Whatis the point in having a baby when you have to put it into a nursery? And dont say about the time you actually manage to spend with the baby/child is quality time...thats nonsense! Also career women that have babies knowing full well that they will pop one out then put it into a nursery and then they go straight back to work! Its just ridiculously selfish,and 'want your cake and eat it!' At the babys expense. A baby needs to be nurtured by its mother and not a nursery nurse or palmed off to someone else! And its all so acceptable these days. Whats the point in all this?

Ouch!

I'll be returning to work after 7 months. If anyone in our household 'gives up' work, it will be my DH as he earns considerably less than me.

Catz - you need to do what's right for you hun.

In Feb this year my company announced a restructing. I've been with them for 8 years and am very loyal. DH and had already started talking about TTC (I came off depo in Sept 08 in readiness). We did discuss putting it off due to the uncertainty, but I'm glad we didn't.

I'm now 16 weeks pregnant. The restructuring is STILL ongoing. I may or may not get a job out of it, but my company does not (yet) have a policy of compolsory reduncancy. I'll probably find out whether I have a job in a couple of months. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

In the meantime, the baby has been a ray of light in what has been a very difficult year - all doom and gloom at work as people constantly discuss the restructuring.

Like MrsTine said though, the first trimester can be really tough. I've had constant morning sickness since week 4 and I can not begin to tell you how physically exhausted I constantly feel (normally in bed (or asleep on the sofa) by 9pm!). I personally would not have been able to cope with a new job or new company in this state.

Go with your heart. You work to live, not live to work.

mountainofdebt

One thing to consider is that on most application forms they ask you for the number of days had off due to sickness & reason for that absence.

Now you'll have obviously had time off when you lost your baby and it may raise the question (if only on their minds and not asked) that you may be considering TTC again and may go against you.

Only a thought

Mely

Catzpaws wrote: »

Mely, I think every woman is different in terms of how they balance work and family-life. Today, women have far greater opportunities. We get educated, carve out a career, etc. etc. before we get to the baby stage - women like me. By this stage, we're in our late 20s or early-mid 30s, and then certain factors might then come into play that means a woman might then go choose to return back to work - e.g. to sustain a professional career (this is hardly a crime!), for mental stimulation and challenge, etc.

I don't think it's 'ridiculously selfish'. I think mums/families need to do what suits their circumstances. You may not understand it, but, trust me, other people may not understand your choices either. Everyone is different.

Anyway, not that I think you're having a stab at me or anyone specifically, but I'm not exactly planning to return to work full time after having children. This is why I'm working on becoming debt-free - to give me freedom of choice.

And, ultimately, this is what it's down to: choice.

Catzpaws...i most certainly wasnt having a stab at you or anyone else in this thread. I asked a genuine question!
You say that women want to go back to work to sustain a professional career. This isnt due to money problems (if it was then i would understand). They basically want a professional career AND a baby too! That is basically 'having your cake and eat it'. If having a baby doesnt challenge and stimulate you enough and you have to palm it off and go to work for that stimulation, then that is incredibly selfish and its the baby that misses out!
Why wouldnt people understand my choices? I decided to have children and as a mum i knew that the best thing for my babies was to be at home with them and nurture them! The whole concept of motherhood has been distorted in recent years, which is such a shame for the babies. When i had my children we found it hard going financially, but it was definately a price worth paying and i dont regret a second of it. If i knew i would choose to return to work after the baby was born,then i wouldnt have had one-its pointless!
As for freedom of choice. The baby doesnt have a choice does it?