Feel job is not safe but want to start TTC next month - applying for jobs

Catzpaws

7 months ago I posted on this board to say that I wanted to start a family but was scared of losing independence (thread is here). I got some really good advice, and decided to put plans on hold for a while. But then, a few months later, I felt more sorted in my mind and we decided to stop contraception and see what happens.

I actually fell pregnant straight away, but sadly it was an ectopic pregnancy. It was quite a scare as it ruptured, I ended up in hospital and having my right tube removed, blah blah.

Anyway, through all the emotional upheaval of this, I decided that I was actually ready and the plan is to now start trying next month after our holiday (slightly increased risk of another ectopic so wanted to make sure I'm in this country should anything happen).

BUT, now I don't feel secure in my job. I've heard through someone in work that they're considering restructuring. Should that happen, I'll be out of a job. My industry is very competitive, things have been getting quieter and quieter.

So, I have applied for a couple of jobs (to see what's out there, but not tried very hard to look for another job), but I'm kind of in limbo as I don't think I can, morally, really start a job and then fall pregant, can I? This kind of thing is frowned upon, I'm sure - despite what the law states re: statutory maternity leave.

I'm 32 and don't want to wait much longer. But, with the uncertainty and the atmosphere in work, I hate being here.

What should I do???

I do feel a bit flaky posting on here about this again (and, um, in my diary as well in the DFW board ), but this is making my head spin!

OH will support me with whatever decision I make, but I know he is really quite broody...

Any thoughts welcomed....

CP x

Glamazon

hi catz

u need to do whats best for you - could u not get a new job & then wait a few months before TTC. Remember in order to get SMP & any company benefits you'll have to have worked there for a set amount of time before u conceive.

I foolishly posted about a promotion opportunity whilst 12weeks pg & asked for advice cos wrk didn't know I was pg. I got shouted down about it BUT to all those people - 2 fingers!!

I didnt apply but went for a job whilst 6 months pg & they wanted me so much they have agreed to wait til I finish mat leave in May 2010 :j

springclean

Hi,

I think you are trying to plan too precisely some things that are not really in your control, and are worrying unneccessarily on a lot of ifs and buts.

What will be, will be. If you need a new job, go out and get it. If you fall pregnant, then that's great, and your new employer will have to accept it.

I'm sorry that sounds so black and white, but let's face it, you could go into a new job, not fall pregnant for a while, and in the meantime the job can't sustain you and may have to let you go. Trust me, your employer will have no qualms about that if it's down to you or the business.

If you do fall pregnant straight away, you can always say you didn't expect it as you had an ecptopic and was warned it could cause problems getting pregnant in the future.

Good luck, and I hope all goes well

MrsTinks

Practical advice - wait until you have been in your new job a month or 2 at least... I know you'd qualify for SMP if you fall pregnant after you start there, BUT I'd say wait until you have passed any probation period... Or until you know if your company is likely to make you redundant...
And also quite important - find out what the maternity policies are with any companies you apply for... It will have a bearing on how long you decide to stay home afterwards - ie if it's a great company policy (check if there is a delay before it kicks in ie if you have to have worked there for x months before qualifying... some companies state you don't qualify until you have passed your probation) vs SMP which is pants! (let's put it like this... less than 1/4 of my month salary - that's a huge hit!)
I can understand the urge to have a child now - I had the little munchkin in my avatar earlier this year at the age of 29 - but I have no intention of having another for a couple of years... But some of my fellow mummy friends have had their first ones in their mid/late 30s and have done just fine...

I guess it depends on how desperately you want to start NOW and if you can see the benefits in waiting until things are stable again... I made sure I had about £4000 cushion in the bank to cover debt payments and bills etc so I can be home till Feb - Means my little girl will be about 8 months before I go back to work (well... could depend... work might not agree to my flexible work request meaning I have to look elsewhere for a job... - this is something else you have to think about. Can you return to work with a small one? Is it based in an office and are the employers flexible etc etc - mine are decididly not at the moment by the looks of things and it means I have to try and job hunt whilst looking after a small person... not fun)

Catzpaws

Glamazon wrote: »

hi catz

u need to do whats best for you - could u not get a new job & then wait a few months before TTC. Remember in order to get SMP & any company benefits you'll have to have worked there for a set amount of time before u conceive.

I foolishly posted about a promotion opportunity whilst 12weeks pg & asked for advice cos wrk didn't know I was pg. I got shouted down about it BUT to all those people - 2 fingers!!

I didnt apply but went for a job whilst 6 months pg & they wanted me so much they have agreed to wait til I finish mat leave in May 2010 :j

Congrats on your the new job and to your little boy... So glad it worked out really perfectly in the end. Hope I'm as fortunate!

Catzpaws

springclean wrote: »

Hi,

I think you are trying to plan too precisely some things that are not really in your control, and are worrying unneccessarily on a lot of ifs and buts.

What will be, will be. If you need a new job, go out and get it. If you fall pregnant, then that's great, and your new employer will have to accept it.

I'm sorry that sounds so black and white, but let's face it, you could go into a new job, not fall pregnant for a while, and in the meantime the job can't sustain you and may have to let you go. Trust me, your employer will have no qualms about that if it's down to you or the business.

If you do fall pregnant straight away, you can always say you didn't expect it as you had an ecptopic and was warned it could cause problems getting pregnant in the future.

Good luck, and I hope all goes well

Yeah, that does sound pretty black and white! But, no worries at all. All of this has been swimming in my mind for a few months now.

The main reason why it seems precisely planned is because it is! We can't say when we'll get pg, of course, but we are working very hard at the moment to becoming debt-free next year so that we can afford to have a reduced income. These things, sadly, need a lot of planning!!

You are right that there are too many variables that I can't control...but, the kind of person that I am, if I'm doing something, I want to do it properly (e.g. job, motherwood, whatever).... I am one of those types!

MrsTinks

In which case wait until you're debt free... problems of your last pregnancy aside then you could end up having to be on sickleave during your pregnancy... I ended up in hospital on a drip due to dehydration from excessive vomiting. I had severe morning sickness till wk20 - and severe backache from then onwards. I had a lot of sick leave because my company was not very flexible or willing to work with me... I could have done my job from home easily but they decided to be difficult and I had to take fully paid sick leave instead - but not everyone gets that for as long as I did... So would it be better to wait until you are debt free?

Rockporkchop

Would you be in line for a decent payout if you were made redundant? If it was me, I would stay in the same job and start TTCing now but first I would get myself some stand alone unemployment cover with a 30 day exclusion clause. If you do get made redundant, you will get your redundancy payment, and then the unemployment cover would pay out for up to a year. I assume you would get your SMP too. I know it's an extra fifty quid a month for cover but worth it for the peace of mind and the possible paid year off.

In the meantime I would work like mad to pay off every one of my debts.

Catzpaws

MrsTine wrote: »

In which case wait until you're debt free... problems of your last pregnancy aside then you could end up having to be on sickleave during your pregnancy... I ended up in hospital on a drip due to dehydration from excessive vomiting. I had severe morning sickness till wk20 - and severe backache from then onwards. I had a lot of sick leave because my company was not very flexible or willing to work with me... I could have done my job from home easily but they decided to be difficult and I had to take fully paid sick leave instead - but not everyone gets that for as long as I did... So would it be better to wait until you are debt free?

That sounds very sensible in principle, but my heart just cannot wait until next October before TTC!! It's the single thought of starting a family (giving the baby the best possible start with debt-freeness) that is driving me in my debt-free journey at the moment.

I'd worked out that, if we get debt-free by the time I go off on maternity, we'll be able to cope with SMP and hubby's wages for a full year. Just. So, if due to illness, I can't work, I will just have to go back to work earlier. Luckily, my current employers are flexible (will be able to work from home if needed) - which is a big plus point for my current employers. If I don't lose my job, that is.

So, no, waiting until we're debt-free is not an option. Because of ectopic, I need to try soooner rather than later - in part due to possible reduced fertility.

But, I do really appreciate your input - thanks Mrs Tine

Catzpaws

Rockporkchop wrote: »

Would you be in line for a decent payout if you were made redundant? If it was me, I would stay in the same job and start TTCing now but first I would get myself some stand alone unemployment cover with a 30 day exclusion clause. If you do get made redundant, you will get your redundancy payment, and then the unemployment cover would pay out for up to a year. I assume you would get your SMP too. I know it's an extra fifty quid a month for cover but worth it for the peace of mind and the possible paid year off.

In the meantime I would work like mad to pay off every one of my debts.

Good god, just lost my post! :mad: Don't you hate that.

Any redundancy payment wouldn't be anything to write home about - less than a month's salary, I reckon.

Re: insurance... good point and something worth considering if I stay in my current job.

leanneq

They cannot make you redundant if you are pregnant! So if i was you, if you conceive tell them asap then you are safe. This happened to my friend recently but she wanted to be made redundant but unbeknown to her she told them she was pregnant and they said that they can't make her redundant anymore! She even said she'd sign something to say that she wouldn't sue!
Good luck x