Suicidal and crying out for help

leed

"Im on diazepam at the moment btw, am trying to avoid taking them everyday but mum is insistant and nagged me to take one earlier this evening."

It might be best talking to the gp re medication - as the side effects from diazepan "... may increase, in some people, the propensity toward self-harming behaviours and, in extreme cases, may provoke suicidal tendencies or acts." You don't want to be taking something that is e xacerbating (making worse) your condition. However you do need to be taking something - just hang in there until you see someone.

SailorSam

No More Panic - How to cope with Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Phobias and OCD
You may find some good advice here, perhaps join in forums with others who have similar troubles.

Stephb1986_2

zztop girl, we are here to help hun we're not here to judge you. I would rather you posted your thoughts here than not doing and doing something to harm yourself love. Is there no one close like a friend or relative you could talk to about the problems your having? I know you are having problems with your husband but I also remember a few months ago how excited you were to be getting married. Do you have any children?

If you need to talk to someone but don't really want to put it on here please send me a message I'm here most of the time.

If you want a hobby why not try entering competitions? It doesn't cost anything to do online ones and I can tell you some good websites I go on

I hope your ok, You can get through this I promise.

Sending you all the love in the world

Steph xx

zztopgirl

Im not eating or sleeping properly, I stayed awake most of the night thinking. Oh is trying to be supportive but keep telling myself that if he does leave again, I can survive on my own, he doesnt need to be married to a fruitcake. Have been talking and crying today and have worked alot out, and now he has gone out and can think clearer, my mum is coming round at teatime to take me out for a walk.

I have a terrible memory, I have been diagnosed with dyspraxic tendencies but not properly diagnosed as its so difficult to get a full diagnosis as an adult, so have been talking to oh about it today. I cant even remember what clothes I have sometimes and mainly live in jeans and black tops, when im having a good day I like to wear nice stuff but the memory problems are a nightmare, and have worked out that my crashes over the weekend are due to memory probs and being irrational, so im writing everything down to keep reminding myself.

I have also started doing this which I found on another thread http://www.moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome hopefully I can get through one day without having to take a diazepam.

quietheart

Hey try not to refer to yourself as a fruitcake - you are a mum and a wife who is having mental health problems, there's lots of women out there like you.
For the memory problems have you tried keeping a diary? It sounds obvious but helped me no end after a brain injury. Trying listing things the night before when you aren't under so much pressure and tick them off.
For now it sounds like you could do with maybe trying some sleeping tablets so you get a good night's sleep and that will help trying to tackle the day ahead.
Just take each day as it happens, don't think any further ahead and take good care of yourself.
Though you don't really feel it yet, you sound like you've turned a corner, you really want to change your life and I'm sure you can do it with the right support.

Stephb1986_2

I'm only 23 and have a memory like a gold fish! My mum can tell me to get something out of the freezer, put the heating on and feed the dog all in one go and without a doubt I'll forget one or two things!

You aren't a fruit cake mental health is a very serious thing it can happen to anyone. I have had a bad car crash and for a while I was on edge all the time I nearly got to the stage where I was like Stacy off Eastenders until my mum said that I need to rest my brain or I would become like her. I do sometimes get wound up and I don't know how to come down and the people nearest to me gets it mainly my OH to be honest.

You sound like you could do with a break from it all for a few days or a week and then ease yourself back into normal life. Your family need you and I'm pretty sure if something happened to you they would be totally devestated. I have a very good friend who's mum was a drug addict she overdosed when my friend was 7 and sadly died, my friend still loves her mum because it's her mum but she hates her at the same time for leaving her.

You will pull through this and you will be much stronger.

Steph xx

fatou256

hi zztopgirl there are this forum which is very good

http://www.sane.org.uk/app/webroot/DiscussionBoard/viewforum.php?f=4&sid=710c3a7759e3ee5d7bd63d7c66645af0

it is anonymous and held by fellow sufferer . It is very good to off load difficult feeling or jsut to say how you feel and people will understand exactly how you feel, the board is anonymous and non judgemental .

Tulip

ZZTopGirl cant advise but just want to send you a comforting hug

use the Samaritans if you need them 24/7 by e-mail or phone,they helped me no end when I was in crisis and made me think clearer.If I am in a hole and need help I have my family and the Samaritans to use.


Katie

leed

Keep in there! Hope you find somewhere you can go to talk through your issues. It sounds as if your OH and Mum are helping in certain ways - just know there are lots of us out there supporting you across the internet! Keep writing things down and then if you feel down read through them and remember you have good times as well as down times. In fact please know that even those of us who have life on an 'even keel' have days when we feel down and things are not going our way. It might be good you spending time with your children to see how much they love you.
Please accept an hug across the internet from me!!!
:hello:

web_ferret

Hi zztop

I don't normally look at this forum (too busy reading other stuff) but I clicked and therefore just thought I had to say something after reading your post.
I don't have any advice to give other than just to say "take care".

Oh and you have had 1000 people look at this so you are clearly not alone!