Clinic for behavioural problems?

Dora_the_Explorer_5

She is smart and at the moment she's outsmarting you. Why would she change this way of dealing with you when she's a teenager? It works for her.

foreveryoung_3

I have 5 Autonomous children, all gifted and unable to fit into the Education Mainstream Matrix, I have changed the Dynamics in my family to accommodate there different talents and learning styles, My children all have auditory processing difficulties and different sensory perceptions. They are children of the code. There is a web site https://www.nagcbritain.org.uk who have helped me understand myself and my children.

Mrs_Optimist

Interesting thread. My DS started school in January and I worry that he is still too young (he will not be 5 until July) Most of the other children in his class are 5 already which is a big difference at their age. His teacher says he is bright as a button but he is forever being carted off to the see the head teach for some misdemeanour or other. The things he is supposed to do at school horrify me because he has never done it at home. I have an old child who is 8 in October and she has been the perfect child at school - I suppose the teachers were expecting the same of her brother but I dread picking him up from school to find out what he has done wrong that day. I have even considered giving him some fish oil tablets everyday which are supposed to clam children down. I just cannot understand it. Perhaps there is something wrong with him? Although he has no problems keeping up with the work. I feel like a failed mother already and cannot see a way out of it.

trippy

Having remembered something from my psychology GCSE and doing a bit of searching on the internet we are now going to try Negative Reinforcement to discourage the bad behaviour.

To summarise... "There are four types of Operant Conditioning: Positive Reinforcement, Negative Reinforcement, Punishment, and Extinction. Both Positive and Negative Reinforcement strengthen behaviour while both Punishment and Extinction weaken behaviour.

The concept of Negative Reinforcement is difficult to teach and learn because of the word negative. Negative Reinforcement is often confused with Punishment. They are very different, however.

Negative Reinforcement strengthens a behavior because a negative condition is stopped or avoided as a consequence of the behavior.

Punishment, on the other hand, weakens a behavior because a negative condition is introduced or experienced as a consequence of the behavior."

What we've been doing is threatening a punishment or unpleasant consequence to get her to stop doing something naughty. So instead we will introduce the punishment or unpleasant consequence straight away and give her the option to rectify the situation by stopping her behaviour. The difference is very subtle but it means that the situation always ends on a positive note, ie a reward if the behaviour was desired or the reinstatement of a priviledge if the undesired behaviour is stopped. I think it's important though to make sure that a "reward" isn't given for stopping undesired behaviour or she will deliberately misbehave so she can get a reward when she stops! Which I think is an easy trap to fall into.

Fingers crossed eh?

ruthyjo

Trippy - don't hold out too much hope for any intervention you're likely to get helping much. My oldest son is very able but never caused me any concern before he started school. From the minute he started school things were nightmarish. I was so pleased that he went to school able to read, write etc and the staff at his day nursery were also proud of him. He is now ten and we have had six years of being constantly called into school over his behaviour. He has been consistently disruptive and pretty horrible at school whilst still being lovely at home. I've been dismissed by the educational psychologist at school as a fussy middle class parent and told I should travel to a deprived area of town to see kids with "real" problems. When he was assessed by the local behavioural unit, refered by my gp after multiple tearful (on my part) appointments when I'd taken him out of school to avoid things getting even worse, I was told he has an iq of 156 and that is his only problem. Nothing exists in our authority to help with that - you're just in with a class and have to work to that pace. They only appointed a gifted and talented advisor eighteen months ago and we are not eligible for anything she has set up so far which only cater for children from depressed areas.

My son had achieved his sat level 5s at the end of year three. Since then he has not been taught in the class for Maths (his best subject) but has had to sit in the library on his own working through the high school text books. As you can imagine this has only led to a decline in his behaviour and an increase in his sense of isolation.

He's going to the final year of an academic independent prep school in September. We can't really afford it but the state system is just failing him totally. He'll be in their top stream and in a separate small group for maths. It is the first time in years I've met with any enthusiasm for his ability from anyone rather than horror at how he will be accomodated within a class. It makes me so angry that the state system hasn't provided that.

This is a very sketchy post giving a couple of details from a very complicated ongoing situation. However I think if your little girl is very able you should just be ready for things when she does start school.

trippy

We have decided to keep an eye on the school situation. It may be that she'll be happy to coast at school, in which case we'll keep in mind how important an all-round education is in the early years - mixing with like-minded peers etc. But we have said that if she's unhappy at school, bored and not being catered for and/or this results in a deterioration in her behaviour, we will have to explore the 'paying for school' route.

Savvy_Sue

Schools do vary enormousy. My sister had the same problems as ruthyjo: school not wanting to acknowledge bright children or stretch them beyond the 'average' of the class. Whereas my boys, in a different part of the country, couldn't have had better treatment in the state system. I'm not saying they wouldn't have been stretched more in the private sector, but they've been happy, socialising well, AND allowed to achieve in their 'special' subjects.

Mine were at primary schools in fairly 'deprived' areas, where lots of children were statemented, so maybe having bright boys was such a joy to the school that they really wanted them to do well. Don't know - but it certainly helped the schools' SATS results!

bookworm1363

Hi.

I hope it's ok to post this, it was posted on the Asperger's board, and is just to be seen by all of us parents of struggling children for whatever reason:

http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/wp-content/themes/179/form.html