Nursery. How would you handle this?

galvanizersbaby

CG77 wrote: »

Thanks all,

RebekahR, those things you mention witnessing fill me with absolute horror! As galvanizersbaby said, I hope/presume you challenged these things and reported them to the relevant body so it's no longer happening there.

The daft thing is, we CHOSE to send him to nursery for a day a week just for social reasons really, so he's more used to this type of environment when he begins school next Septmeber. All my friends' children who are this age are attending preschool, but for various reasons we chose for me to reduce my hours to very part time so I can be here with him. He doesn't NEED to be in this, or any nursery for childcare reasons and when we do need someone he can go to the childminder. I know this is a totally different question now, but does anyone have experience of NOT sending their child to any type of nursery before they begin school, but keeping them at home with them (obviously socialising with friends and their children etc)? Maybe I need to ask this in a new thread?

Thanks again for the replies so far!

CG. x

PS. Galvanizersbaby, you're right that I'm not 100% happy with the nursery, but I am a fuss-pot and for lots of background reasons, probably nowhere would be good enough for my little one! Sometimes I can't distinguish real reasons for me to worry with my overprotectiveness for my precious, precious little one...

I think most of us are like this in some way at some point - I think as gingin said you need to follow your gut instinct - good luck

fernliebee

I can understand why you feel like he should have experience of a nursery situation before he starts school however, had you considered that if you attend a few well set out toddler groups with him each week, and maybe enrol him in some sort of formal lesson like gym class or swimming lessons etc he would actually be getting all the social/ listening skills he would get at nursery anyway! I worked in a reception class for a little while and there are always some children in each year group who start school having never attended a nursery before and they didn't seem to be at any disadvantage at all. Does the school you want him to attend not have a nursery attached as part of their foundation stage? He sounds like a very bright, articulate, confidant boy who would be fine just to start school if he really isn't getting on with the nursery.

On the other hand, if you want him to stay personally I would find a new nursery as to have two big problems in the beginning would not fill me with confidence. But if you were determined to ride out the problems I would talk to them, tell them what he has told you and ask them if they have any ideas on what has made him feel like this about snack time. Maybe say he is a sensitive chap, who does not respond well to being told to eat things that he doesn't like, and if he doesn't want any to let him leave it. Other than that, I have no suggestions. Good luck with it, it's such a tricky situation to be in.

ginvzt

Hi,
sorry I don't have any advice on my own, but reading your post brought back my nursery memories!!!! I can't drink cocoa to this day, as we were forced to finish our glass at meal times when I was a child. I didn't like it, but it didn't matter to the staff!!! To this day I cringe when I see cocoa drink or someone mentions it! I know it was not fruit, which is healthy and very needed for all the goodness, but the nursery staff telling the child off just reminded me of my own experience.

Please, talk to the staff and get them to back off...

CG77

Thanks again everyone, especially to fernliebee for the reassurance. He is quite sensitive but confident and very articulate. He's not interested in numbers or anything like that really, but he loves to work out how things work so is extremely scientific and he has a wonderful vocabulary. Hopefully therefore if we choose to keep him out of nursery until he begins school it won't have too much of a detrimental effect.

We'll definitely have a look around for some sort of 'lesson' for him-I think you might be onto something there!

Thanks again.

CG. x

busiscoming2

You speak of Nursery rather than Playschool/group. Do these not exist anymore? My now older kids went for 2 then increased to three mornings a week from just over 2 years old, untill they went to school (youngest did go to Nursery attached to school from about three and a half)
I am assuming your little man goes all day? Can you not find a playschool or even mum & toddler for social interation?

CG77

Thanks Busiscoming2,

Yes we go to toddler groups etc already, but as I said most of the 3 yr olds I know go to preschool now and I felt I should be putting him into some sort of formal setting for him to get his early years education and social interaction before he starts school next september. Others have reassured me now it wouldn't matter if he didn't get this so I'll have a rethink with regards to this nursery he's attending now.

Thanks again.

CG. x

RadoJo

In fairness, it could be something as simple as he was told 'if you don't eat it now, it'll be too late' or similar which a child could interpret one way and could have been meant in an entirely different way. I'm sure if you speak to someone at the nursery, it will either confirm your fears, or allow you to explain to your LO that he wasn't in trouble and come to a compromise about how this is dealt with in future.

MadDogWoman_2

Hi CG,

Could it be that it's also a bit of a culture shock for your DS?

I've decided to forgo nursery/pre-school for my DD and send her to a local playgroup instead as it's more like the toddler groups that she attends - a church hall etc for this reason.

HTH

MDW

msb5262

Hello OP,
My DS2 went to a lovely nursery class attached to a primary school for the year when he was 3 - 4 years old. The sessions were two and a half hours, and they had morning nursery class (30 children) and afternoon (a different 30 children). He really enjoyed it and gained hugely from it socially; the school where I'm now teaching Year 5 has a similar nursery attached to it and I would strongly recomment that you investigate your local SCHOOL nurseries.
It's complicated because some people say "nursery" meaning a nursery class as described above, but others say "nursery" meaning childcare. The childcare version is a totally different thing - for one thing, it can involve very long hours (eg. 7am to 6pm) and for another it is not really provided to support the child's social development, more to meet the childcare needs of the parent.
I was lucky - I worked part-time then, and took my DS2 to nursery in the afternoons on my days off; when I was at work, my lovely childminder took him. Very happy days and no anxieties such as you describe. I do hope you can find a solution with which you're happy.
Best wishes,
MsB

ailuro2

I'd ask to talk to the person in charge, tell her what your son says to you, and that he's normally not one for getting the wrong end of the stick, but that it's bothering him.

Ask the person to have a word with him about it while you're there to clear up the fruit thing. That way even if someone was telling him to eat it now, they will (hopefully) be reprimanded for it and it won't happen again, and of course your son can say the person in charge said he didn't have to eat the fruit.

Your son sounds smart enough to be told that the teachers will try to persuade him to eat his fruit because they want him to have things that are healthy for him, and I'm sure you already do, but remind your son you'd be happy if he ate his fruit like most of the rest of the kids do, that most children do like some kinds offruit, and that you ay this because you want want him to grow into a healthy young man!