What would you do if..

houseofboys

you found yr hubby had been looking at *sexi* pics of an ex-girlfriend (whom he is friends with on a popular networking site) and still has cards from her in your loft which you asked him to get rid of seeing as I had to dispose of anything to do with my ex,which I did..


there is more to it,when we started going out she used to call him over to her table in the pub and leave me sat there like a gooseberry while he sorted out her *problems*...I could go on but she she has always popped up thru the yrs...I just feel that he still holds a candle for her and am very confused...me and this girl went to the same secondary school and I really did not like her,u know when there is no reason just a feeling?

The one thing that really hurts me the most is when our eldest was 1yr old I was suffering with P.N.D and very low.We went out with my hubbies workmates,bowling 1 evening. I saw her there,size 10,long blonde hair,the trophy girlfriend....me,depressed,no make up,size 18....anyway I told my hubby "oh look its such and such" .... A few minutes later I catch him whispering to a mate and them looking in her direction and laughing...Its obvious he told his mate he used to go out with her and it really hurt me,I was too far from home to walk home otherwise I would have.

BTW...been together 18 yrs,married for 16yrs and 3 kids....And when I questioned him about looking at her pics he said he was being nosy.

Am I making a mountain out of a molehill??:o

Alias_Omega

If you mention something it will cause an arguement. Probably just looking around like everyone else.

Probably nothing in it, though if you make something of it, in the future he will think to delete the internet history.

When you start to control someone on what they can look at, thats when there is a problem.

sclancy1

I wouldn't be too bothered to be honest, she obviously has posted them on her page for everyone to look at so it's not as if these are personal pictures to him. You've been together to for a very long time and if he wasn't happy with you I doubt he would still be around. I often look at ex's pages/photos on these sites.. not cos I still hold a torch but as your hubby said.. just to be a bit nosy!

foxy-roxy

I would of hit the roof, but that is just me. I have had problems with my OH looking at pics of girls on the internet and he has even gone as far to message a certain girl, and i confronted him which i regret doing now as i would of liked to of seen how far he would of gone with it.
If i were you i wouldnt make a big deal of it YET, see how much further he goes, if he doesnt do anything else then leave it but if he starts contacting her or doing anything else inapropriate well then i would start something.

houseofboys

Thanks for the replies,yes she has put them on her page for everyone to look at,they are mostly her in a bikini,short skirts,undies etc thats what he was looking at!

He does usually clear his browsing history,especially friends reunited and only goes on there when he's alone or when i've gone to bed.

sclancy1

I wouldn't worry about his internet usage, my oh often goes on the internet when I'm in bed or watching tv in another room and so do I. Not doing anything wrong or worried about the other knowing what I'm looking at.. just find it easier to concentrate when we are not disturbing each other with chat!

busiscoming2

Personally as they are on a social site for all to see, I would think it was just nosiness, but if he still 'sees' here regularly I would probably be a bit wary, it would probably just be jealousy but my mind would start to wonder and make me more watchful.

Pee

Are you making a mountain out of a molehill? Yes.

Would I be making the same mountain out of the same molehill if it was me? Yes.

Look at the positives here, your jealously suggests to me that you love your husband and find him attractive. She is pathetic enough to be posting pictures of her in her undies on a networking site. Hmm... not too much going on in her love life or between her ears then?

It wasn't really her fault that you were going through a bad time and she was looking good, but I can understand how that would hurt, and it might not have been what your husband told his mate, but would you have said the same to a female friend if a good looking ex of yours came by? Would it mean that you were still in love with said good looking ex, or would it mean you thought he was good looking but were glad you had your husband's other attributes.

I would try to avoid showing jealousy, unless you can express it as a compliment to him and not a lack of trust, and perhaps make an effort to make things better between you, so you feel more confident in his feelings for you. Would a few dates be good?

By all means keep an eye on the situation, but be careful not to accuse or nag.

Dancing_Shoes

Yes i would be bothered but it would be the deleting of the browsing history that would worry me more:eek:

If she ever calls your husband over again when you are out and makes you feel like a gooseberry I would grit your teeth and invite yourself to join them (very difficult for them to tell you to get lost;)) then I would make it very difficult for her to wedge herself between you;)

Some women like the attention they get from males who are married etc because it makes them feel attractive and like someone else has said she is obviously very desperate to be posting pictures of herself semi naked:rolleyes:

It sounds like your confidence is a bit low after having the children and I feel that you are comparing yourself to her unfavourably. Yes she might have a lovely figure but there is a reason she is still single;)
Pamper yourself and rekindle a bit of the old romance between you and oh (can become a bit lost after having children);)

Errata

What would you do if..
you found yr hubby had been looking at *sexi* pics of an ex-girlfriend (whom he is friends with on a popular networking site)

I'd use his head to reshape my cast iron frying pan

Dancing_Shoes

Errata wrote: »

I'd use his head to reshape my cast iron frying pan

pmsl:rotfl::rotfl::T