my autistic child at school

tiannaleigh

Hi,my 4yr old autistic child started full time school in september and is doing far better than I could have possible hoped for,she even has many friends now,
However she has started receiving invites to go to there houses for tea etc,I know in my heart I should let her,but im so worried especially with all the horrific things in the paper lately about nursery teachers abusing children,my little girl is so beautifull ,and in my opinion would be an easy target as she cant really talk and doesnt grasp "normal behaviour",The parents who have asked if she can come to there house all seem lovely people but im new to the area and dont really know anything about anybody,do you think it would be wrong to not allow her to go,im compleately torn,any opinions or idea's would be appricited,thanks

faithcecilia

I wonder if you could go with her and get to know the parents over a cup of coffee while the children play? That way hopefully your fears will pass and you will be happier about her going next time, and also you will know someone in the area as well. i am sure the other mother would understand, and possibly even be glad of it!

*Chattie*

I really don't think being autistic makes any difference to this point. You need to be happy with whoever has your child for the afternoon no matter any disability, my son is disabled. At that age its quite normal to go with the kids until you get to know the parents and if they aren't happy with that idea then why don't you ask some of the kids to your house until you do get to know the children and the parents.

tiannaleigh

I think both reply's are a good idea thanks,I was worried about offending the mothers but I could just say I want to see she is happy there or something similar,thanks

elaine373

I feel the same about my 6 year old son and he is not autistic.All young children are vulnerable and i think we all have to be `happy` with the person who is going to be looking after them and only after we get to know them can we evaluate their character. Its a hard job being a mum. Go with your instinct once you have got to know someone.If its someone new then maybe arrange coffeee with an invite for them and their child.

squidge60

My dd is double the age of your child but shes as much at risk as any other child .I cannot see why you think your child is at anymore risk than the next persons.If it were that simple to pinpoint children who might be more at risk it would make it a harder job for abusers and it would be an easier job for us mums!! Anyway like people say its family you should be wary of more than anyone.!!:(

JBD

The OP is probably worried about her child because she cannot talk and therefore would not be able to tell anyone if anything bad did happen to her. A child abuser would know this. Why does this make you angry Squidge 60?
OP ,I agree with the other posters, just ask the host Mum if you can stay. They will probably agree. I used to have to stay at parties with my oldest son just because he was very clingy. Noone minded.

squidge60

JBD wrote: »

The OP is probably worried about her child because she cannot talk and therefore would not be able to tell anyone if anything bad did happen to her. A child abuser would know this. Why does this make you angry Squidge 60?
OP ,I agree with the other posters, just ask the host Mum if you can stay. They will probably agree. I used to have to stay at parties with my oldest son just because he was very clingy. Noone minded.

So child abuse does not make you angry ? Its not an angry face anyway its a frown.!!!!!

JBD

Yes child abuse makes me very angry.Also some children are more vulnerable than others.

Pssst

faithcecilia wrote: »

I wonder if you could go with her and get to know the parents over a cup of coffee while the children play? That way hopefully your fears will pass and you will be happier about her going next time, and also you will know someone in the area as well. i am sure the other mother would understand, and possibly even be glad of it!

Thats an excellent idea. The important thing is that your child leads a normal life,makes friends and socialises. The spin off will be that you too will network and make new friends in a new area.

tiannaleigh

squidge60 wrote: »

My dd is double the age of your child but shes as much at risk as any other child .I cannot see why you think your child is at anymore risk than the next persons.If it were that simple to pinpoint children who might be more at risk it would make it a harder job for abusers and it would be an easier job for us mums!! Anyway like people say its family you should be wary of more than anyone.!!:(

I know its a worry for all mums but as my daughter cant talk,she is unable to tell me about what she has been doing,and perhaps if situations were not quite right she would not understand this or be able to say anything,which is why I said I thought she would be an easy target