Fell off the wagon

cantcope

ok heres my SOA again:

income monthly £1547 i earn 25500 and could not get a better salary for what i do. have tried for years

Rent: £585 (moved this year to reduce it)
Elec: £35
Home insurance: £9
Life Insurance: £16
Health Insurance: £33
Council tax: £67
Water £50
Pension: £11
Phone/BB: £40

M&S CC: £200
Tesco CC: £100
Loan: £116
Store card: £50
Petrol: £100 (i do not work on a bus route and cannot get a lift)

Total outgoings: £1342
This leaves me approx £150 to get food, necessaries, and smoke for the month.


I am seriously thinking about telling my parents. I have held off because my brother is manically depressed and has just moved home again. He owes them thousands upon thousands of pounds. My mum has MS and the stress of this could affect her really badly. She has an inkling i have spent most of my money from when i sold my home 2 years ago but she has no idea i've spent it all and MORE.

Should i try and sort it out myself again? Should i write a letter? Sobbing here and dont know what to do.

lynzpower

Ok, onto the income situation then. Youve spent your wges before youve earned them is that right?

Where do you live, what town?

cantcope

yes thats right lynz. will pm you where i live. dont really want it broadcast on here

cantcope

My friend just text me to say she'd called my mum and that she was on her way over. wish me luck.

letter didnt go too well as i smudged all the writing with my tears

paulhgc

well you are already half way there mate as you have admitted that you have a problem. 1 step at a time mate and you will get there

cantcope

I'm just not sure what to tell my mum. Do i tell her about all of my debt? some of it? Just the overdraft? I'm not looking for her to pay off my debt. Just need some help with my overdraft.

Half of my problem with gambling is that i do it when i feel lonely. I've kept this secret from my folks for over a year now and its making me ill. I hope something other than a roasting from them comes out of this.

She has suspected i've been a bit skint as my spending habits have changed and i've been ill (through stress). I've just been telling her i've been dieting and thats why ive lost 2 stone.

I feel sick. she is going to be so disappointed. and angry.

violetb_2

It doesn't help in any way, but I think you are at least one step along the right lines by being brave enough to tell a bunch of people on this forum what you did.

Getting_Better_With_Money_2

*HUGS* . I think you should tell you mum the truth - The whole truth, about the debt, the gambling, everything. I bet she already thinks something is wrong and if you are totally honest then I think it might come as a relief all round that it is all out in the open. I bet you'll feel beter too -- If you just tell half a story you will always have that scared sick feeling that you will be "found out".

Good luck hunny.

LookingAhead

But she's your Mum and she loves you. She will help you get through this - and even if at the start you just feel better for getting it out in the open, it is a step in the right direction.

Is there any possibility of moving back home for a short spell of time?
Subletting to a short term lodger? (Sorry I don't know how big your property is so it may not be feasible).
How about house sharing in another bigger property with someone to reduce outgoings?
And I know right now this is much easier said than done...you need to quit the ciggies, you can't afford them really can you? But one step at a time....let's see how you get on with your Mum.

Hugs to you.

cantcope

i cant move back home because my brother just moved back into my room and his old room is now their study.

Turns out friend told my mum i had a gambling problem and she wasnt shocked as i had told her about my ex gambling online and she suspected i was doing it too. I must have been letting things slip without noticing. Maybe i was waiting for her to notice? I dont know.

I would imagine she will be here soon. Will write again when i know what's going on. Maybe i can sell my car now and get a cheaper one. I couldnt before because i knew it would arouse suspicion.

i am so grateful to my friend. she did the hard bit for me. Getting it said. How will i ever repay her.