Im a new parent that needs help!

bubs

hi, really hope things improve for you - my little girl was born a few weeks early and had stopped growing in the womb at 33 wks,she went onto cow and gate nutriprem initially and had awful colic - up to 5 hours crying at a time - and it was extremely difficult to get any wind out of her.. at 8wks we took the decision to change her to cow and gate comfort first, and on HV's recommendation started using Dr Brown's bottles. She started taking bigger feeds and gradually the colic eased - it didn't go until she was 4 months old and I remember it seemed to last forever! We used to put mama mia on the CD player and take it in turns to dance around with her with her back to our fronts so she was facing outwards which may or may not have helped but it made us feel better! she is still on cow and gate comfort first at 14 months - won't take cows milk - the HV said that some babies just don't like milk, so until they get onto solids it can be quite a trying time - think our LO fits this category. I wish you all the best.x

bubs

oh, and we used dentinox colic drops and put it in the milk - infacol did nothing. we were also advised to stir the milk rather than shake it so as not to get too many bubbles in it.x

Inkedkitten

Heya, Im a student midwife and thought I'd give you some advice that I would give the ladies I see in the community.

First off formula milk is harder to digest. Was your baby previously breast fed? If so this could contribute to the problem. If he was breast fed then you are able to buy teats for breast fed babies, which he may find easier to use.

Also, the ladies who suggest feeding every 3 hours are right. Babies should feed on demand, if they aren't you need to be waking them up. I know this can be disruptive but it ensures they are getting their food. Make sure you wind the baby properly and I would advise giving cooled boiled water inbetween feeds to aid the colic. Make sure you wind him well, also you may find that winding whilst feeding can help him to feed better, getting any wind up during the feed.

All the best and I hope things get better soon! Remember we have to work around babies when they're so young, not the other way round. You're doing a great job, keep your chin up and things will start to change.

jacquij123

Hi,
You've had so much good advice but I though I'd add my little bit, I'm onto baby number 6, after two really happy contented babies this one has been an eye opener. He was born 9 weeks early and suffered alot from reflux / colic. I used Dr Brown bottles for the one bottle feed he has and he seems to get less wind from them then when he is breastfed.
What really turned the corner for us though was when I bought 'The Contented Little Baby Book'. SO much in there made sense, I haven't followed it rigidly but I now have a baby who is fast asleep for the night at 7pm, he does wake lightly for one of those dream feed things at about 1am but doesn't get up until 7am.
During the day I have found if I can occupy him between feeds, going out, visiting people etc, he feeds much better as there is a longer gap between feeds so he is properly hungry.
Sorry I seem to have waffled on, just to say that babies change so quickly, in a few weeks you could have a totally different baby.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/New-Contented-Little-Baby-Book/dp/0091912695/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1255471243&sr=8-1

Ruby_Moon

Babies have a way of making us Mums fret when really we don't need to Fret at all.
You know that the milk is ok for him and that the bottles are ok for him because he feeds well during some parts of the day so there must be some other reason.
Well, colic is one thing although colic tends to occur the same time each day for a couple of hours. It isn't something that niggles all day long. You will know if it is colic for sure.
It can be trapped wind that builds up because he IS stopping and starting with his feed and then being sat up, laid back down etc. Air can be getting trapped in small pockets which makes him uncomfortable.
It could also be technique, as in you find that he falls asleep as he feeds and so you leave him to sleep. He will wake up very soon though as he hasn't had a full feed. This becomes a vicious circle during the day because all he manages to take is a top up feed every time, before he gets wind or falls asleep because hes tired from crying so much.

None of this is your fault or baby's fault. It just how some babies are. These babies are easier to manage if you give them a set routine rather than rely on 'on demand' feedig.
Give him his feed when he wakes (did you say it was roughly 7am?).
If he takes a full feed, then give the next feed 4 hours later.
If he does not take a full feed then do not feed again for 3.5 hours later, even if he is crying.
To help you while he cries you will need to fill his time by walking around with him, playing, bathing etc but don't give in with the feed. He should very quickly get his pattern back...within a day or so. It is best to keep him as upright as possible during the time waiting for the next feed so that you can monitor the amount of burps he has. (you may be surprised)
Hope that that helps a bit.

mookiandco

Hi djdymond, first all well done for surviving the first 8 weeks, now my advice to you is to take a deep breath.........and relax.

My little girl is 17 weeks today and I know you might not want to hear this, but I think you need to stop for a minute. In this short period, your little one has been on a number of different types and kinds of formula, your changing bottle types and adding gripe water, your massaging, your swaddling, your cuddling, your following baby whisperer, your giving up on baby whisperer, your giving dummys, your checking nappies, your checking temperatures, your screwing lids tight or not tight, your squeezing teats etc etc.

I know its hard but throw the books to one side, stop trawling the internet for the answers and above all stop worrying. Simply there is no easy answer. Every baby is different and sometimes when you stop worrying and relax everything will start to get easier.

How do I know? because you were me 8 weeks ago and very occasionally still now! Everytime my baby looked vaguely unhappy, I went searching for a reason. Could it be wind? is she tired? is she wet? is she ill? is she teething? is she hungry? is she too hot/too cold? is she over-stimulated? is she bored? are the lights too bright? etc etc. When I thought i'd found the reason i.e it must be wind, it must be her teeth etc i'd go looking for the solution ie the gripe water, the infacol, rubbing her gums, giving her toys, swaddling her etc etc.

My little girl still feeds all the time. I breast feed and also give her bottles of expressed milk (as I was worrying that she wasnt getting enough direct from the boob!!), and with the bottle even at 17 weeks she wont drink more than 120ml in one go. Usually though she drinks 90ml and then has to take a break and play for a bit. She'll then act as if I hadnt fed her an hour previously ie as if she is starved and she'll have rest of the bottle. Dont forget how little their tummys are, let him go at his own pace. Dont go by whats on the back of the formula box as to what he should be drinking, you'll notice in time that the amount he can take gradually increases. If he's putting on weight, alert and healthy, then dont panic that he's not getting enough.

My little girl wakes once a night around 4am She sometimes goes to bed at 9:30pm but more often than not its 11pm. This works fine for us as we sleep late anyway and my hubby gets to spend longer with her when he gets back from work. I believe that her routine will come naturally. I'm in no rush to force it. She has fallen into a general routine all by herself (wake at 7am, nap at 9:30am, nap at 11am, nap at 2pm, nap at 5pm etc etc). Sometimes her routine alters because we are out and about but she takes it all in her stride.


I hope I havent spoken out of turn. I appreciate that you are just trying to find ways to soothe your little boy but it will get easier. For now just enjoy him. I'm sure everyone tells you how fast they grow. Well, its true! Don't spend the most precious first months in a whirlwind of anxiety. As we say over on the Parents Thread (come join us!), when things get hard, YOU'RE DOING A GOOD JOB xx

JBD

Sorry, I really have to disagree with the student midwife above [sorry I don't know how to quote], A n 8 week old bottle fed baby doesn't need to be woken up or fed on demand. [unless they have specific medical needs of course. Also parents do not have to 'work around babies ', it is perfectly possible to get them into a routine that suits everyone.This is exactly what happens when you have more babies, the new baby has to fit in with the whole family, not the other way round.

cavework

Hi .. me again
Not making light of this as I know from experience how tough it is but I promise it soon passes.
My son is 23 and still gets wind when he's had a bottle!

xx

Inkedkitten

JBD wrote: »

Sorry, I really have to disagree with the student midwife above [sorry I don't know how to quote], A n 8 week old bottle fed baby doesn't need to be woken up or fed on demand. [unless they have specific medical needs of course. Also parents do not have to 'work around babies ', it is perfectly possible to get them into a routine that suits everyone.This is exactly what happens when you have more babies, the new baby has to fit in with the whole family, not the other way round.

That's completely fine, none of the advice is set in stone, but if your baby doesn't have a routine and isn't ready to establish one yet then you as a parent need to adapt. Babies will feed when they want, but if my child hadn't fed for 6 hours I'd want to make sure they were getting the food they needed and want to know why they weren't hungry. I agree with where what you're saying but sometimes it doesn't always work out the way you want it to.

liney

I did the EASY (baby whisperer) routine with my son from about 6 weeks old, basically feeding him every 3 hours during the day, then bath and bed at 7pm. I would go in and Dream Feed and change him at 11pm, and he would go through until 3am, wake for a feed and back down until 6am.

The idea is that once they are in the routine, they will be waking up naturally when it's time to feed so you shouldn't need to wake them: Eat at 6am, play, dress etc, sleep at 8am and wake up to feed at 9am (ish). Also by working in that order baby doesn't rely on the feeding to get to sleep which might cause you issues later on. I used to wake DS up if he slept for 30 mins more than i anticipated or it'd throw the whole day (then night) out.

Babies of that age are classed as sleeping throught he night when they are going for about 6 hours i belive. DS didn;t start doing 12 hours straight until he was about 6 months old... then of course teething kicked in

Do they still make Infacol? You give them a syringe before each feed, and wind half way through each bottle. I found that lying baby face down on your lap was a good way to get the wind up, and i also found that dad was better at it then me. Probably because of bigger hands to rub with.

Failing that warming a towel or cloth in front of the fire/on the radiator, and holding it on their tummy whilst warm sometimes helps.