Partner does not trust me as a Dad

aliasojo

My daughter loves me and her Dad equally and both of us are more than capable of raising her.

However, we each have areas where we're just better than the other. It's a male/female thing...not a better parent thing. My OH knows he has her best interests at heart but will happily admit that I'm better at dealing with the predominately more girly situations, whilst he's better at other things.

Although I have no doubt my daughter would be well cared for by her Dad if I wasn't around, I would feel sad for her if she was missing out on the generally more softer female influence.

I wouldn't place too much importance on this situation OP, it's just a Mother who is miles away from her daughter, having a little fret.

galvanizersbaby

Rockporkchop wrote: »

Believe me, your partner trusts you implicitly. She must do, to let her DD stay at home with you while she is away in the US.

I would second what everyone else has said but for me personally, I would want some more females around my DD to get the proper details of her life and the gossip! When I ask my DH about my DD's day, he will give me a short account of the actual day. However if the DD has spent the day with a female relative I will get a blow by blow account of the day - where they went, what the house was like, what they wore, what the other mums were like, etc etc, basically every single tiny detail that women like to hear. Men just don't retain the same information!!

I remember your last post too OP and I am really pleased that you and your OH are giving things another go. Wishing you the very best of luck for the future as a happy family.

:rotfl:Yep, isn't that just the truth - the level of detail provided and required by my DD vastly differs to that of my DS who would supply basic info only.
DS doesn't consider the finer details important - recently he made a new friend at a summer holiday club they were both attending - he asked me if his new 'best friend' could come for tea to which I replied of course what was his name and I would discuss it with his mother.
DS looked at me as though I was mad and said 'I dunno mum I didn't find out his name' - having spent 4 weeks playing it hadn't crossed his mind apparently.:D

DD though of course could tell me his name and where he lived and how many brothers and sisters he had - also what his mum looked like and her name so i was able to approach her with the invite

esmf73

Maybe she is worried about you and how you are but doesn't know how to say this to you - perhaps she is asking her family to see how you are managing without her. I'm sure she is missing you loads.

londoner1998

Tinuel, this is a golden opportunity to work at your project together (ie, family, daughter, your relationship) with a bit of space and the chance to trust each other and giving your relationship another go.

I think it shows a lot of understanding and strength on both sides to do what you are doing. Look into what you can learn from this- flexibility, trust, ... and an alterntive arrangement to the traditional one.

I love the idea of dads being so close to their children...I think you are on to a winner here...your daughter is very lucky to have such dedicated parents..

Oldernotwiser

The_Banker wrote: »

Wow. She must really need those studies.

I couldnt leave my family for 6 days never mind 6 months.:eek: Although I could maybe understand blokes working away from home but not the mother, and not that length of time. At 7 years old a daughter needs her mother.

Having said that I am sure you are doing a good job OP.

What century are you living in?

Tinuel

Hi all,
I am back, and I starting to regret having agreeing to this. I honestly think trust is not there and I am not seeing things.
My little one fell ill with a cold/flu a week ago, temperature, vomiting, headache, cough. I gave her Calpol, juices, the usual stuff. Within an hour, the temperature was gone and she started improving. I kept her home for the following 3 days, the temperature and ill feeling never returned. I only took her to see the GP on the 4th day bc the cough persisted. We always did that when she had mild colds, keep her at home.
This time, the ex family came round to visit the "patient" and some of them caught the cold also. To my surprise, they called the ex to tell her I was a bad dad bc I took days to take her to the doctor. That all I was doing, including Calpol was wrong, it could be something serious, and did not act well, as a parent should. Needless to say, she believed her sister and started shouting down the line about how unfit I proved to be to take care of her. That I told her it wasn't serious, but according to her sister it was...

I knew what I was doing, I am the dad, how can that be questioned, my judgment? She believes her sister more than me. Now, she asks my little one to plug the webcam everyday to show her how she is. She does not want to talk to me either. The trust is gone she says. All this time, she has not heard what I had to say. It has been endless accusations.

mummy_Jay

Maybe you should have been the one to tell her when you first saw your LO had a cold, then the sister couldn't have gone telling tales.

Try putting the shoe on the other foot and you found out your LO had been ill for 4 days and you'd not been told, don't you think emotions may have over-ruled logic.

I really don't think its what you did more that you didn't tell her and she had to hear her daughters ill from someone else.

whitewing

I can see how frustrating it is for you and you know you are a good dad..

Her nastiness is purely her own maternal guilt about being away from her children.

Tinuel

mummy_Jay wrote: »

Maybe you should have been the one to tell her when you first saw your LO had a cold, then the sister couldn't have gone telling tales.

Try putting the shoe on the other foot and you found out your LO had been ill for 4 days and you'd not been told, don't you think emotions may have over-ruled logic.

I really don't think its what you did more that you didn't tell her and she had to hear her daughters ill from someone else.

Hi, I did. On the same day she fell ill. She is upset bc I told her not to worry, but her sister told her otherwise.
And I was right, till this day, our little one has been fine. But I hate the interfering....

instaunt

Tinuel wrote: »

A few months ago I posted here about my partner going to the US for study purposes for a few months from Julty till December.

She's the one taking off and leaving her daughter for months for "study purposes" (very vague!) ...