Lost in the middle - getting organised and debt free

Marru

Thank you 3D

I really struggle with the ignorance that surrounds this illnes. I went to pick up DD from the after shcool club and apologised for being late. I have decided to be more open about what is wrong with me so told to the lady who runs the place that I have been ill and now I had to go back on medication. She just told me to get motivated and said that everything is ok now for me. How bloody usefull.

So next time I will say that I have chemical imbalance in my limbic system so that should shut them up. It is very lonely illness as it is and then the need for the secrecy or you get given very unhelpful advice from people who just don't have a clue.

I have been reading a book called "Shoot the damn dog" and it is great. I am not as bad as the woman who wrote it but there are lot of parallels into my own life. Unfortunately it seems that I still have to go back to the relationship I had with my parents to get to the bottom of my behaviour that always ultimately leads me to these break downs. Oh - just noticed the past tense. Something to think about.

Anyway. Have seen BF today. I had a bath before lunch. He had cooked roast beef with roasties and parstips and peas. It was lovely but I didn't have much of an appetite. I did eat some and so far it has sort of settled in my system. At tea time I just had some salad. Between lunch and tea I spent sleeping. I don't feel guite as nauseous now but feel a bit drowsy. When we came back DD crashed on the sofa (she slept in the car). I don't know if I will just leave her there or try to get to her bed.

It is exam result day tomorrow. EEEEKKKK!!! I don't know if I should do any in June. Just get myself better first. I need to decide at some point but pointles ponder about it before I actually know the results.

Holiday club for DD tomorrow meaning that I need to start work half an hour earlier to be able to leave on time to pick her up. I really really hope that this nausea will ease off. If not I might just go in as I need to do couple of VAT returns and then I could ask for the rest of the day off if I really feel too rotten to work.

Off to mooch around the forum and then see what is on telly.

Marru

Ok, I have been pretty much in every other thread that I chat in to announce that:

:j I DID PASS BOTH MY EXAMS I DID IN DECEMBER!!!! :j

I am sooo chuffed!!!

Now I need to decide if I feel well enough to tackle one or two more in June. I will have a long weekend off this weekend so will decide on Tuesday.

Wish I could celebrate with some yummy food but my tummy is still not feeling 100% but on the positive side my trousers felt noticeably loose this morning so perhaps I should just keep up the good work :rotfl:.

The_Dragon

Congratulations Marru!!!

beanielou

Great news for you :j

Marru

I have had a calm day today. And today it really hits me how wound up I got by the end of last week. No wonder the fuse blew after the court was over.

This is the nice calm period at work before the madness starts again on Tuesday. As this is a short month and I was taking on new tasks so completing January took longer than normally this time the calm only lasts for these few days. But I need to be able to keep this calm with me even when it is busy or I end up making mistakes, beating myself over them and then end up in a vicious circle.

However in the evenings I am tired. I only manage to do something quick to eat, wrestle DD to bed and then I am finished. On a good evening I can do some cross stitch but last night I didn't feel doing even that.

I have finally got the final FF agreed and need to send a cheque and I still haven't paid my electricity bill. So I definitely need to do both on my lunch break tomorrow. Oh and tonight there is no avoiding it - must get some washing done. Better get going then...

beanielou

Whats FF?
A good idea to try & carry the calm with you.
Something I fail miserably at myself though.

Marru

It is full and final settlement. BF lent me money to pay off my debts so I have now been getting full and final settlement figures from them all to pay off. Normally you get fairly decent discount this way so I owe now less to BF than I owed to the creditors.

I know about the calm how difficult it is. I think I need a nice picture or something to remind me. Off to search the net... ...and something else I need so search. While DD is with ex during those Saturday afternoons I am hoping to find either meditation or yoga class where I could go to then.

boultdj

Well Done on passing the exam's.

Marru

Now that I am feeling better I am so tempted to rush and buy the study materials for next exams but I really need to consult BF as he is ultimately the person taking the flack when I start to crumble.

But tonight I will drive down to where I used to live to visit a friend. She has two girls so DD is absolutely beside herself from excitement. We will stay for couple of nights so it will be lovely for both of us. Plus they have two dogs and two cats so I can get my quota of furry cuddles.

beanielou

Yah to furry cuddles.