Lost in the middle - getting organised and debt free

Marru

Things are starting to get to me. I am hoping that when the exams are over I will be back to normal. What ever that is. Everything is in a chaos and I am just chasing my tail and only thing I am doing apart from going to work, keeping myself and DD clean and fed is studying. And I don't know if it is too little too late but I really need to give it a go.

On top of all this I am having a meeting with a solicitor this Friday. I don't really have time or the energy for that. Pah!!!

I am just scared that I am sliding down and have a black dog to accompany me again. The fact that christmas is coming and people are going to expect card and presents is not making things any better. Why can't we just have a holiday, eat nice things and get couple of small things for kids? I know BF is going to do such a lot again and I just don't have the energy nor the time to think and get things.

Is it too late to emigrate somewhere where it is warm (not hot) and no christmas?

savingwannabe

Marru focus on getting through the next few weeks. Take it one step at a time and revise when you can. Worry about Xmas after the exams. Put it to the back of your mind ok. The shopping etc can wait.

If it is getting to much can you withdraw your entry for the exam till things settle? Are there exams in the summer? Moving house, looking after children are the most stressful things you can do and studying for exams is going to be so difficult. I will applaud you whatever decision you make. Just remember there is a choice here.

Love, kit.

Marru

Thanks SW. There are exams in June but I have already paid £400 for study materials (that I cwon't be able to use in June as the syllabus will change) and also non refundable £138 for the exams. I really need to give it a go. Especially as the subjects are my best subjects meaning that there is a chance for me getting through.

I have ordered a laughing dog for DD from fleabay and I can go after exams on my lunch break to get couple of puzzles from a garden centre near my work (we saw them during the weekend when we went there). Then I just need some pyjamas for her and I can also get them on my lunch break from nearby Mr T. I will think about BF and his mum after exams. My family is used to not having anything from me. They know that with me it is bit of a hit and miss when it comes to xmas. One year they got their xmas pressies on Easter. (I never managed to put them into post so took them with me when I went to visit - they live 3 hour flight away)

This morning [STRIKE]the monster[/STRIKE] DD kicked me. I had taken her gloves into the car and she had a tantrum over it and ran back into the house. I ran after her and carried her out when she gave me a kick. I need to talk to her about how important it is to leave the house on time and how I need her help with it. I might put a reward chart up again as well. Reward being going swimming as she loves that. Just need to think carefully what I am rewarding and how it is measured.

Better get on with some work.

Marru

Had an appointment with a solicitor this morning. He said that my ex is very likely to win his case. So now it is just for me to try to damage limitation. Needless to say that I am not very happy bunny. I have to file my statement by 13 December and my second exam is on 14. Ha ha!!! Could someone please just put me out of my misery?

savingwannabe

oh marru I replied to the PM but i have just read your diary entry. I am so sorry i shall pray for you. Do you anyone that can offer any advice about the court case? Is it worth postponing the exam till the summer? This is far too stressful on you.

So_Sad_Angel

Hi Marru

It all sounds so stressful but stay strong & whatever decision you make will be for the best I`m sure.

I haven`t read your diary through but sending a big ((HUG)) that you can get through these next few weeks & all will be OK.

Angiexx

savingwannabe

Can anyone help with advice to change/understand DD's behaviour?

Marru

Hi,

Thank you both!

I am at friends back down in Somerset so logging on from their computer. I should be online at home on Monday hopefully

About the court case, I have to go for meadiation just need to try to get ex to pay for it. Unlikely but worth a shot. He will get visiting rights but I am going to try to limit it as much as possible.

I just need to find a reliable person preferably with child care experience that would be happy to take DD to the meeting points and then bring her back as I am not going to go and do it myself again. Also this means that I have an objective professional to report what is going on. Perhaps will put this for the Matrix.

DD is only responding to my stress. When I am relaxed, she is relaxed. We managed to have a really nice day today. We went to a Saturday school where we both can mix with people from my country and she gets lesson with other kids in my language. Afterwards we went to do some pyjama shopping for her (couldn't leave this for xmas as she really needed new ones) and despite her being hungry and tired we were able to communicate fine.

The solicitor gave me lots of help with how I need to do my statement so I shall do it but won't send it until last minute. I am fairly confident that I can pass my first exam. What comes to the second I will give it a shot, not that confident but am more relaxed about it now. If the case goes to court I will hire him as a representative despite him saying that I am intelligent and articulate enough to be able to do it myself but I still prefer not to have to. Lets hope it doesn't go to that.

It seems that I am not very articulate as I am mixing subjects in my paragraphs but sorry I am too tired now to go and fix it. I hope it all makes sense.

Marru

Update:

House is still like a bombsite. And I need to find a babysitter for Thursday evening when it is our work do. Just don't know where this baby sitter will actually sit.

First exam tomorrow. Feeling fairly confident about that. Not allowing myself to think about the second one :eek:

I wrote a letter to the court saying that I am not able to do my statement by the deadline they gave me due to my exams. I haven't heard back from them. What is the worst that can happen? Doing some community service?

I have been left alone to study so better get on with it and log off from here.

Marru

So one exam down, one to go before it all starts again in the spring. I am fairly confident about how it went yesterday. Not so confident about the next one. Must start ploughing through mock exams tonight.

Off to get some food and then perhaps log onto the online learning thingy to do some revision.