I have had enough of my marriage

pinkpong

I just had enough of the man I live with. I don`t have a job I have been kept to stay at home so he does not have to do anything with our three children, I meany anythig ( we don`t get any benefits). I know there are days when I don`t do anything at all, but not always.Apart from earning the dosh which is important I know, this man does nothing much else. He comes home from work, his dinner is on the table ( cooked from scratch), after that he goes on computer then he attends his hobby or watches the telly. He does the gardening - chopes the branches into million pieces even the neighborough noticed! He never used to do anyhing with the kids, he still really doesn`t. He never takes me out. I don`t officialy work , I do selll on Ebay and Amazon not earning loots though , but I am trying to do something. I have tried to get a job, still applying, but not very good in this claimate. I have an allotment, even a dog, I hoover the house every other day, wash up , wash , iron, and clean. i tiled all the kitchen and the bathroom, all the floor and painted all the rooms, I even made the bloody curtains when my baby was just 4 weeks old, though 10 years ago. i do all the insurances , cars, house, cashb acks, survays you name it. And aparently I am still a mess and useles sh*t. Whatever I do just doesn`t seem to be enough. Do I need to justify my life on this earth to anybody!!!

Nothing like telling me you love me or want to take me out somewhere even just a park!
Yep I am from east europe so I don`t have any family here to go to chat nor have I haven`t got many friends as the once I have only know me when they need something! But we are not here when you have any problems cold English so and so!! I know you lot are not all the same there is tons of lovely people in this country , unfortunately I haven`t really stubled over then, yet. His family is only interested in themselves, never even came to push the pram as she promised ,we are only five minutes walk from them.

I am sooo angry at him, and a bit drunk at the moment , I don`t really want to get depressed, I have been there before, no thanks, but heading that way pretty fast.

I don`t know what I expect, just want to offload my anger as I have noone to talk to.
Thank yo so much for your time reading this, if you want input anything , pleas do.

JUst you people who like to patronise others to feel beter about yourself past this post by miles. I don`t need you at this very moment!

I love my three kids , they are my life.
I would love to get ridd of this husband of mine, but don`t know how. I am so afraid to tell him anything, I suppose we have the parent- child relationship. No doubt it is my falt as everything else is. I still feel I have to ask him all the time what ever I am buying if it is ok, after all these years, so sad I know. We`ve b een merried for 15 years now, I know is not all roses, but I want to be acnolidged, like the food you bothere to cook was good< not even great ( people think I am great cook), you look nice dear,or would you like to go out tonight my dear?

Viper_7

So he works, support you and the kids, wants some free time on an evening after working, and yet that's not good enough?
You expect him to do the cooking/house work too? you expect him to take you out all the time?
So, when he does do the cooking and the cleaning what would you be doing - ah yes getting drunk.

Blackpool_Saver

This sounds like many marriages, have you considered relate counselling maybe?

Mrs_Moc

I didnt read it as she wanted him to do any cleaning or cooking, just that she would like some acknowledgement for her input into the home. Its something I think mnay women feel at some point.

mark55man

Viper_7 wrote: »

So he works, support you and the kids, wants some free time on an evening after working, and yet that's not good enough?
You expect him to do the cooking/house work too? you expect him to take you out all the time?
So, when he does do the cooking and the cleaning what would you be doing - ah yes getting drunk.

that's harsh, almost unpleasant

can't tell your sex from the post, but either way, asking not to be taken for granted a fairly basic right

asking for childcare not to be considered "nothing" hardly unduly demanding

maybe OP's husband has your attitude viper, and everyone else will fully understand her pain

LeeSouthEast

Sounds like a difficult relationship. I wish I could offer some advice, but being half way through my own divorce perhaps I'm not the one to be giving it.

Do what your heart tells you. Don't stick around "for the kids" (my parents tried this - total disaster). Do what you need to do.

Mme.Hibou

mark88man wrote: »

that's harsh, almost unpleasant

can't tell your sex from the post, but either way, asking not to be taken for granted a fairly basic right

asking for childcare not to be considered "nothing" hardly unduly demanding

maybe OP's husband has your attitude viper, and everyone else will fully understand her pain

I think he may be a little bitter.

pinkpong

Viper -7 you make me lough! If he did any of that I think I would lick his a***, not meat to be rude!

Thank you all the other posters. Leesoutheast I wish I could plack the currage and finish it, but too scared. I know we culd be fine, even if I was just a cleaner. I know , I think that he will never change as we had this talk ( I am very lonely and bored in this marrige before, it seems to take him ages to understand that) I would love him to just take me out one in 6 months , is it too much to ask?
He haven`t even come comping with us the last few times as everything to do with me seems too much of an effert for him.
Please keep posting, I feell better already, even with my spelling mistakes.

The_Banker_5

Can you not be a little bit firmer with him and tell him you are thinking of getting a part time job. If he sees how unhappy you are he might start to do a bit more in the house.

I know he goes out to work but to be honest staying at home and bringing up kids and cleaning the house is harder. Well I think it is anyway.

dmg24

Please edit your title. I know you are frustrated, but there is no need for that language on a family forum.

whitewing

It worries me that you say that you haven't stumbled across any lovely English people yet in 15 years of marriage. Perhaps you could see what image you are projecting out?

I don't doubt that your husband is coming across to you as cold and unloving, but maybe you are also expecting him to be that way. Maybe you are putting too much emphasis on him to make you happy, rather than making yourself happy?

(To me your swearing is making you seem very hostile. I haven't seen you on the forum before, although you're not a newbie.)

Anyway, none of this is meant to offend you. I just can't think of any other way to put it at the moment.