Adopting a child

becs

Thank you CG77!

I feel the same Ladypink, I want to be a Mummy whether that be our own or adopted. We'll try for a bit longer but we are now looking at our options as don't want to leave it too late.

CG77 your little boy is a very lucky little man to now have the loving mum he has!

CG77

becs wrote: »

CG77 your little boy is a very lucky little man to now have the loving mum he has!

Thank you becs!

I think we're the lucky ones to have him in our lives. :A

All the very best.

CG. x

Oldernotwiser

Having gone through the adoption process I'd be wary of using the phrase "our own or adopted". When you've adopted, they are your own.

CG77

I agree oldernotwiser, and it did make me flinch too slightly when I read it, but people who haven't gone through the process don't think of that. We know what becs meant and she certainly didn't mean any harm. Thanks for pointing it out though. As I said earlier about my little man, 'he couldn't be more 'ours' if he had been born to us'!

CG. x

babymoo

Hey. I too can't have my own children and will hopefully one day adopt with my DP. https://www.fertilityzone.co.uk is a wonderful site and there will be a lot of people who can answer a lot of questions for you on there. Good luck hun

Oldernotwiser

CG77 wrote: »

I agree oldernotwiser, and it did make me flinch too slightly when I read it, but people who haven't gone through the process don't think of that. We know what becs meant and she certainly didn't mean any harm. Thanks for pointing it out though. As I said earlier about my little man, 'he couldn't be more 'ours' if he had been born to us'!

CG. x

I certainly never meant to imply that becs meant any harm by this but in addition to it's being hurtful to adoptive parents, you do need to be aware of how this sort of phraseology could be seen by social workers. That was the only reason I brought it up.

becs

Yes I am sorry Oldernotwiser. I would hate for my comment to have caused any hurt. I'm afraid it was a quick reply and my choice of words lacked thought. If we do go down the adopted route then I know without a shadow of doubt that any child we adopted would be very much our own and loved and brought up in exactly the same way as if I had given birth to them myself. I have very little experience of adoption at the moment other than having a friend who was adopted some 38 years ago so I'm probably not as sensitive with my phrasing as I should be yet.
I hope you can accept my apology Oldernotwiser and I shall certainly be much more aware af my choice of words in future.

Oldernotwiser

becs wrote: »

Yes I am sorry Oldernotwiser. I would hate for my comment to have caused any hurt. I'm afraid it was a quick reply and my choice of words lacked thought. If we do go down the adopted route then I know without a shadow of doubt that any child we adopted would be very much our own and loved and brought up in exactly the same way as if I had given birth to them myself. I have very little experience of adoption at the moment other than having a friend who was adopted some 38 years ago so I'm probably not as sensitive with my phrasing as I should be yet.
I hope you can accept my apology Oldernotwiser and I shall certainly be much more aware af my choice of words in future.

Oh, please don't apologise - there's no need! But you can find that social workers scrutinise everything you say, particularly when trying to adopt a very young child.

CG77

I agree about the SW's. I lost count of the number of times we sat dissecting every little thing we'd said after a home visit in case we may have said the wrong thing! It's enough to drive yourself nuts if you're not careful! Fortunatley for us, though, our SW was very human and we had no probs at all.

CG. x

never_enough

Lots of info here;

http://www.baaf.org.uk/

I have heard from two sources that a BMI of around 30 is expected, however I also believe that you can start the process at a higher BMI if you are headed in that direction. It may well be that there are differant criteria in differant areas, or for older children or sibling groups who may
be harder to find a new family for.