How do I get my wife back to work?

Welshwoofs

1sue23 wrote: »

I find this insulting I do not go out to work in so much as earning a wage ,

Could you point out the part where I stated I was talking about your life or your choices? I clearly quoted the post I was reacting to. I think perhaps you need to grow a bit of a skin and stop being so sensitive

The op is clearly working himself to the bone and needs his wife to contribute financially. Whilst spending your time working for charity is all very commendable, it is actually only doable if you are either of independent means or your husband has the money to support the entire household and doesn't mind doing so. The thread isn't about you though, it's about the op's circumstance and he obviously needs his wife to get off her backside and DO something.

p00hsticks

1sue23 wrote: »

You do not need to be earning a wage to lead a full life

That's true - but unless you are one of the few that has inherited money, you do need either the support of a partner who IS earning a wage, or be reliant on benefits funded by the tax payer.

1sue23

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Could you point out the part where I stated I was talking about your life or your choices? I clearly quoted the post I was reacting to.

I think perhaps you need to grow a bit of a skin and stop being so sensitive

Just maybe the husband does not realise just how hard his wife works, looking after children is not an easy job and most women who stay at home work very hard but remain unapprecated .

abbecer

I agree with you Emily 1990 up to a point. If both partners are happy for one partner to stay at home full time that's great. The OP is obviously worn out with working all hours and I don't see why if his wife wants to move house she isn't prepared to work and contribute towards it.

1sue23

p00hsticks wrote: »

That's true - but unless you are one of the few that has inherited money, you do need either the support of a partner who IS earning a wage, or be reliant on benefits funded by the tax payer.

The original poster is earning a wage , and his wife is working she looks after the children and house .

dbs

My wife is 51 years old which is 4 years older than me.

If we got divorced she would get kids house and if my daughter who is doing very well at school goes into further education I would be paying CSA payments until her 19th birthday so in ten years my wife would be 61 and virtually unemployable so I would get nothing from a divorce settlement because I am employable.

One good point out of all this is that I now put myself first instead of last.

We had our dog put to sleep last year and I have refused to have another one unless she goes to work to pay for it and passes her driving test so she can take it to the vets of her choice.

My wife is quite a caring person but not when it comes down to her going back to work to help me out, so it came as a bit of a shock to be honest

Welshwoofs

1sue23 wrote: »

Just maybe the husband does not realise just how hard his wife works, looking after children is not an easy job and most women who stay at home work very hard but remain unapprecated .

Oh come on....not that old chestnut. Sorry, but as a woman myself I find that line of argument to be absolute and total codswallop. It's an absolute insult to our gender that staying at home looking after the average kid (who, let's not forget, is at school from age of 5 these days!) and flipping a duster round a house is considered working 'very hard'. Women who think that is hard work have obviously never experienced real work.

Moreover, in this day and age only a few households can afford the luxury of one person staying at home not earning a wage.

Op, you need to get tough on her. If you're worn out and she won't help herself then you need to have some hard words. Perhaps lump her into the car and insist on teaching her to drive yourself would be a good start.

LilacPixie

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Oh come on....not that old chestnut. Sorry, but as a woman myself I find that line of argument to be absolute and total codswallop. It's an absolute insult to our gender that staying at home looking after the average kid (who, let's not forget, is at school from age of 5 these days!) and flipping a duster round a house is considered working 'very hard'. Women who think that is hard work have obviously never experienced real work.

I disagree with this. I have two kids under 3 and personally I find that my time in the office is a welcome break. I could not stay at home 100% of the time looking after the kids and playing Mrs Perfect Housewife 1957. I have the upmost respect for those that can.

1sue23

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Oh come on....not that old chestnut. Sorry, but as a woman myself I find that line of argument to be absolute and total codswallop. It's an absolute insult to our gender that staying at home looking after the average kid (who, let's not forget, is at school from age of 5 these days!) and flipping a duster round a house is considered working 'very hard'. Women who think that is hard work have obviously never experienced real work.

Moreover, in this day and age only a few households can afford the luxury of one person staying at home not earning a wage.

I think most stay at home mums do a little more than just flip a duster around ,I have always handled the family finances , I cook from scratch , I decorate, I do the gardening in fact my hubby does not lift a finger and I would not want him to , running the house is my job and I do it well .
When my children were young we were on a low wage but I managed on very little and went without but for me it was important to be at home for my children .

LilacPixie

Oh and not everyone has the physical ability to learn to drive. My mother for example, no spacial awarness at all, cannot judge speed or distance, hasto think about left or right with no sense of direction. Despite livinginthe middleof nowhere with a practically non existant bus service she refuses to learn to drive chosing to stay home and garden or cook.The thought of someone bundling her into a car and forcing her to learn is quite terrifying. Perhapes your wife is the same.